The Enemy Within
by Alice I
Summary: When Charlie turns up missing Don and the team, with the help of Jack Malone and Danny Taylor from NY start to search for him. As they unravel the last few days of Charlie's life, their search for him becomes a race to save his life. COMPLETE
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** The Enemy Within  
**Author:** Alice I  
**Rating:** PG (No Sex, No Violence, No Profanity) 

**Summary:** When Charlie turns up missing Don, Terry and David with the assistance of Jack Malone and Danny Taylor from NY start to search for him. As the team unravels the last few days of Charlie's life, Don discovers some chilling facts about his brother, and their search for him becomes a race to save his life.

**Note to the reader:** As the team interview the people who have interacted with Charlie for the last few days the scenes with Charlie are revealed in flashbacks. For the ease of the reader these flashback scenes have been seperated by ruled lines.

**The Enemy Within**

**Chapter One**

_Thursday Morning 7:00 AM  
_Alan Eppes had not slept well after the conversation that he had had with his younger son the previous evening. It troubled him that Charlie was planning a trip without saying where he was going or how long he would be gone. He knew that Charlie consulted at times with other agencies besides the FBI and that he was not always at liberty to discuss what he was doing or where he was going, but Alan was sure that this trip had nothing to do with a consulting job.

Charlie had been under a lot of emotional stress connected with the anniversary of his mother's death. The truth be told; Alan was also having some difficulties with her loss. Even though a whole year had passed since his beloved wife had died, the pain of that loss still felt raw in his heart. Alan dealt with that pain by focusing on his son and he was determined to speak with Charlie about this trip, so he had gotten up early in order to confront him before he left for school.

Alan made French toast, which was one of Charlie's favorite breakfasts, in hopes that he would finally sit down and eat something. To Alan's dismay, when Charlie came down from his room he had his jacket on and his satchel slung over his shoulder ready to leave without even a cup of coffee.

"Charlie! It's seven thirty in the morning, where are you going without breakfast? Come and sit down, I made French toast." Alan said hopefully.

Charlie sighed wearily. "I'm sorry, Dad, I can't. I promised to drop these equations off for Larry this morning." he said as he headed for the back door.

"Charles Edward Eppes! Come back here and talk to me, young man!" Charlie froze at the command in his father's voice. It was very rare to hear his father speak so forcefully and he instinctively obeyed the command and came back and sat down at the kitchen table.

Alan was actually mildly surprised that Charlie had obeyed him and smiled inwardly. As he set down a plate of toast in front of his son, however, it was with a sober look on his face.

"Charlie, I understand that you are a grown man and can make decisions for yourself without my permission, but you also have responsibilities that you cannot just walk away from. Remember you are a home owner now, and you have a job where students are depending on you. What are they supposed to do while you are gone God knows where for God knows how long?"

Charlie shook his head looking desperately tired. "Dad, I told you already that I had taken care of everything. The utilities are set up on a direct debit payment, the taxes have been paid, Dean Cummings has arranged for a substitute for my classes and made arrangements to postpone the peer review if necessary."

Alan noticed that Charlie was rubbing his forehead and realized that he must have another headache. "Charlie, you have been having an awful lot of headaches lately, don't think I haven't noticed. You know, you really should go see the doctor." Then he slid the plate of toast closer to his son and continued "And if you don't start eating properly these headaches will not get any better. Please have some breakfast."

Charlie put his hand down then stood up from the table looking at his watch. "I've already seen the doctor, Dad, so please stop worrying. I really _do_ want to see Larry before his first class so I've got to run. I'll see you tonight." With that he headed out the door and got on his bike.

Alan watched him from the window as he rode off out of sight, feeling better knowing that Charlie had actually gone to see the doctor. Then he shook his head and realized that he was probably being over-protective. After all, Charlie was an adult who was perfectly capable of taking care of himself.

He turned away from the window and started to clean up Charlie's untouched breakfast and felt another twinge of concern about this trip he was planning when he suddenly realized that he didn't have any idea when Charlie meant to leave.

_Thursday 12:00 PM  
_Don seemed distracted at work throughout the day and both Terry and David noticed it, although Terry had a clearer insight than David did as to what was troubling her partner. She went over to his desk around noon and asked him if he wanted to go get a bite to eat.

Don wasn't particularly hungry but Terry looked like she wanted to talk, so he stood up and grabbed his suit coat. "Sure, I guess a change of scenery won't be too bad." They went to the park near the FBI offices and got hotdogs from a vendor then sat on a bench near the duck pond in the park.

"How are you holding up Don?"

"I'm fine. The service on Tuesday was not very easy, especially for Charlie. I didn't realize that this would be so hard for him. I mean he was barely aware of what was going on a year ago when Mom was at the end and now a year later it's like he is finally…"

Terry waited for a moment for Don to gather his thoughts. The anniversary of their mother's death was affecting him as well, even if he was focusing on his brother.

"…I don't know, Terry, it's like it's just hitting him. Don't misunderstand me, he was devastated last year when mom died, but he just bottled it all up and retreated further into that damn equation. I looked around the house and in the garage and he isn't working on it now. It's like he is just starting to deal with her death. I guess that's a good thing and I should be glad that he's facing his feelings now, even if it is a bit late."

Terry put her hand on Don's leg and said, "That isn't so out of character for Charlie, though, is it? Just because he can process numbers and variables as fast as any computer, that doesn't mean he can do the same thing with his feelings. It isn't uncommon for an anniversary to trigger the release of bottled emotions. That's basic human nature. We place so much emphasis on anniversaries as a culture: wedding dates, birthdays, holidays and even the dates that mark a person's death. It's why there are things like these services to honor the dead on those anniversaries."

Don looked at Terry and realized that she was right; but he still had a nervous feeling about Charlie. He stood up and walked over to the trash can and threw his uneaten hotdog in. "Charlie stopped by my place last night."

Don turned to face Terry who had also gotten up and walked over to him. "He was sitting on the steps waiting for me to come home actually." Terry again waited quietly for Don to continue.

**Flashback**

* * *

Wednesday 8:30 PM  
Don pulled up in front of his apartment building and saw Charlie sitting on the steps. "Charlie! What are you doing here? Are you all right?" 

Charlie looked up and said "Yeah, I just wanted to talk to you."

Don came over and sat down next to his brother. They sat quietly for a moment before Don spoke. "Look, Charlie, I know that the last couple of days have been tough for you."

Charlie held up his hand and said, "That's not why I came over, Don. Last week I was out of line and I wanted to say that I'm sorry."

"Okay" Don replyed, in a cautious tone clearly expecting a _'but'_.

Charlie could almost read Don's mind and smiled. "There's no but. I was wrong and I'm sorry. I also wanted to let you know that I'm going to be out of town for a while."

Don raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Where are you going?"

"That's not important, I just wanted you to know that I may be gone for a while…" Charlie could see the look on Don's face and it looked exactly like his father's did and he continued, "…and _no_ I'm not running away from anything, Don."

Don looked genuinely confused and held up his hands. "I didn't say anything like that Charlie."

Charlie stood up and picked up his bicycle that had been resting against the railing. "I have some things that I need to take care of, but would you do me a favor…" he swung his leg over the bike and stood strapping on his helmet. "… can you keep an eye on Dad?"

Don was feeling a little odd about this conversation now. It felt too much like a goodbye. "Charlie, I'm not worried about Dad but I _am_ worried about you. I know that yesterday brought out some buried feelings for you…"

Charlie cut him off. "Don, this isn't about Mom, or Dad or you…  
It's about me and this…  
…this is something that I have to do. Just remember that I love you and Dad and that I'm okay."

Charlie turned away and rode off while Don stood there staring after him "Charlie! Charlie, wait!" But Charlie kept riding down the street and out of sight.

* * *

"It was almost like he was saying goodbye, Terry."

Terry frowned and said, "Well, that _is_ out of character. Have you spoken with your father? Does he know where Charlie is planning on going?"

Don and Terry started to walk back to the office. "I called Dad as soon as Charlie left, and he is concerned about him too. He doesn't know where Charlie is going, but he was going to talk with him about it this morning. Dad also said that Charlie hasn't been eating lately. Now that I think about it, I have noticed that his clothes are getting a little baggy. Not that Charlie is the best dressed, but still it does look like he might be losing a little weight."

Terry was starting to feel as uncomfortable about Charlie's behavior as Don. "Don, it sounds like he is slipping into depression. If he isn't eating that could be a sign, and it would certainly fit with how he is feeling about your mom. The fact that he wants to leave on some trip right now is troubling."

Don opened the door to the LA offices for Terry and said, "I know, I don't think him leaving right now is a good idea either, but what can I do? He's an adult and I can't just arrest him or force him to talk about this. He has never been the world's best communicator, so what do I do?"

Terry smiled inwardly because Don could have easily been describing himself when he said that Charlie was not the _'world's best communicator'_ but in a more serious tone she said, "Put a tail on him."

Don stopped dead in his tracks. "What?"

Terry pulled him aside because he had spoken so loudly that people in the hallway had turned to stare at them. "Look, it may be a bit unconventional but I'm also concerned about Charlie leaving town in his current state of mind. Our case closed yesterday and as of yet we don't have anything pending. I would be willing to take some time off, and you haven't taken any vacation in the past year so we can work together to keep an eye on him."

Don thought about that for a moment frowning. "I don't know, Terry, if it were me and I found out that my brother was spying on me, I'd be pretty pissed off. Let me think about this for a while."

_Thursday 3:00 PM  
_Don was still sitting at his desk mulling over the idea of tailing Charlie when a vaguely familiar voice interrupted his thoughts, a voice that he hadn't heard in a very long time. "Well, I guess I heard correctly. You _are_ back in LA."

Don's head snapped up. Standing right in front of his desk was Jack Malone. "Jack!" Don stood and shook his hand. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, it's good to see you too."

Don laughed and clapped Jack on the shoulder. "Oh sorry, you just took me… well, completely by surprise. How are you Jack?"

Jack chuckled and said, "I'm doing well. Actually I'm here to help set up and train the LA Missing Persons Squad."

"I'd heard about the new division; not that I mind sharing some of our case load. So you are still teaching at Quantico? I thought that you had gone back to the Big Apple."

"I _am_ in New York. I run the squad back home. We've had good success in closing files so I was asked to come to LA and help to get the west coast division underway."

"Well, they couldn't have gotten a better man. How long are you in town?"

Before Jack could answer Terry came out of the conference room adjacent to Don's desk and said, "I thought I heard a familiar Brooklyn accent!"

"Terry! I hadn't realized that you were here as well. It's good to see you."

David was right behind Terry and quietly cleared his throat. "Oh, Jack, this is David Sinclair; David, this is Jack Malone. Don and I knew him when we were at Quantico together."

Jack stepped over to Terry and David and gave Terry a friendly pat on the shoulder and shook David's hand saying, "Pleased to meet you."

Don said, "Jack was one of the toughest instructors that I ever had and he delighted in making me suffer, if I recall correctly."

"Oh come on, I was a sweetheart!" Jack retorted, but winked at Terry and David. "But seriously, Don here was one of the finest young trainees I've ever seen. As a matter of fact he went on to run his own office in Albuquerque. So what brought you back to LA?"

David suddenly found that he had urgent business on the other side of the office and Terry smiled lightly and said, "I'll let you two get caught up." and turned to leave.

"What did I say?" Jack looked slightly embarrassed at the sudden departure of the other agents, and wondered if he had really put his foot in it. Perhaps things in New Mexico hadn't gone so well, but he had heard that Don was very successful a couple of years after he had acquired the post.

Don took a seat at his desk and offered a seat to his old instructor. "My mother got sick and I came home to be with her."

The look in Don's eyes told Jack volumes. His mother wasn't just sick she must have been terminal. "I'm sorry, Don, I didn't…"

"How could you know, Jack? Don't worry about it. She died a year ago. It was hard leaving Albuquerque but I'm in a good place now. I may not be head honcho, but it's good to be home. You can understand that, Jack."

Don knew that when Jack was instructing at Quantico, the one place he wanted to be the most was back in New York with his wife and girls. Don also knew that Jack's marriage had suffered from the separation.

Jack's face took on a soft look and he said, "Yeah, I know about wanting to be home." He reached into his breast pocket and took out a card and flipped it over, jotting down a number. "This is my cell, give me a call. I should be here for a week or two."

Don took the card and pocketed it. "Well, why don't you show me what you've been doing?"

Jack stood up, glad for the opportunity to move on to a less awkward situation. "Come on downstairs and I'll take you through the new squad room."

Jack led Don down to the ground floor and toward the rear of the building to a large office space with several half-partitioned cubicles surrounding a larger open area. In that open area was a large white board set up against the wall.

A young dark-haired Hispanic man walked over to Jack and Don. "Martin just sent the case files you asked for." Then he grined and said, "He also asked if you were working on your tan."

Jack raised his eyebrows but otherwise ignored the comment. "Don Eppes, this is Danny Taylor." Don shook hands with the younger agent.

Jack took one of the case files that Danny had handed to him and walked over to the white board. He pulled out a photograph of a middle aged man and attached it to the top of the board in the center.

"First we start with our missing person. We have to establish a timeline from the moment they disappear then work backward. Once we have a good psychological profile and their recent movements we can start piecing together where they have gone after they were last seen and ultimately we find them. It really isn't unlike what you do when conducting an investigation but we delve more deeply. We have to use the information from interviews of family, friends, co-workers and anyone else who has had any contact with our missing person to build the psychological profile. This profile coupled with background investigative techniques will build an accurate timeline that will lead us in the right direction."

_Thursday 7:00 PM  
_Don decided to stop by and see Charlie. He was still uncomfortable with the idea of tailing his brother. He was hoping that if he could talk with him about this, it might ease the worry that had been churning in his stomach all day.

When he came into the house through the back door his father came out to the kitchen. "Charlie?"

"No Dad, it's me. Where's Charlie? I wanted to talk to him."

Alan looked mildly worried. "He's not home yet, although I had expected him a while ago."

Don instinctively looked out toward the side yard to where Charlie usually parked his bike. "Well, you know how he gets when he is working on something. He'll turn up soon. So what's for dinner?"

Alan shook his head and chuckled under his breath "As if you didn't know."

"What?" Don said, in mock innocence.

"How is it you always know when I'm cooking rib eye?" Alan's smile faded slightly as he too glanced out the window looking for Charlie. "It's really getting kind of late; maybe I should call his office again."

Don had fished a beer out of the refrigerator. "Again? Why so concerned Dad, did he say something about this trip that's got you worried?" Don tossed the bottle cap in the garbage and turned to his father and added, "What did he tell you about it anyway?"

Alan sighed. "That didn't go so well. He didn't tell me anything actually. I asked him about it but he just evaded the questions. I'm not sure why, but I just don't think that he should go on this _mystery_ trip right now."

"I have to agree with you on that one."

"I've got a bad feeling about this Donnie. He left early this morning because he needed to drop some calculations off to Larry before his morning class, but that is the last I have seen or heard from him."

Don frowned and took his cell phone from his pocket to call his brother. It rang several times before going to voicemail. Don closed the phone. "His cell is on, but he's not answering."

"I know; I've called him a couple of times over the last hour."

Just then the front doorbell rang. Don walked out to the living room and over to the door quickly to answer it only to find Larry standing there nervously scratching his head. "Hello Don, Is Charles here?"

Alan stepped over to Don and Larry and said, "Charlie hasn't come home yet, Larry. Did he say anything to you this morning when he saw you before class?"

Larry looked utterly confused and ran his hand over his chin, saying, "I didn't see Charles this morning although I was expecting him. That's why I came over actually." Larry noticed Alan and Don exchange worried looks and said, "Is something wrong?"

Alan marched over to the phone and picked it up. "I'm calling the police!"

Don put a hand on his father's arm. "Dad, I am the police! What time did Charlie leave this morning?"

Alan hung up the phone. "It was about 7:30. He said that he was going to drop off some equations for Larry before his morning class. Something's wrong Donnie. He only had his school satchel with him when he left, and I checked his room. He hasn't packed anything yet and his suitcase is still in the closet."

Don was starting to feel very anxious about this and agreed with his father that something was definitely wrong. He pulled out his cell phone while checking his coat pockets for something.

He pulled out the card that Jack had given him earlier that day and flipped it over and dialed. "Hello, Jack? It's Don Eppes. Look, I have a situation and I need your help. My brother is missing."


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

_Thursday 8:30 PM - Missing 13 hours  
_By the time Jack and Danny arrived at the house Alan was pacing the floor trying to figure out a logical reason for Charlie to not have shown up at school. Larry had confirmed that he had not turned up to teach any of his classes and the fact that he had not been back to the house or left on his trip had Alan feeling more and more tense. Larry was doing his best to calm him, to no avail.

Don had called David and Terry and they arrived shortly before Jack and Danny. "Dad this is Jack Malone. He runs the missing persons squad in the New York office." Don had everyone sit down at the dining room table and Jack pulled out a notebook then looked into the distraught eyes of the elder Eppes.

"When was the last time you saw your son?"

"He left the house for school around 7:30 this morning."

Jack had a slightly confused look on his face and said "Your son is a college student?"

Larry spoke up abruptly. "Charles is a professor of Applied Mathematics at Cal Sci and a colleague of mine."

Jack had gotten the impression that Charlie was Don's younger brother but this man who was a fellow professor was older than Don by a few years. "Mr. Eppes, do you have a recent picture of your son that I can have?"

Alan got up and took a framed photo of Don and Charlie off the mantle. He took the picture out of its frame and handed it to Jack. "This was taken three months ago."

Jack took the picture and looked closely at the young man standing next to Don in the photograph. He had deep brown eyes and brown curly hair. "Charlie looks to be about thirty. Isn't that a little young to be a college professor?"

Alan smiled with pride at that question. "Charlie will be thirty next month. He has been a professor at Cal Sci for almost nine years. He went to Princeton at thirteen, graduated at sixteen, got his first doctorate at eighteen and his second at twenty."

Danny let out a low whistle and said, "So Charlie is a genius?"

Jack jotted down what Alan had just revealed about Charlie then asked, "Has Charlie been under any unusual stress lately?"

Alan exchanged a significant look with his eldest son and said, "When my wife... When the boy's mother died a year ago, Charlie had a lot of difficulty coming to terms with it. He locked himself away in the garage working on an unsolvable mathematical equation. It was his way of dealing with his mother's death, but he never really faced his feelings about it. Tuesday was the one year anniversary, and it hit Charlie harder than either of us expected."

Jack had been jotting down notes as Alan spoke, but stopped and said, "Why is that, Mr. Eppes?"

"I came home Tuesday afternoon and found him there in the living room." he said, pointing at the coffee table in the adjacent room.

**Flashback**

* * *

Tuesday 4:00 PM  
Alan walked in from the kitchen and saw Charlie sitting on the floor in the living room in front of the coffee table. He was surrounded by pictures of his mother and many of the childhood cards and other projects that he had made for her, while tears ran freely down his face. It was obvious that Charlie hadn't heard his father come in. After watching him for a few minutes, Alan went over and sat down next to his son and put one arm around him. 

"I miss her too, especially today." Charlie looked at his father, seeming to see him for the first time. He clenched his teeth together, trying to stop his jaw from trembling as fresh tears appeared in his eyes.

He looked down at the pictures of his mother and spoke in a halting voice. "I failed her, you know." Charlie picked up one of the photographs and stared at it for a moment. When he spoke next he had such a defeated tone in his voice that Alan instinctively moved closer trying to give his son some comfort.

"She was always there for me, no matter what, and I ran away from her when she needed me the most."

Alan squeezed Charlie's shoulders and said, "No Charlie, you didn't fail her. Your mother understood better than anyone why you lost yourself in your numbers, and she knew all too well how much you loved her, and how devastating it was for you to lose her."

Charlie looked back at the photo in his hand. He couldn't bear to see his father's face just then. He pulled his knees up to his chest and held himself tightly trying to keep from shaking. His voice broke with emotion. "I miss her so much." Charlie couldn't stop the trembling that coursed through his body, and his shoulders shook as sobs of regret and repressed emotion racked him.

Alan pulled him into an embrace and rocked him gently while he wept. After a while Charlie pulled away from his father and said quietly, "I'm sorry Dad, I…"

Alan smiled gently and said, "Charlie, I'm your father. You are supposed to be able to cry on my shoulder." Charlie looked up into his father's face finally, and what Alan saw confused and frightened him a little.

Alan knew both of his sons very well and he had seen this look in his younger son's eyes in the past. It was the same look that Charlie had when he first found out that his mother had cancer. Charlie had fear in his eyes hidden behind the sadness.

"What is it, Charlie?"

Charlie looked down and in a small voice said, "I don't know how to feel right now. I let Mom face this…  
…the pain, the fear, alone. I wasn't strong enough for her."

"Charlie, your mother wasn't alone, she was never alone."

But Charlie didn't really hear his father's words. He was still holding the picture of his mother in his hands. She was laughing and playing with both of her sons in the park. Charlie was five at the time. This was one of Charlie's favorite pictures and as he stared into her laughing eyes, he whispered to her, "I'll be strong enough, Mom, I promise."

Alan didn't understand what Charlie was saying but he did know that his son was hurting badly and that tore at his heart. "Charlie, what do you mean 'You'll be strong enough'?"

Charlie once again looked into his father's face and this time Alan saw resolve in his son's eyes. "Dad, there is a service tonight for Mom, isn't there?"

Alan felt his concern ease and he nodded. "You should go with me, Charlie. You have kept your grief buried for too long and it's time for you to finally express it."

* * *

"Did he go with you to the service for his mother?" Danny asked.

"Yes, and so did Don." Alan said, looking at Don.

Jack turned to look at Don. "How did Charlie seem after the service, Don?"

Don had to stop and think about that for a moment. He hadn't realized how much this had affected Charlie until he heard his father describe Charlie's breakdown. "He was very quiet afterward, which is not so unusual for Charlie. He went up to bed shortly after we came back here. Dad and I talked about Charlie; but I didn't really understand until now how hard thia has been for him." Don turned to his father and said, "Why didn't you tell me he broke down before the service?"

Alan frowned and said, "We did talk about this, after Charlie went upstairs. It was an emotional day for all of us you know. Donnie, she was your mother, but don't forget that she was also my wife."

Jack wanted to steer this conversation back to the point and said, "Okay Don, can you tell me what you and your father discussed concerning Charlie after the service?"

Don realized that he was allowing his own growing concern to interfere with his objectivity and took a calming breath. He looked at his father from across the table "I'm sorry, Dad" He turned back at Jack and relayed the conversation Tuesday evening.

**Flashback**

* * *

Tuesday 9:30 PM  
Don and his father sat down at the kitchen table after Charlie went up to bed. 

"I didn't know that this would hit him so hard. I guess that explains why he has been so moody lately."

Alan frowned at his older son and asked, "Did you two have a fight?"

Don took a sip from his beer before answering. "I wouldn't really call it a fight, but he nearly took my head off last week when I asked him to look over some stuff for a case I was working on. He said that since I was the _perfect_ brother and so much better than him that I should be able to figure things out without his help."

Don put his beer down hard on the table and stood up, pacing the kitchen. "I have never said that I was better than him; if anything it's the other way 'round! I was so angry with him that we haven't spoken until tonight."

Alan sighed and said, "This _has_ been hard for Charlie and not just recently, but ever since your mother got sick. He loved her so much that he couldn't deal with losing her, that's why he retreated into that P vs NP equation. It's the only way his mind could relate to what was happening. That math problem is unsolvable, and to Charlie, losing your mother was the same."

Don stopped pacing and sat down at the table again, looking very tired. Alan realized that this was also especially difficult for Don, but his older son had dealt with the loss of his mother where Charlie was now only beginning to.

"Donnie, you need to understand that Charlie still looks up to you, even now that you are both adults. I've told you that before. In his eyes, you are better than him in all the ways that mean something; at least to him. You're taller, better looking, you always got the girls, you were popular in school and at work, you're better at sports and have more confidence in social situations."

"But, Dad, that's not true! First of all, I know for a fact that most of Charlie's female students wish that they could date him, and he has always gotten excellent peer reviews, so he is just as well liked at work, if not more than me. I mean Charlie is the big man on campus now. As for him thinking that I'm better at sports, you know that he considers himself the 'King' of basketball. He has no reason to think I'm better than him… NO REASON!"

Alan shook his head. "Donnie, you and I know all of this; and so does Charlie in his heart, but he there is a part of him that still feels like the weak little brother that needs to be looked after by his older sibling. He said that you were the _'perfect_ _brother' _because he views you as the good son. You came home and stayed by your mother's side at the end when he didn't. He feels like he failed her and its eating him up inside. That's why I wanted him to go tonight and why I insisted that you come too."

* * *

Jack was still writing notes and didn't look up at Don when he said, "You and your brother had an argument? When was that?"

"It was Monday last week? Why does that matter?"

Jack _did_ look up at Don then. "Don, this is how we compile a profile of someone. You should know that. It is always difficult when the person we are profiling is a friend or member of the family but you must trust me that this profile will give us the clues we need to find your brother."

Don nodded. "You're right, of course. Sorry, Jack."

Jack saw the strain in Don's eyes. "Don't be. Now you said that you were asking him to look over some things for a case you were working on. Does your brother consult for the FBI?"

"Yes, but not only for the FBI. He has consulted for the NSA and Homeland Security as well. Jack, he has Top Security Clearance."

Larry, who had been sitting quietly listening to everything, spoke up just then. "If I may interject something? As disturbed as I am hearing how difficult these last few days have been for Charles, might it be possible that he has simply left on a consulting job that he was unable to tell anyone about? However unlikely that may seem, he may have agreed to a job as a way of dealing with the renewed stress he has been feeling brought on by the anniversary of his mother's death. It may not be P vs NP, but it could still be an escape. Didn't you say something about checking his room to see if he had packed a suitcase?"

Danny spoke up before Jack did. "What exactly is this P vs NP?"

Don answered for Larry. "That is the unsolvable math problem that Charlie works on when he can't deal with what life throws at him. It's what he spent that last months of Mom's life doing because he couldn't..." Don stopped talking and got up, walking away from the table. "I guess old feelings die hard."

Jack said, "What is this about packing? Was Charlie going somewhere?"

Alan sighed and said, "Last night Charlie told me that he was going to be out of town for a while."

Jack looked the elder Eppes in the eye and said, "Mr. Eppes this is going to be very important. Can you tell me exactly what Charlie said to you last night?"

**Flashback**

* * *

Wednesday 6:30 PM  
Charlie came in the back door of the house looking very tired. "Charlie, I'm making home-made chicken soup." 

Charlie set his satchel down and got a glass of water from the sink. "It smells great, Dad, but I'm not very hungry."

Alan frowned at his son. "I've noticed that you haven't been eating. Charlie, you have to eat something, I mean look at you, your slacks are getting baggy because you've lost weight. I don't want to hear any arguments, young man, you will have a bowl of soup and some crackers. Now go get washed up for dinner."

There was no room for argument in his father's voice so Charlie picked up his satchel with a resigned air and left the kitchen for the stairs.

When he came down after a few minutes he looked more tired than he had in a very long time, but Alan was determined to keep the conversation light. The sadness in his son's eyes disturbed him and he desperately wanted to see Charlie come to terms with whatever was bothering him. Alan suspected that it wasn't just the fact that a year had passed since his mother's death. Something else was going on as well. Charlie took a seat at the table and allowed his father to serve him a large bowl of soup which he tried to eat a little of, but ended up just moving his spoon around the bowl more than anything else. Alan noticed this but put a smile on his face and asked, "So how was school today?"

Charlie didn't answer right away. He seemed to be considering how he wanted to answer this supposedly innocuous question. Then he looked at his father and said, "Dad, I am going to be out of town for a while."

Alan looked at Charlie somewhat taken aback. "Going out of town? But Charlie aren't you up for peer review in a couple of months? What about school? Where are you going?"

Charlie put his spoon down and said, "I spoke with the dean and arranged some time off. I asked for the review to be pushed back if necessary."

"Pushed back! Charlie, how long are you going to be gone, and _where_ are you going?"

Alan felt a chill run down his spine for some inexplicable reason when Charlie answered. "I have to get away for a while, Dad. I don't know for how long; maybe a few weeks."

Alan slowly shook his head. His son was running away again, maybe not into the garage but it amounted to the same thing. "Charlie, you can't run away from your problems. You have to face them or they will keep coming back to haunt you."

Charlie smiled slightly as though his father had said something ironic. "I know, Dad. I'm not running away this time. I'm actually taking this one head on. You don't have to worry about me. I have taken care of everything; I've already taken care of all of the arrangements."

The chill that Alan had felt a moment ago intensified as he felt the hair stand up on the back of his neck. "Arrangements; what arrangements? Charlie, what are you talking about?"

"It's nothing Dad."

Alan was confused and worried by Charlie's choice of words, but was determined to get to the bottom of this. "Is this about your mother Charlie?"

"Dad, this is just… It's something that I have to do." He stood up and walked over to the door to the dining room but stopped and walked back to his father. He kissed him on the cheek. "I love you, Dad."

Then he went upstairs to his room, leaving his father sitting at the kitchen table bewildered and somewhat frightened by his youngest son's odd behavior. When Charlie came back down stairs his father asked him about finishing his soup and Charlie said, "I actually have to go out just now."

"Where are you going, Charlie?" Alan asked in a tone that clearly said that Charlie had better not try to sidestep this question.

"I'm going to see Don. He and I had an argument last week and I want to apologize to him. I said some things that… well, let's just say I want to apologize."

Charlie didn't wait for his father to answer him and was out the door before Alan could question him further.

* * *

Danny said, "That doesn't really sound like he was going on a consulting job."

Jack looked at Danny then said, "I would tend to agree, but it is still something that needs to be checked out."

Don sat back down at the table not realizing that he had been pacing. "I'll ask Assistant Director Merrick to put in a call to Assistant Director Robert Thompkins of the NSA. That's who hired Charlie a few years ago to do some consulting, and I have a contact at Homeland Security that I can call to see if Charlie is working with them right now."

Jack turned to Larry and said, "Charlie said that he was coming to see you this morning. Did he show up?"

Larry was biting his fingernails with a worried expression on his face. "No, he didn't come to my office this morning. I figured that he might have had another headache and decided to stay home, and that's why I stopped by this evening."

Jack frowned and said, "You said another headache? Has this been a problem for him?"

Alan rolled his eyes and said, "Of course, I should have mentioned that. I have also noticed that he has been having a lot of headaches lately, especially in the mornings."

Jack looked from Alan to Larry and said, "Has that also been your observation, Professor?"

Larry scratched his head nervously. "Unfortunately, yes. Charles told me yesterday that he was going to take some time off."

"When did you speak to him, Professor?"

"It was around nine in the morning. I was on my way to the Dean's office when I saw him leaning against the wall in the corridor just outside of Dean Cummings office."

**Flashback**

* * *

Wednesday 10:00 AM  
"Charles?" Charlie didn't answer right away, nor in fact did he seem to hear his friend. He had his eyes closed tightly and he was pressing his hand to the left side of his head as though he were in a great deal of pain. Larry stepped quickly over to Charlie and touched his shoulder. "Charles? Charlie! Are you all right?" Larry's voice was very concerned and Charlie opened his eyes. It took a second to focus on the face of the man in front of him. 

"Oh, Larry, I um... I'll have your equations done by tomorrow morning, and I'll drop them by your office."

Larry was looking closely at Charlie with apprehension etched into every line of his face. "Charles, forget about that for a moment. What is it, another headache? You really need to go see someone about these, Charles, I mean it! This is not good."

Charlie stood up straight. "Don't worry, Larry, I already have. As a matter of fact, I am going to take some time off for a while; Doctor's advice." Charlie put his hand on Larry's shoulder in what he hoped was an affable gesture. "You see, I actually _do_ take your advice sometimes." They walked along the corridor back toward the Math department as Charlie continued, "Apparently I've been having migraines, and a break from the work would do me some good. I was just arranging a leave of absence with the Dean; so you see I _am_ taking care of myself."

Larry still seemed unconvinced. "Well, that is good to hear, Charles. I was actually on my way to see Dean Cummings about one of my students, so I'm going to head back." Larry turned to walk back in the direction that they had just come from when he turned to look at Charlie and said "Are you sure you are all right?"

Charlie smiled, and said, "I'm fine Larry."

* * *

Just then Larry's cell phone rang and he answered it. "Oh dear, I'll be right there, don't do anything until I arrive."

Larry stood up. "I have to get to the lab. One of my students has made a mess of things." He came over to Alan and said, "Let me know how things are going. I'll stop by tomorrow after classes."

Alan got up to walk Larry out and Don asked, "So what is next Jack?"

Jack was looking over what he had written down and said "We put out an APB on Charlie's car for a start."

"Charlie doesn't drive. He rides a bike everywhere or takes a taxi."

Jack jotted that down. "We start by running his phone records, calling the local taxi services to see where he has been going to. We need to do a credit check and look at his bank records as well as making calls to the different organizations that he may be consulting for."

Jack looked over to the front door where Alan and Larry were speaking quietly together then turned back to Don and said in a lower tone, "Don, based on the information here you do realize that Charlie is demonstrating all the classic symptoms of depression. He is having headaches, he isn't eating, he's losing weight and has used terms like 'making all the arrangements'. Don, we have to consider the possibility of..."

"No way!" Don lowered his voice to a hiss so as not to upset his father and continued, "There is no way that Charlie would commit suicide! I know my brother and how he thinks. Suicide is illogical, and Charlie is all about being logical!"

Terry put her hand on Dons arm and said quietly, "Don, Jack isn't trying to say that Charlie killed himself or is going to, but he has to investigate all of the possibilities."

Don was still staring hard at Jack and Jack looked Don in the eye and said, "Terry's right Don, and you know that."

Don broke eye contact and dropped his head for a moment before looking up again. "I'll call the hospitals and see if anyone..."

Jack said, "No, Don that is going to be Terry's job. I want to work in teams. You will come with me. First we need to go through Charlie's personal belongings, then check his office at Cal Sci and interview his students and collogues." Jack looked over at Terry and said, "You and David need to contact taxi companies to see if he has been using a taxi to get around. I also want you to contact the airlines, train and bus stations to see if he purchased tickets anywhere." Then Jack turned to Danny and said, "I want you to lead the team from headquarters, checking all the phone records and credit card purchases, and run down leads that we call in. Get the time line set up and we'll all meet to go over our findings, then start the leg work in the morning."


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter Three**

Don led Jack up to Charlie's room and they spent several hours going through his belongings. Don found a large stack of journals in a box in Charlie's closet. He was surprised because it had never occurred to him that Charlie even kept a journal.

Over the last few hours Don had learned quite a few things about his brother that he hadn't known. He had not noticed that Charlie was suffering from headaches or that he was sinking into depression. He _had_ noticed that Charlie might have lost some weight but until he had spoken with Terry about it that afternoon, it hadn't really registered.

The thing that bothered him the most was what his father had told Jack about Charlie's emotional breakdown Tuesday afternoon. He knew that his brother felt badly about the distance he had put between himself and their mother near the end, but Don had no idea that it weighed so heavily on his heart.

Don thought that he had put his feelings of indignation toward Charlie's behavior during their mother's final days behind him, but he now realized that it had been an invisible wedge between them. Perhaps that was why he didn't notice the things that everyone else had seemed to easily pick up about Charlie's mood recently.

By two o'clock in the morning Jack and Don had gathered three small boxes of journals, notes, work from school and various consulting jobs together. They decided to head back to the FBI offices and, with the help of impartial eyes, start dissecting his brother's life.

Terry and David were there with Danny and two other agents named Adam McGrail and Rhonda Blum. They were two of the agents that Jack had been training for their new posts in the Missing Persons Squad. As Don and Jack approached the central hub of the office, Don got a chill when he saw the photograph of his brother pasted to the top of a large white board with a rough time line of his movements over the last few days.

_Friday 3:00 AM - Missing 20 hours  
_As the timeline read now, it went back as far as Tuesday with a thick line pointing out the last time anyone had seen him.

4:00 PM Tues. - emotional breakdown on anniversary of mother's death

7:00 PM Tues. - goes to memorial service with family

9:00 AM Wed. - arranges for L.O.A. from work - cites medical reasons

6:30 PM Wed. - tells father he's leaving town

9:00 PM Wed. - tells brother he's leaving town

7:30 AM Thur. - leaves for work - MISSING

Terry saw Don looking at the timeline and stepped over to him. "Don, there haven't been any admissions to any of the hospitals for attempted suicides. The way that timeline reads now, it may look a little bleak but we still have a lot of blanks to fill in."

Jack called the agents together and made introductions. "So people, I know it's hard to get answers at three in the morning but tell me what we have got."

Terry took a sheet that David handed to her and said, "We have contacted all of the major airlines and no one using Charlie's name has purchased any tickets. We won't be able to check the smaller airlines until morning. We also contacted the bus and train stations and they have no record of Charlie purchasing tickets there either. If he did buy a ticket, he could have paid cash and then there would be no record. We are going to get the surveillance tapes from 8:00 AM up to now but that will take until at least 10:00 in the morning."

Jack nodded and turned to Agents Blum and McGrail. "Going through those surveillance tapes will be up to you two when they come in." He then turned back to Terry and waited for the rest of her report.

Terry gave Don an encouraging smile before she continued. "David and I have contacted every hospital in the LA area and no one fitting Charlie's description has been admitted. That holds true with the morgues as well. We are still trying to contact the various taxi services but at this hour we are having to leave messages for the managers. Once we have his phone records from his office, cell and home that will make the job much easier but we won't have those until at least mid-morning."

Danny stepped forward and said "So far our timeline is pretty sketchy. We won't be able to run a check on his bank account until 8:00 AM but I have already requested his recent credit history. I estimate that we should have that by midday, barring any problems."

Jack said "All right let's put on a pot of coffee and start going through these journals and notes. I want to caution everyone one here that Professor Eppes has Top Security Clearance with the NSA and if you come across anything that seems pertinent to that clearance you are to bring it directly to me. Is that clearly understood?"

Agent Blum frowned and said, "Yes, sir, but if he had Top Security Clearance, would he just leave notes laying around?"

Jack looked directly at this young woman and said, "As I said, Professor Eppes _has_this clearance but he is also a civilian, and, from what I have seen looking through his belongings, he is a bit unorganized and may have been lax in the privacy of his own home. Agent Blum, we _never_ refer to someone who is missing in the past tense." Jack looked around the room at all of the people assembled. "This is one of the most grueling and emotionally taxing jobs in the FBI. When someone is missing we do not stop, we do not rest, we do not go home with the flu or because our kid got sick. We stay focused and on the case until it is solved, and we find our missing person. We maintain the attitude that he or she is alive and somewhere out there, and it's our job to find them."

The silence that followed Jack's words spoke volumes to him. Agent Blum was looking down and obviously felt badly about her slip. She and Agent McGrail had been briefed by Danny, and she knew that Don Eppes was Charlie Eppes' brother. "All right now, let's get to work." Jack stepped over to the boxes that he and Don had brought in and started to hand out all of the things that needed to be scanned through.

By 7:00 AM Don was getting a little cross-eyed trying to read Charlie's chicken scratch. He had learned a few things about his little brother that he had never known. For instance, Charlie had a very nice flare for poetry. He wrote in his journals about a young woman whom he cared for deeply with dark lustrous hair and unfathomable eyes whose smile set his heart alight. Don had an idea who he was talking about although Charlie never named her.

Jack stepped over to Don and said, "Why don't you go splash some water on your face and get a cup of coffee, then we can head out to Cal Sci."

Don went up to his desk and pulled out an electric razor that he kept in the bottom drawer and went to the bathroom to clean up a bit. Once he had finished shaving and washing his face he stood staring into the mirror, lost in thought. Many of the passages that he had read in Charlie's journals floated to the surface of his mind. He was obviously in love with someone, probably Amita. He enjoyed his work as a teacher and spoke fondly of his students. He really loved working with Don. In one passage he wrote that getting closer to his big brother was the best things that had happened to him since before he graduated from college.

Don never realized how much his leaving, had hurt Charlie. In an entry from an older journal Charlie described how happy he was that Don had finally come back home. Charlie wrote that he was pretty sure that Don had left because of him, although he didn't really know what he had done. He was hoping that his big brother would someday forgive him, and want to be his friend as well as his brother. This passage had broken Don's heart, and he vowed to make sure that Charlie understood how he felt about him. He had found only one passage that was somewhat disturbing and pointed to the beginning of a state of depression. It was dated nearly six weeks ago when he and Charlie were working together on a case involving a released outbreak of the Spanish flu.

Charlie wrote:

_As I watch these innocents suffer and die, I can't help thinking  
__about Mom. Don said that she didn't suffer this way because of  
__all of the morphine that she was given, and I do believe him.  
__But what does that say about me? I had to ask my brother this  
__basic question about a woman who lived in the same house with  
__me all my life, a woman who loved me with all of her soul, and  
__yet I turned away from her in her darkest hours.  
__I feel so useless and weak. I was undeserving to have her in my life.  
__She was an angel, perfect and beautiful.  
__She was the only person who understood the real me.  
__She was the only one who never expected me to be anything  
__other than who I was, who I am.  
__I hate myself for leaving her, for not being like Don or Dad,  
__for not being strong enough.  
__I know in my heart that she has forgiven me for my weakness.  
__I 'm just not sure if I'll ever be able to forgive myself._

With that one exception there wasn't anything else in his journals that sent up warnings that Charlie was suffering from depression.

The most recent journal that he had read dated three weeks ago mentioned that he was having some trouble sleeping but that was about it. "Where are you, buddy?" Don whispered to his reflection. He stood staring into the mirror as if he was waiting for a reply. After a moment he shook his head and left the bathroom.

_Friday 8:00 AM - 24 Hours Missing  
_The first place that Jack and Don went was Charlie's office. When they got there Don stopped cold in his tracks and he instinctively turned around to check if he had the right office. "This is wrong."

Jack stepped into the office and looked around, slightly confused by Don's reaction. The office seemed basic enough. It had a large desk set back near the window. There was a large blackboard covering one wall as well as a roll-out blackboard that could be positioned anywhere. A set of file drawers sat against the wall and the various shelves around the rather spacious office were filled with all manner of odd objects. As Jack looked more closely he began to get an inkling of what was bothering Don. This office was clean, and neat. The desk had some folders on it in a neat pile. There was and in-out box in the corner of the desk with some papers neatly stacked in the bins. There were mathematical equations on the roll out blackboard that was resting neatly in the corner of the room near the file cabinet. This office bore no resemblance to Charlie's room at his home.

"I've been to this office hundreds of times, Jack. Charlie is a slob and I've never seen it look like this. Even when Amita straightens up for him it doesn't look like this."

Jack turned to Don and asked, "Who is Amita?"

Don was looking over the files on his brother's desk and said, "Charlie is her thesis advisor. She's in this office as much as he is sometimes, I know that she keeps the place somewhat straightened up, but she would never do this. Charlie has always had his things all over the place but he still knows where everything is."

Don continued to thumb through the folders on the desk. "These are class and assignment schedules for all of the different courses he teaches. They are set up in an easy to follow order. This just isn't like him."

Jack opened the first of the file drawers in the corner and started looking through them. "These files are in immaculate order. They contain lecture notes, student data, papers done by students that have been divided into two groups, graded and upgraded."

Don opened the drawers in Charlie's desk and, after sifting through the contents that were also neatly organized, he picked up a small scrap of paper and sat down in the chair. "Monday the 6th, 7:00 AM."

Jack walked over to the desk where Don was sitting. "What's that?"

Don held out the piece of paper that bore his brother's handwriting. "That is what he wrote on this paper. It's this Monday." Don put the scrap down on the desk and continued to look through the other drawers. He pulled out a folder that was labeled _Important_. Don felt a chill go down his spine when he looked through the document inside this folder. It was Charlie's life insurance policy that he had through the University. Don hadn't even been aware that Charlie had a life insurance policy. According to the date stamped on the top he had made some kind of change to this policy on Wednesday. "What are you doing, Charlie?"

Jack stepped over to the desk and looked at what Don was holding. "We'll need to bring that with us, Don." he said gently. Don closed the folder and handed it to Jack when something fell out of the back. Don reached down and picked up a photograph. It was the one that Charlie had been holding when he broke down Tuesday afternoon. Don could see that the photo was bent and slightly crumpled as Charlie had clutched it in his hands while his father comforted him. Don was still looking at the photograph of his mother with him and Charlie in the park when he looked up at the sound of someone knocking on the door frame to the office.

Standing in the doorway was a young man who looked a little nervous and was holding a short stack of papers. "Umm… er, I was looking for Professor Eppes."

"Are you one of his students?" Don asked, standing up and walking over to the young man.

"Umm, yes, my name is Mark Rodgers. Professor Eppes said that I had until today to turn in my midterm." he said, looking down at the papers that he held. He was clearly confused by the two men in his math professor's office but he looked quizzically at Don as though he vaguely recognized him.

Don looked at this young man and realized that he was nervous. "When was the last time you saw Professor Eppes?"

Mark shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. "In class on Monday; I was sick during mid-terms, and he told me that if I could complete a take home test, he would count it as my mid-term. Is there a problem? Where is Professor Eppes?"

Jack stepped forward and said, "There isn't a problem with your paper, Mr. Rodgers. You can leave it on the desk." Mark stepped hesitantly into the room and set the papers on the desk while Jack watched him. "Tell me, Mr. Rodgers, have you noticed anything out of the ordinary with Professor Eppes lately?"

Mark turned around and looked at the two men in his teacher's office and came to a conclusion. "You are the police aren't you? Is Professor Eppes all right? Why are you here? Where is he?" Jack could see that this young man was genuinely concerned and that their presence was unnerving him considerably.

"We are looking for your teacher, son. He didn't show up at home last night so we are just trying to figure out where he is." Jack saw that there was suspicion in this young man's eyes and he pulled out his badge and showed it to him. "I am Jack Malone and this is Special Agent Eppes, your teacher's brother."

Mark opened his eyes a little wider and looked at Don. "I thought I had seen you before." His demeanor changed considerably once he realized who Don was. "The only thing that I can tell you that was a little odd about Professor Eppes, was two weeks ago during a lecture he kind of spaced out for a minute."

Don frowned and thought that Charlie spacing out wasn't all that unusual, for him at least. "What do you mean he 'spaced out'?"

"Well, he was explaining the methods of deciphering complex variables and he just sort of stopped talking in mid-sentence. Professor Eppes can get distracted sometimes but not when he is giving a lecture. He just stood there with a completely blank look on his face for a few seconds, then all of the sudden he just sort of woke up and continued on with the lecture as if nothing had happened."

Don looked confused by this young man's account. This student was right about one thing. Charlie would never space out like that during a lecture. When Charlie was teaching, he was alive with enthusiasm and to lose his train of thought mid-sentence was definitely out of character. Don wanted to be sure of what was happening and asked, "Mark, how long was a few seconds?"

Mark seemed to think about that for a moment then said, "I'm not really sure, maybe fifteen or twenty seconds. It wasn't really that long, but it was enough that a couple of us called out his name before he snapped out of it." Mark began to leave but when he got to the door he turned back and said, "We all really like Professor Eppes. You need to find him, he's the best math teacher on campus and…  
…Well, if there is anything that I can do to help I will. All of us will… his students, I mean." He turned away and hurried out of the office.

Jack watched the young man almost dart through Charlie's classroom and said, "We should go see the Dean. My guess is that the entire campus will know about your brother within the next half an hour." Don took the photo that had fallen out of Charlie's life insurance policy and pocketed it.

Don and Jack entered Dean Cummings' office, but not before news of Charlie's situation had reached his ears. He recognized Don and ushered the two men into his office as soon as his secretary said that they were here to see him. "June, I do not want to be disturbed until I have finished with these gentlemen." With that he closed the door and offered a seat to Jack and Don.

"Agent Eppes, you look like you could use a cup of coffee; actually you both do." The Dean stepped over to a small table behind his desk and began to pour coffee for both of the men sitting there. "Professor Fleinhardt came by to see me early this morning and told me what was going on with your brother." he said, as he handed cups of coffee to both agents. "I must say that I am quite disturbed by this news. Professor Eppes…  
Charlie came to see me Wednesday morning to arrange for a leave of absence. It was apparent to me immediately that something was bothering him."

Jack pulled out his note pad. "Why is that sir?"

The Dean sat back in his chair with a thoughtful expression on his face. "There wasn't anything specifically that I could point to, but I remember feeling very concerned about him. Professor Eppes is usually quite relaxed and confident in himself when we have spoken in the past; but on Wednesday morning he was guarded and tense."

**Flashback**

* * *

Wednesday 9:30 AM  
Charlie stepped into Dean Cummings' office with a pensive look on his face. 

"Good morning Professor Eppes, how can I help you?"

Charlie came over and took a seat in one of the leather upholstered chairs in front of the Dean's desk and cleared his throat nervously. "There is something that has come up… Umm, I need to take some time off. It's personal, sir, but umm… unavoidable."

Dean Cummings could see that something was truly bothering Charlie. He was acting nervous and upset, which was quite out of character for this normally easy-going and confident young professor. "I can see that this is important to you, Professor, and I will help in anyway that I can. How much time do you need?"

Charlie frowned and winced as though in pain and looked down quickly as if to hide the expression on his face, but the Dean was a very observant and astute man and _did_ notice. "I'm not sure how much time I'll need, hopefully only a few weeks, sir."

Dean Cummings raised his eyebrows in surprise. "Professor Eppes, you _do_ remember that you are up for peer review in two months, don't you?"

Charlie sighed and carefully composed his face before looking directly at the Dean. "I know sir, but this is something that I really cannot put off." Charlie was careful to keep his expression neutral but something in his eyes caught the Dean's attention.

"Take what ever time you need. The peer review can wait if need be." He stood up with Charlie and extended his hand to shake Charlie's, whose grip seemed weak.

Charlie said, "Thank you, sir." The Dean noticed that as Charlie walked to the door he was moving slowly and deliberately as though willing himself to remain composed.

* * *

Jack jotted down everything that Dean Cummings had said about his interview with Charlie but the dean continued before he could ask any questions.

"It was obvious to me that he had a headache when he came to see me. My wife suffers from migraines and I am quite familiar with that look even though Professor Eppes was doing an admirable job of trying to conceal his discomfort. I spoke with Professor Fleinhardt shortly after seeing your brother and he reminded me of the fact that the anniversary of his mother's death was the day before. I know that in times of increased stress or periods of depression my wife will have more headaches than when she is relaxed, and I got the sense from Professor Eppes that he was definitely under some stress."

Jack did not look at Don when he asked his next question but he knew what the younger agent would be thinking. "Did Charlie seem depressed to you, Dean Cummings?"

Dean Cummings pursed his lips in thought before answering. "Whether it was depression or stress from some other source I can not say. He looked as though he was short on sleep, and he looked thinner than usual. He had a headache and there was something in his eyes, an expression that I couldn't quite read. What I do know is that when he left my office I felt concern for him that has now turned to outright worry. If there is anything that I can do to help you find him, please feel free to ask. Charles Eppes is one of the finest mathematics professors that this university has seen in a very long time, and while I may not be a close friend to him like Professor Flienhardt, I would be distressed to see any harm befall him."

Jack held up the folder from Charlie's office with the insurance policy in it. "Actually there is another matter that you could help us with. Professor Eppes made a change to his life insurance policy that he has through the university. Is that something he would have done here on campus?"

The Dean frowned and took the folder. "Yes, our Human Resources department handles all of these policies internally." He stepped over to his office door and said, "Please follow me, gentlemen." and he led them out of the office. They arrived in the HR department and the Dean spoke to the receptionist. "Jennifer, Professor Eppes came in recently. Whom did he speak with?"

The young woman behind the desk smiled brightly and said, "Yes, that was Wednesday morning. He spoke with Caroline." The Dean smiled and thanked her, and then led Don and Jack into the HR offices toward the back of the cubicles. He rapped lightly on a cubicle frame to get a middle aged woman's attention.

Caroline turned around from her desk and said, "Good morning Dean Cummings." with a smile that faded slightly when she saw Jack and Don.

"Caroline, Professor Eppes came in to see you Wednesday morning. What was that about?" Caroline glanced up at the two men standing with the Dean and he said, "I'm terribly sorry, Caroline Johnson, may I introduce special agents Malone and Eppes from the FBI."

Caroline's eyebrows shot up at the mention of the name Eppes. "Agent Eppes, are you related to Professor Eppes?"

Don smiled at her and said, "Charlie is my brother." Then his smile faded and he took a seat in front of her desk, with a sober look on his face. "Miss Johnson, my brother is missing and we are trying to find him." Don took the folder from the Dean that held Charlie's life insurance policy and showed it to her. "We found this in his desk and saw that he made some kind of change to this policy on Wednesday. What I need to know is what that change was."

Caroline looked up at Dean Cummings, clearly concerned by this alarming information, and the Dean nodded to her. She pulled open a drawer in her own desk and shifted through a couple of files then pulled one out labeled Eppes. "The change he made confused me a little. It was a bit unconventional. He changed from a sole beneficiary to joint beneficiaries."

Jack said, "Why is that unconventional, Miss Johnson?"

Caroline looked up at Jack but turned and spoke directly to Don. "Because he added his father as the second beneficiary. Being that this is a life insurance policy it is unusual to include someone who should predecease you as a beneficiary."

Jack jotted down what Miss Johnson had said and then asked, "Who was the sole beneficiary before Professor Eppes added his father?"

Miss Johnson looked woefully into the eyes of the agent sitting in front of her. "You were the sole beneficiary until Wednesday, Agent Eppes. This _is_ alarming news. I hope you find Professor Eppes soon."


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter Four**

When Don and Jack got back to the car outside the Cal Sci Math building, Jack called Danny at the office to have him update the timeline. "Terry and David have some information for you Jack." Danny said into the phone.

After a moment's pause Terry's voice came on the line. "We have Charlie's phone records and it shows that he made a call to the Associate Taxi service Wednesday from his house just after 9:30 in the morning. David contacted the manager and he pulled the records. The driver who picked Charlie up won't be back at the garage until noon. Charlie also called a lawyer. According to the taxi records Charlie's last stop was an office building on Wilshire which coincides with the address listed for the practice that he contacted."

Jack raised his eyebrows and said, "Oh, really? What is the name of the lawyer he contacted and what were the other stops he made in the taxi?" Don turned his head sharply and looked at Jack. After another moment Jack said, "Good work, Terry. Charlie's credit and bank records should be coming in soon and I want you and David to concentrate on that. Don and I will have a talk with the lawyer. Have Danny and the others keep going through the phone records for his cell and office." Jack hung up the phone and looked at Don, saying, "Charlie called a cab yesterday that picked him up and made three stops; a local cemetery, a bank, and an office building downtown to see a lawyer."

Don closed his eyes for a moment and shook his head. "He visited Mom's grave and then went to see a lawyer?" Don rubbed his face in his hands and said, "There must be a logical explanation. Charlie has been thinking about Mom a lot the past few days, so it doesn't surprise me that he went to visit her grave, but what on earth would he want to see a lawyer for?"

"Let's find out. We need to go to the offices of Jacoby and Meyer at 6549 Wilshire Boulevard." Don nodded and pulled out of the campus and turned east toward downtown LA. Traffic on the 110 was horribly congested and Don found himself getting more and more irritated as the minutes ticked slowly by. Jack could see the strain on Don's face and said, "Don, you need to trust the team and your own ability as an agent. We all know our jobs and will do them effectively. We will find Charlie. You need to trust in that fact."

Don heard Jack's words and tried to find some solace from them but the alarming things that his baby brother had been doing over the last few days had his stomach in knots. As Don sat stopped in traffic he thought ruefully to himself 'When did I start thinking of Charlie as my _baby_ brother again?' After nearly an hour fighting with the traffic Don and Jack arrived at the law offices of Jacoby and Meyer Associates which was on the tenth floor of a tall office building on Wilshire Boulevard.

_Friday 11:00 AM - 27 Hours Missing  
_When they entered and walked up to the receptionist she immediately knew that these two men were some kind of police officers by their dress and manner. Jack pulled out his badge and showed it to the woman at the desk and said, "Good morning, I'm Jack Malone with the FBI and this is Special Agent Eppes. A young man named Charles Eppes came in to see someone in this office Wednesday afternoon." Jack pulled a photograph of Charlie out to show the woman behind the desk.

The woman looked at the photo for a moment. "Yes, I remember this gentleman. He made an appointment to see one of our associates to have some paperwork drawn up." she said as she handed the photograph back to Jack.

"We need to speak to whom ever Mr. Eppes met with."

The woman looked at her schedule book for a moment. "Mr. Eppes met with Mr. Jacoby, but he is in court all day today. I could see if his assistant is available to speak with you." Just as she said this, a tall man in a neatly pressed three piece suit stepped out into the front reception area.

He was able to tell immediately that these men were FBI or some other federal agents. Having worked in the court system for as many years as he had, the look of federal agents was almost second nature to him. "My name is Brian Meyer. May I help you gentlemen with something?"

Don turned to the newcomer and said, "We wanted to speak to Mr. Jacoby about a client he saw on Wednesday."

"I see. May I see some identification, sir?"

Don and Jack pulled out their badges and Jack said, "We are investigating the whereabouts of Professor Charles Eppes, and have learned that he was here the other day."

Mr. Meyer looked to the receptionist and said, "Please pull the file on Mr. Eppes and bring it into the rear conference room. Gentlemen, if you would follow me." Mr. Meyer led them to the back of the office and showed them into a small conference then closed the door. "This gentleman that you are looking for, is he under investigation for a crime?"

Don sat forward and said, "No, sir, Charlie Eppes is my brother and he's missing. We are just trying to find him."

Mr. Meyer seemed to relax slightly and dropped his ultra professional manner. "I'm terribly sorry to hear that. Once I have his file I can tell you the nature of Mr. Eppes' business here, although it is against privacy privileges to divulge any details."

The receptionist knocked lightly on the door and walked in handing Mr. Meyer a file before stepping out again and closing the door. Mr. Meyer paged through the documents in the file briefly for a moment.

"It seems that your brother retained my partner to do two things for him. He has appointed the practice to take over tax payments on his property and he had a Last Will and Testament drawn up. These are fairly basic services and it looks as though Mr. Jacoby has allocated the functional application of executor to his assistant Michael Enos."

Jack had his pad opened and took down the name of Mr. Jacoby's assistant. "We will need to speak to Mr. Enos."

Don just stared at this man with a shocked expression on his face. "A Will; He had a Will drawn up? May I see it?"

Mr. Meyer could see how disconcerted this agent was; getting news that his brother had drawn up a Will, but that didn't change his answer. "I'm sorry, that is privileged information, Agent Eppes. Many people draw up Wills, sir, it is not so uncommon. This is not in and of itself an indication of anything to worry about. I will grant you, coupled with his recent disappearance, I can see why you might be concerned, but unless there is some more compelling reason, I simply cannot violate the confidentiality of a client."

Jack had been jotting down what Mr. Meyer had said and looked up at this lawyer. "The fact that Professor Eppes' disappearance is an official federal investigation should be compelling enough reason, sir. We are trying to ascertain where this man is and what his intentions are."

"I'm afraid that without a court order, I am not going to be able to help you further. I will speak to Mr. Jacoby about this matter as soon as he is available. If he feels that there is pertinent information that will help your investigation I will have him contact you. As for speaking with Mr. Enos, he is also in court all day but I will be sure to have him contact your office as soon as he is available."

Jack pulled out a business card and handed it to the lawyer. "You do that, Mr. Meyer." Jack stood up and noticed that Don was still sitting there with an almost blank look on his face. "Agent Eppes?" Don looked up at Jack and got up almost mechanically and followed him out of the office.

When they got back into the car Don rested his head against the steering wheel. "Don, this may not be what it looks like. If there is one thing I have learned doing this for so long, it is that things are not always as they appear."

Don looked over at Jack with troubled eyes. "That sounds like something Charlie would say." The strain and worry were starting to get to Don so Jack tried to re-direct him. "Our taxi driver should be back to the garage in thirty minutes. With the traffic it should take us that long to get there so let's just keep focused on the job."

The taxi driver was indeed at the garage when Don and Jack arrived. Alberto Cruz remembered Charlie from his photograph instantly and said, "I felt really badly for him. He was very upset after I took him to the cemetery."

Jack pulled out his pad and asked the driver to elaborate.

"Well, I took him to Grant Cemetery and waited for him while he visited a grave. I assume it was someone he knew and cared about an awful lot. It was obvious even from a hundred yards or so away that he was having a really hard time of it. When he came back to the cab things got a little odd."

Don frowned in confusion and Jack said, "What do you mean by odd?"

**Flashback**

* * *

Wednesday 10:30 AM  
Charlie got into the back of the cab and although he had dried his face of tears his eyes were red and swollen and the cabbie asked him if he was all right. 

Charlie took a deep breath and said, "Do you believe that what goes around comes around?"

The cab driver looked curiously at Charlie and said, "You mean fate or Karma?" When Charlie nodded the cabbie responded. "Yeah, I do. I took physics in high school and my teacher would say that for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Well, I believe that the universe follows those rules. There is a balance to things that maybe doesn't always happen right away, but in the end the universe will level the scales. So, yeah, I guess what goes around will eventually come around."

Charlie put his hands up to his face and scrubbed it, saying, "Yeah, well I guess it's my turn."

The cabbie frowned and said, "What was that?"

Charlie brought his hands down and the driver noticed how utterly exhausted he looked. "Nothing. I need to make a couple of stops downtown."

* * *

"I took him to the bank, then to an office building on Wilshire Boulevard." Don was frowning, trying to put the pieces of this puzzle together. Everyone that they had spoken to seemed to have noticed an enormous strain on Charlie, so why had he failed to notice that something was terribly wrong?

The cab driver said, "Hey, he also asked me if I was available to pick him up Monday morning at his house. I guess I don't need to do that now huh?"

Jack frowned and said, "What time did he ask you to pick him up?"

"6 AM. But he didn't say where he was going to be headed." Jack jotted the rest of the information down and said, "Well, thank you, Mr. Cruz. If we have any other questions we'll be in touch."

As Don and Jack walked back to the car Don repeated under his breath, "I guess it's my turn?" Jack looked over at Don and could see him really struggling with the things he was learning about his kid brother.

"That could mean several different things, Don. Remember that Mr. Cruz said that Charlie was very upset. Don't forget about that note we found in his office indicating that he had somewhere to go Monday morning. That clearly points to the fact that he was planning on being around to have the driver pick him up. We don't really have enough information yet to draw any firm conclusions."

Don got in the driver's side and paused for a moment. "Ok so what _do_ we know? Charlie put Dad on his life insurance policy, he had a Will drawn up, he took care of the taxes being paid on the house, he arranged a leave of absence from work, he cleaned his office and he visited mom's grave. Jack, he stopped by my apartment night before last to apologize for that argument we had and that is something that he has never done before."

Don sighed heavily and allowed his head to drop back on the head rest. "I know what this looks like, but I refuse to believe it. That just isn't Charlie." Don was having trouble putting the keys in the ignition. As his level of frustration increased, this simple task became nearly impossible. When he dropped the keys on the floor he hit his fist on the steering wheel in anger at his clumsiness.

Jack put his hand on Don's forearm and said in a gentle voice, "Don, get out." Don's looked at Jack not really understanding what he had just said. "You can't drive like this. Get out and I'll drive us back to the office. Perhaps Terry and David were able to turn up something that will lead us closer to the truth."

Realizing that Jack was right, Don obediently stepped out of the car and went to the passenger side. As they drove back to the office, he stared blankly out the window while his stomach churned in knots. Charlie's behavior was more than troubling; it had begun to frightened Don. He didn't want to believe that Charlie was even considering ending his own life. That just didn't fit with who he knew his brother was.

'_Let's face it Eppes, what do you really know about Charlie? Everyone else noticed that something was eating at him for the last few weeks except you. How well do you really know him?' _Don's thoughts echoed hollowly in his head. He tried to tell himself that this could be something else. One key piece of information could turn all of these things that Charlie had done over the last few days into an explainable course of action, but as much as he told himself that, he found that he didn't really believe it.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter Five**

While they drove back, Jack called Danny to give him the updated information for the timeline. Danny told Jack that David had gotten Charlie's bank records and discovered an even more troubling set of facts about the recent behavior of Charles Eppes.

_Friday 1:30 PM - 29 Hours Missing  
_When they arrived back at the office Don walked right up to the large white board with the timeline of Charlie's activities over the last few days and felt his heart constrict as he saw the undeniable pattern that arose.

4:00 PM Tues. - emotional breakdown on anniversary of mother's death

7:00 PM Tues. - goes to memorial service with family

9:00 AM Wed. - arranges for L.O.A. from work

9:30 AM Wed. - adds father as a beneficiary to life insurance policy

10:30 AM Wed. - visits mother's grave

11:30 AM Wed. - liquidates assets  
pays off all outstanding balances on credit cards  
sets up trust for automatic payments of bills  
withdraws $5,000 from primary savings

1:30 AM Wed - draws up last will and testament

6:30 PM Wed. - tells father he's leaving town

9:00 PM Wed. - tells brother he's leaving town

7:30 AM Thur. - leaves for work - MISSING

Don stood looking at this white board lost in thought. Danny stepped up to Jack who was also looking at the timeline and said, "Jack, Charlie is getting his affairs in order."

"It does appear that way."

Suddenly Don turned to face Jack with a fire in his eyes. "I don't care what the evidence says Jack, Charlie would never take his own life. There is some other explanation, there has to be." He didn't wait for any kind of response as he walked quickly out of the office.

David and Terry turned and watched this interchange, and David made to follow Don when Terry put a hand on his arm restraining him. "I'll go." Terry almost caught up with Don in the lobby of the FBI office and tried to get him to stop but he just walked quickly to the front doors as if he were trying to get out asfast as he could.

Don walked down the street ignoring Terry who had called out to him to slow down until he came to the duck pond in the small park where he and Terry had had hotdogs only yesterday. _'Was it only yesterday?'_ Don thought to himself as he stood looking out over the pond.

Terry walked up quietly beside Don, not saying anything, just offering her support by being present. Don had a million questions zooming around in his head but the most persistent one was: "Why didn't I see his depression?" He didn't even realize that he had said it aloud until Terry answered.

"Depression does not always manifest itself in the classic ways that most people think of. My husband flew into rages when he was depressed. Charlie has enough quirky mannerisms that it could be hard to spot depression in him."

Don turned to her with a mixture of fear and pleading in his eyes. "Why would Charlie add Dad to his life insurance policy, draw up a Will and put all of these things in place as if he were going to…" Don seemed to deflate and Terry gently guided him to a nearby bench. "Charlie would never do this Terry. I may not have seen how much pain he was in, but I know my little brother. I watched him grow up and I know how his mind works. He would never purposely take his own life. He would revert to that damned equation or lock himself away in the solarium or in the garage or even his room but he would _NEVER_ kill himself."

Terry rested her hand on Don's arm and looked closely at her partner. "I agree. There is something else going on here." Don let out a breath that he hadn't even realized he had been holding. He was surprised by her words because he had expected her to try and convince him that he needed to be realistic and follow the evidence.

"All right, Terry, if he is making all of these arrangements but he isn't planning on killing himself, then what _is_ he doing?"

Terry thought about the scenario for a moment. "Did your father say that he has been having headaches?" Don furrowed his brow but nodded affirmation. "And then the Dean said the same thing, correct? Larry mentioned that he spoke of seeing a doctor."

Don suddenly looked up as if a light went off and the pieces fell into place. He pulled out his cell phone and speed dialed his father. "Come on, Dad, pick up." After a moment he said "Dad, it's Don. I need to ask you something. I'm on my way there but if you hear this first, call me on my cell."

Don got up and headed back to the office at a quick pace with Terry following along. "Why would someone who wasn't planning a suicide put their affairs in order?"

The color drained from Terry's face and she said, "You mean you think Charlie is sick, maybe even dying."

Don stopped abruptly and turned to face his partner. "That isn't exactly what I was thinking. It occurred to me that Charlie was overreacting to something that a doctor had told him." Don turned back toward the FBI garage thinking as he walked. He was exhausted both physically and emotionally. Would his logical brother overreact to this degree? He had shown a flare for the dramatic early in life but Don had to admit that Charlie's logical mind typically won out over emotions. Usually that was the case, but with the anniversary of their mother's death, Charlie could easily be reacting too emotionally to something that the doctor told him.

When Don and Terry reached his car he got in and sat staring out the windshield. "What is it, Don?" He didn't seem to hear her. His brow furrowed as he seemed to be struggling with some internal battle. "Don!"

Finally he turned his head to look at her. "It didn't occur to me that Charlie might really be...  
He would have told us. How could that be, Terry? How could Charlie find out that he is..." Don simply could not bring himself to say the words. He looked more disturbed now than when he was seeing a suicidal pattern to Charlie's actions. "How could he not tell me or Dad? No, Terry, that can't be it. I think that he may have a problem, but because of Mom he is blowing it all out of proportion. That's **_got_** to be it, Terry. You know how sensitive Charlie can be. With the anniversary of Mom's death, he must have just gone a little off the deep end."

Terry listened to Don quietly. He looked at her hopefully, wanting her to agree with him as she had done in the park. "It's possible, Don, but who are you trying to convince?" She almost winced at the disappointment in his eyes. He desperately wanted her to tell him that Charlie was fine and just overreacting.

Don's eyes grew stony and he said, "Call Jack and tell him that we are going to see Dad to check and see what doctor Charlie would have gone to and what the doctor may have told him." His tone was so cold and businesslike that she waited a moment to pull out her cell phone. Don turned his eyes back to the front and drove out of the parking garage without looking at Terry or even acknowledging her presence in his vehicle.

They had only gotten a block from the office when Terry said, "Turn around Don. Your father is at the office."

Don was startled out of his brooding by this statement. "What?"

Terry smiled encouragingly at Don and said, "He turned up right after you walked out. He is with Jack right now."

Don turned right and went around the block and within ten minutes he and Terry were walking into the squad room. Don slowed as he entered and felt his heart sink at the sight of his father's face. A terrible sadness consumed his features as he stared at the large white board with Charlie's smiling picture on top and the timeline below.

Terry hung back and the other agents that were in the room instinctively gave the two men some space. Don stepped up to his father quietly and put his arm around the older man's shoulders. "I may not be an FBI agent but you don't have to be a genius to see a pattern to the things that your brother has been doing." He pointed helplessly at the time line before him. "Why would he do all of these things?" Alan turned toward Don and spoke with resolve in his voice. "You have to find him, Donnie. I can't lose him, not like this, not so soon..."

Alan seemed to shrink as the resolve melted out of his voice. Don squeezed his father's shoulders and said. "I will find him Dad. This…" he pointed to the board "… is an incomplete picture. This doesn't necessarily mean what it looks like."

Alan suddenly seemed as tired as Don felt. He needed to sit down. Neither Don nor Alan saw who had put a chair right next to them but as his father started to lose the strength in his legs Don gently seated him so that he wouldn't fall.

Don was squatting down in front of his father holding his hands while the older man pulled himself together. "I'm sorry, Donnie, I didn't mean to embarrass you at work. It's just...  
When I see what Charlie has been doing..." Alan glanced back at the white board and the sadness in his eyes deepened.

"Dad, you didn't embarrass me." Alan was still looking at the timeline and Don gently turned his head so that they were looking at each other. "Dad, Larry said that Charlie had seen a doctor about his headaches. Do you know who he would go to see or what he was told?"

"Charlie mentioned to me the he went to the doctor as well. I would imagine that he went to see Dr. Spector. I think he is the only doctor Charlie has ever gone to."

Don turned to Jack. "We need to pay a visit to Dr. Hiram Spector; he is our family physician."

"I am going with you." Alan said, as he stood.

Jack stepped up and looked Mr. Eppes in the eye and said, "I'm sorry, Mr. Eppes, but you cannot accompany us on an official investigation. You shouldn't even be here right now."

Alan looked as though he were getting ready to strenuously protest and Don cut in. "Jack's right, Dad." Don understood better than his father realized how difficult it was to just sit around and do nothing. "You can help us, Dad. We have all of Charlie's journals here. Look through them, maybe there is something someone missed, an entry that would tell us where Charlie would go if he were scared or upset."

Alan looked torn for a moment as if he were still going to argue the point. "All right, Don. You go see Dr. Spector and I'll start reading Charlie's journals, but if you find out anything you call me right away." Alan said that last in a tone that suggested that there would be hell to pay if he didn't.

_Friday 2:30 PM - 31 Hours Missing  
_Don and Jack entered Dr. Spector's office and walked up to the receptionist showing their badges. "We need to speak with Dr. Spector about a patient of his." Jack said.

"Oh, I'm terribly sorry gentlemen, Dr. Spector is out of town until Monday. Is there anything that I can help you with?"

Don smiled warmly at the young woman and spoke in gentle tones, hoping that it would make her more willing to divulge information that would otherwise be considered privileged. He was in no mood to get the same response from this office that they had gotten from the lawyers. "Can you tell us if Charles Eppes has been in to see the doctor lately?"

The receptionist was smiling back at Don but her smile faltered at his question. "Oh, I'm not sure I can give you that information."

Don wasn't willing to give up so easily however and switched tactics. He allowed his smile to fade as he pulled out his badge again and showed her his last name. "Miss, I know that you are only doing your job. You see, Charlie is my brother and he's missing. I'm very worried about him and we are just trying to find him. I can't wait until Monday to find out what you could tell me right now." Don had a look of genuine worry in his eyes that she responded to.

"Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. If you would wait right here I'll pull his chart and see what I can find out for you." The receptionist got up and headed for a locked door at the back of the office.

After about ten minutes she re-emerged with a pensive look on her face. She didn't come back to the desk however, but turned into another office that bore the name Hiram Spector. After another ten minutes she came from the doctor's office and straight up to Don.

"Mr. Eppes, would you please follow me, sir?" Don and Jack exchanged confused looks but obediently followed the young woman. She led them into Dr. Spector's office and indicated that they should have a seat. She went to the phone and picked it up, pressing a button before saying, "Dr. Spector? I have Don Eppes here for you." Then she turned and handed the phone to Don.

"Hello, Dr. Spector?" There was a pause and then Don said, "Charlie went missing yesterday. I found out that he has been having headaches and came to see you about them. Doctor he has done some alarming things over the last few days, like drawing up a Will and adding our father as a beneficiary to his life insurance policy. All of the signs point to... Well, it looks bad. Doctor what did you tell Charlie? Why is he so scared?"

As Jack watched Don, the color drained from his face and he slumped in his chair. "When did he find this out?" he asked in a shaky voice. After a moment Don pulled out his pad and jotted down a name but his hands were shaking so badly that he was having some difficulty writing. After another minute Don thanked the doctor and hung up the phone. He dropped the pad and put his hands over his face leaning forward to rest his elbows on his knees.

"Don?"

"Oh, God, Charlie, why didn't you tell me?" he whispered to himself.

"What is it Don? Do you know where Charlie is?" Don looked up and what Jack saw in the younger man's eyes made his stomach turn in a knot. Jack shook his head and said, "What is it?"


	6. Chapter 6

_**A/N -** Thank you everyone for such nice reviews. They are very much appreciated. Sorry about the cliff hanger. Chapter six isn't a cliff hanger which is good because the holiday weekend is upon us. I won'tbe able to post Chapter Seven probably until Sunday. We have a lot going on here in the next two days.  
I want to thank Elaine Battersby from the CalSci Library. She is the most wonderful beta on the planet and has gone a long way to helping me put this story in an easy to read format. (my punctuation and grammar leave a bit to be desired he he he)_

_Please enjoy your weekend and thank you again for the reviews. It makes doing this worth it.  
Love, Alice I_

**Chapter Six**

Don took a few minutes to find his voice before he could answer Jack's question. "Charlie came to see Dr. Spector on Tuesday about the headaches, blurred vision and weakness on his right side. The doctor ordered a Cat Scan and they found a large brain tumor." Don's throat constricted and his voice faded. After a moment he continued, "Dr. Spector, sent him to a specialist in cancerous brain lesions." Don eyes grew glassy as he fought for control. "He specifically told Dr. Spector not to tell anyone. He didn't want us to know! How could he do that? Why didn't he tell us? Why would he want to face this alone?"

That last question hung in the air, and as soon as he said it, Don knew exactly why Charlie had kept this from his family. Suddenly everything made sense. Charlie had told the cab driver that it was his turn. He had left his mother's side when she was facing her death and he felt unbearably guilty about that. Charlie's breakdown on the day of the service for their mother made perfect sense now. "He found out that he had brain cancer on the anniversary of Mom's death! Jack, she died of cancer." Don looked stricken and lost. "I can't go through this again. Dad can't go through this again."

The receptionist, who had left the room, stepped back in with a cup of cold water. She gave it to Don with a look of sincere sympathy on her face. "If there is anything that I can do Mr. Eppes..."

Don looked at her, wanting her to tell him that it had all been a terrible mistake; that she had gotten the charts mixed up and that it was someone else's little brother who was dying from this horrible disease that had nearly destroyed his life only a year ago.

Jack picked up the notebook that Don had dropped and handed it to her. "Could you please get us a phone number and address for whom ever this is." She looked at the pad and could see that it was the name of the specialist that Charlie had been referred to. She took the pad and left quietly. Jack stood up and placed a hand on Don's shoulder. "Don, I'm so sorry. Take a few minutes to get it together; then we'll go see this specialist." Don just nodded mutely and Jack left the office, closing the door quietly behind him.

All of the feelings that Don had forced under a tight control when his mother was dying started to bubble to the surface. He felt himself beginning to shake and tried in vain to stop the flood of fear and grief that was churning in his heart. He stood up to leave, but after only two steps his knees buckled and he dropped to the floor, kneeling. The image of his brother lying peacefully in a coffin pushed its way into his mind. It was more than he could bear as he rocked back on his heels and buried his face in his hands. Don sat there, on the floor of Dr. Spector's office, struggling for control over the torrent of emotions battering him. He began to shake violently as those emotions threatened to engulf him. Then a strong voice shouted in his mind, "STOP THIS! You still need to find Charlie!" Don looked up as if he had actually heard that voice. He felt lethargic and drained all of a sudden, but he stood up and looked around.

There was a door behind the doctor's desk, and when he opened it he was relieved to find a small bathroom. He washed his face and ran his hands through his disheveled hair straightening it a bit. He re-adjusted his tie and studied himself carefully for a moment. His eyes were betraying the torment he felt, so he dug into his jacket pocket and pulled out his sun glasses. He took a deep breath and looked at his reflection in the mirror, concentrating on purposely shutting down all of his emotions and allowing his training to take over. It was time to let Special Agent Don Eppes take the place of Donnie. He would find his brother and he would not allow emotion to rule his actions. "I am in control! I am a trained FBI Agent and it is my job to close this case." he told his reflection.

When Don came out of Dr. Spector's office he looked very much the part of a highly trained composed FBI Agent. The receptionist touched the back of his hand gently and said, "I hope you find him, Mr. Eppes." Don nodded to her and thanked her for her assistance before stiffly leaving the office. Somewhat taken aback by his abrupt change in behavior, she stared after him, bewildered.

Jack could see the difference in Don and admired him for it, but knew that he was still dealing with devastating news about his little brother. "Would you like me to drive?"

Don turned his head and shook it. "Do you have an address for Dr. Heising?"

"He has an office at Cedars Sinai on the fourth floor." Don nodded his understanding and got in the car. Jack knew better than to try and engage him in a dialogue about this. He recognized that Don had carefully erected an airtight emotional barrier and was in full professional mode. Jack, himself, had done this on several occasions, and to some degree still did. Trying to get Don to open up and express his feelings would be counter-productive to their goal of finding Charlie. There would be time for that later.

_Friday 3:30 PM - 32 Hours Missing  
_David walked up to Terry quickly, holding a long computer printout. "We got Charlie's credit activity. He purchased some medication at a Pasadena Walgreens on Wednesday afternoon, and paid for it with his credit card."

Terry looked up and grabbed her coat. "Let's go. We'll give Don a call once we find out what he purchased."

Alan saw their sudden movements and got up quickly. "What is it Terry? Did you find him?"

The hopeful look in the older man's eyes stopped her for a moment. "I'm sorry Mr. Eppes. We just have a lead to follow up. Charlie made a purchase at the Walgreens near your home Wednesday. We are just going to find out what he bought. It could tell us something about where he went."

Alan looked so disappointed that Terry stepped up to him, and kissed him gently on the cheek. "We'll find him, I promise." Her action startled him, but it also helped to ease the tightness in his chest. He knew that she meant every word, and would not rest until Charlie was found. He sat back down and picked up the journal that he had been reading.

He had never been told, by either of the boys, what all of the hullabaloo about him going downtown to work at the shelter was, nearly six weeks ago. As he read about the released outbreak of the Spanish flu, he felt himself pale a little. He privately vowed from then on that if his sons gave him any veiled reasons not to do something, he would simply listen to them. When he got to the passage about the victims reminding Charlie of his mother, Alan felt a deep sadness for the pain that his son was feeling. He was forcibly reminded of what Charlie had said Tuesday afternoon when his son cried in his arms.

_'I'll be strong enough Mom, I promise.'_

_Friday 4:00 PM - 32 ½ Hours Missing  
_Terry and David got to the Pharmacy by 4:00 and asked to speak with the pharmacist. They showed him their badges and explained that they needed to see what Charlie had picked up on Wednesday. Fortunately, their badges had provided enough assurance for the beleaguered pharmacist not to give them any flack about privileged information, and he obligingly pulled up Charlie's name on the computer screen. "Mr. Eppes picked up two prescriptions, one for Dilantin and one for Prednisone." Terry looked stunned by this information while David didn't have any idea what the medications were for.

At David's questioning look Terry said, "Prednisone is a steroid that has several different applications, but as far as I know Dilantin is only used for one purpose: to control seizures."

The pharmacist said, "That is correct, young lady, and if it is being used with Prednisone, my guess is that the steroid is being used to decrease inflammation, probably in the brain."

Terry felt the skin crawl on the back of her neck. "Who prescribed this medication?"

The pharmacist clicked on each prescription and waited for a name to appear. "They were both prescribed by a Doctor Samuel Heising. I am unfamiliar with his name, so I couldn't tell you what his specialty is. Would you like a printout of this?"

As soon as Terry and David got back to the car Terry dialed Don's cell. "Don, Charlie picked up two prescriptions on Wednesday. One for a steroid, probably to reduce inflammation, and an anti-seizure medication called Dilantin. They were prescribed by..."

"Dr. Samuel Heising," Don finished for her. "Jack and I are on our way to see him right now. He has an office at Cedars."

"Don, what did you find out? How did you know about Dr. Heising?"

Don didn't answer right away. Terry heard him take a short breath as if trying to remain calm. When he did speak it was with an emotionally detached voice. "I spoke with, Dr. Spector, our family physician. Charlie was referred to Heising by him because of a brain tumor that he discovered."

Terry went white and whispered, "Oh God, Don. Have you called your father?" David looked sharply at Terry but didn't interrupt.

"Telling Dad anything until we have a more complete picture would just upset him. Once we speak with Dr. Heising, we'll meet back at the office."

Terry frowned at the phone. Don was speaking very coldly about this. "Don, are you all right?"

"I'll call once we have finished with Heising." Don closed the phone and pocketed it without looking at Jack. They were almost at Cedars Sinai.

_Friday 4:30 PM - 33 Hours Missing  
_When the agents stepped into Dr. Heising's office and showed their badges, the receptionist looked slightly disconcerted. It certainly was not a normal thing to have two federal agents come into the office. Jack asked to speak with Dr. Heising, but much to the frustration of both agents he was in surgery.

"When do you expect him to be done?" Don asked in a level tone.

The receptionist felt even more uncomfortable now, and replied that she had no real way of knowing that. "Every surgery is different, sir. Sometimes it can take quite a while. You are welcome to wait, and I'll get a message to the doctor that you are here to speak with him, but it might be a long wait." Don thanked her and turned to take a seat in the waiting room.

Jack was starting to get a little concerned by Don's behavior. He sat down next to him and spoke quietly. "Don, perhaps we should have the doctor contact us when he is done with the surgery."

Don turned his face toward Jack who couldn't see his eyes because he still had sun glasses on. In a cold and expressionless voice Don said, "I will wait. You can go back to the office if you want to."

Jack understood how Don was feeling, but he had no intention of leaving him alone to wait for this doctor. As it turned out, they had sat there in silence for just over an hour before a weary-looking, middle-aged man dressed in scrubs came in. He spoke briefly with his receptionist, who pointed nervously at Don and Jack, before approaching the agents seated in his waiting room.

"Good evening, gentlemen. I have been told that you have an urgent matter that you need to discuss with me, concerning a patient of mine."

Don stood up and removed his glasses. He extended his hand and said, "Thank you for meeting with us, Doctor. I am Special Agent Don Eppes, with the FBI, and this is Special Agent Jack Malone. Is there someplace that we can speak privately?"

The doctor nodded, and led them into his office. He made sure that the door was closed before turning to the federal agents. "You said that your name was Eppes. Is this about Charles Eppes?"

Don said, "Charlie is my brother, Doctor, and he has been missing since yesterday morning. Through our investigation we have found out that he has been seen by you because he has a brain tumor." Don's voice was calm, but Jack could hear the tight control that the younger man was using to keep it steady.

Dr. Heising could also see the effort that this man was employing to keep a professional façade in place. He had given the worst kind of bad news to patients and their families for so many years that he had become an expert in detecting the characteristic stress response that Don was trying so desperately to hide.

"Your brother is, indeed, a patient of mine. I am very disturbed to hear that he is missing. Ordinarily I wouldn't be able to speak with you concerning his case, but his health and even his life may depend on you finding him quickly. You must know that Mr. Eppes was very explicit about not discussing his situation with his family. This is a position that I strongly disagreed with. I urged him strenuously to talk about this with his family, but he was adamant."

The doctor went to his files and pulled out the one labeled Charles Eppes. "Your brother is scheduled to undergo surgery on Monday morning." He pulled a small disk from the folder and placed it in a machine that would display Charlie's diagnostic records on a large screen perched on the side of the desk. The doctor indicated that the men should take a seat while he searched the disk for the appropriate file. The screen flickered for a moment before an image of a CT displayed.

"This scan of your brother was taken on Tuesday morning." The doctor pointed to a large white area in the brain. "This area is the tumor that was discovered."

Don blanched at the image. The area that the doctor showed them was enormous to Don's eyes. It was easily a fifth of the size of Charlie's brain. It looked like an overly large and lopsided grapefruit.

Dr. Heising knew that, to an untrained eye, this tumor looked hopeless. "I believe that this is a Meningioma. It is a type of brain tumor that is typically benign. Meningiomas are one of the most common primary brain tumors, and in ninety-four percent of cases, these tumors are non-cancerous. Only two percent of these tumors show malignant characteristics and four percent reveal aggressive or atypical features."

Don followed most of what the doctor had said, but asked, "If this tumor is benign, then why does Charlie need to have surgery so quickly? For that matter how do you know that this thing…" Don said, pointing to the screen "…is a mengy… whatever kind of tumor?" Don didn't mean to sound brusque or to question this doctor's medical opinion, but the strain of the last couple of hours was mounting.

Doctor Heising did not take offense to Don's questioning, but rather spoke in a calming voice. "Brain tumors are typically named after the cells from which they develop. Your brother's tumor has arisen from the middle layer of the brain covering, called the meninges. Most benign brain tumors have clear borders, meaning they do not invade surrounding tissue. That is clearly seen on this scan."

The doctor took a small pointer and traced the borders of the tumor which were easy to see. The tumor just seemed to be pushing against Charlie's brain as if trying to squeeze it out of the confined space within his skull.

"These tumors can, however, cause symptoms similar to cancerous tumors because of their size and location. Charlie showed a sudden onset of symptoms, and this tumor has grown rapidly, giving it atypical attributes. Meningiomas normally grow very slowly and can exist for years before the patient is even aware of them. This is not the case with Charlie. Considering your family history, I felt that it was necessary to operate immediately. I will not know for sure whether this tumor is malignant or benign until I can perform a biopsy of the tissue."

Don was frowning and shaking his head "What symptoms is he having that lead you to believe that this is not one of those in the ninety-four percent range?"

"The recent onset of weakness in his right side is a serious indication. That, coupled with his blurred vision, headaches and vomiting, also recent occurrences, sent up enough warning flags for me to feel the need to attack this very aggressively. The fact that he had a parent die of cancer, only a year previously, is also another very strong indicator for a swift response."

Jack sat forward and said, "During our investigation we discovered that you prescribed two medications for Charlie, a steroid and an anti-seizure medication. When Charlie was seen by you, did he indicate that he was having seizures?"

Dr. Heising sat back in his chair. "The steroid is Prednisone. That's to help with the inflammation in his brain. The first symptoms of a brain tumor are usually due to increased pressure within the skull. This is typically caused by a blockage in the ventricles which leads to swelling around the tumor. This raised intracranial pressure is what is causing the headaches, nausea and the blurred vision. The Dilantin is a precautionary measure. Many times when a tumor reaches the size of this one, the patient can begin to experience seizure activity. The dose of Dilantin is an extremely mild one, and strictly as a preventative measure."

Don's head was spinning with all of this information, but he abruptly remembered what Charlie's student had said about Charlie spacing out. "Doctor, one of Charlie's students told us that he sort of spaced out while teaching a couple of weeks ago. Could that have something to do with this tumor?"

The doctor sat forward very interested, and asked Don to elaborate. Jack pulled out his notebook and flipped back a few pages until he found the right spot. Then he repeated almost word for word what Mark had told them in Charlie's office that morning. "What you have described sounds like an absence seizure, more commonly referred to as a petit mal seizure. This is serious, and unexpected. Petit mal seizures usually occur in children rather than adults and their appearance in association with this tumor is unanticipated. It means that his symptoms have progressed further than I was aware of."

Don was struggling to understand what he was being told about his brother and asked, "If Charlie is having seizures shouldn't someone have noticed? I mean how can you hide a seizure?"

"It is entirely possible that Charlie may not even be aware that he has been having absence seizures, if indeed, he _is_ having them. In a typical petit mal seizure, a brief, sudden absence of consciousness occurs. There may not be any movement at all, only what appears to be staring. Absence seizures generally last only a few seconds, and full recovery is almost instant. Afterward, there is no confusion, but also no memory of the incident. These seizures may occur for weeks or months, before an adult even notices them because they're so brief."

Don tried to recall how many time he had seen Charlie staring off into space, seemingly oblivious to anything else. This was such a common occurrence with Charlie that Don began to wonder how long he had been having these seizures. "How long do one of these seizures last, Doctor?"

"Anywhere from five to thirty seconds, but there have been cases of them lasting up to a minute or two. Usually if an absence seizure lasts longer than one or two minutes they are often accompanied by automatisms or repetitive movements such as lip smacking, chewing, picking, fumbling or patting. These automatisms would be noticed because they are usually inappropriate activities during the onset of a seizure. If Charlie is having absence seizures, then Dilantin is not the choice of medication I would have used."

Jack spoke up then, and was quite surprised by the slight catch in his own voice. "Doctor, you mentioned that the tumor looked benign on the scan. How common is it for one of these things to become malignant? And if that is the case, with Charlie, how much time does he have?"

"It is very rare for a benign tumor to become malignant. The thing that concerns me is the fact that unlike benign tumors in most other parts of the body, benign brain tumors can be life-threatening. They do not infiltrate nearby tissue, but they can cause severe pain, permanent brain damage, and death. You need to find him as quickly as possible."

All the color drained from Don's face at this statement. When he and Jack made their way out to the car Don didn't even think about driving. He went to the passenger side of the car and got in without saying a word. At this point he simply didn't trust himself to speak. The flood of emotions that he was barely keeping contained under the surface were threatening to explode, but a rather strong voice in his mind told him that an emotional outburst at this point would do Charlie no good.


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter Seven**

_Friday 8:30 PM - 37 Hours Missing  
_By the time Jack and Don had returned to the office, Don felt as though he had been run over several times by a large bulldozer. As soon as Alan saw his older son, he was immediately concerned. Don looked terrible, and Jack silently communicated to the rest of the team to give the two of them some space. Jack led the team into a small conference room, adjacent to the central hub of the squad room, to brief them on what they had discovered about Charlie.

Terry was careful to position herself so that she could see Don, who walked slowly up to his father. He looked so worn and defeated that her heart sank. She feared the worst, and found that her fears were realized as Jack began to recount their interviews with both of the doctors that Charlie had seen. As she listened to Jack detail the circumstances of Charlie's medical condition, she watched Don grasp his father's shoulders and speak directly to him. Alan raised his hands to his mouth and began shaking. After a moment the two men embraced. She could almost feel the overwhelming sadness that they were feeling, as she listened to Jack describe the brain tumor that had been discovered. Don gently led his father to a chair and continued to speak quietly to him. Her attention was brought back to the briefing as Jack asked her a question that she didn't quite hear. "I'm sorry Jack, what did you say?"

"I asked, if you had any insight as to where a brain tumor patient experiencing absence seizures might go? Is it possible that the tumor is affecting Charlie's behavior in such a way that he would begin to do things that are out of character for him?"

"That is possible, Jack. I am not as familiar with the behavior of brain tumor patients, as with other psychological disorders, but I do know that some tumor patients can have a complete change in their personality." Just then a thought occurred to her. "Has anyone been to his mother's grave?"

Jack looked surprised for a second then said, "Good thinking, Terry. I should have thought of that myself. Do you know where it is?" When she nodded he turned to David. "You and Terry check that out, and call if you find any sign that he has been there. It's getting dark so take flashlights and look for bicycle tire tracks."

Terry frowned in thought for a moment before addressing the team again. "It is also possible that he has suffered a catastrophic memory loss. This is something that can happen with brain tumors. I don't know what part of his brain is being affected by this tumor, but if he doesn't remember who he is, he could have ended up in a shelter or be on the street living among the homeless."

Jack nodded his understanding. "Danny and I are not familiar with this aspect of LA, so we need to split into two teams. Agent Blum, you go with Danny, and Agent McGrail, you come with me. We need to start looking for Charlie in shelters, subway stations, underground tunnels or anywhere else where there are a large number of homeless. According to Doctor Heising, Charlie is a ticking time bomb and we need to find him, and get him to the hospital as quickly as possible."

David looked out the window of the conference room at Don and his father. "What about Don?"

"Don hasn't slept in almost two days and the strain is getting to him. I'm going to order him to go home with his father for the night." Jack turned and looked at the team, until he had everyone's undivided attention. "I know that you are all tired, and have gotten precious little sleep yourselves, but Don just got some devastating news about his kid brother. I don't think that looking through the LA area's transient population will improve his stress level at this point, and he is going to be of little use to us until he has gotten a couple of hours of rest." The nods all around told Jack that these people understood his decision. They had all taken turns catching a few minutes sleep here and there over the last two days, and it wasn't their loved one who was out there.

David grabbed his jacket and turned to Jack. "Terry and I will call from the cemetery if we find anything. If we don't, we will start at the shelter downtown by Grand Central Station. Don and Charlie's father volunteers there from time to time. He may have instinctively headed there."

As the team filed out of the conference room, Terry and Jack approached Don and Alan. They both looked the worse for wear, and it was clear that Alan had shed some tears. Jack looked at Don for a moment before speaking. "Go get some rest Don; we can handle things for a while."

Don just stood there staring at Jack as though he didn't understand what Jack had just said. "Are you telling me to go home?"

"Look, Don, you're dead on you're feet. Right now there isn't much you can do. Get some rest so that you're fresh. Falling down because you're exhausted won't do Charlie any good. You need to trust the team to keep things moving in the right direction."

Alan had recovered from the initial shock of finding out about Charlie's tumor, and put his hand on Don's shoulder. "Mr. Malone is right. You're not going to be any help to Charlie by getting sick."

Somewhere deep inside, Don recognized that Jack and his father were right; but Dr. Heising's words echoed in his mind, making him resist their suggestion. "I can't just quit, Jack! I have to find him. I have to tell him..." Don stopped short and turned away from them. He walked over to the window and stared out into the darkening sky. "It's going to be cold tonight."

Terry stepped up to Don and took hold of his hand. She didn't say anything. She just stood close to him, offering support. Don refused to look anywhere but at the sky outside the window and when he spoke it was through a tightly controlled voice. "He wants to be my friend. He said that in one of his journals. How could he not know?" Don felt his control slipping and he took a breath to quiet the torrent of emotions boiling just under the surface. He realized that if he didn't get a little sleep, he would do exactly what Jack had suggested. He would fall flat on his face. The fact that he was having so much difficulty keeping his emotions under control was evidence of that. Don turned away from the window and said to Jack, "I'll go home with Dad, but you have to promise to call me if you turn up any new leads."

Jack nodded. "I will call."

Don started for the door with his father, not looking back. Once they were out in the parking garage Alan said, "Don, you really _do_ look dead on your feet. Leave your car, I'll drive." Don knew that his father had probably not gotten much sleep either, but he was too tired to argue the point. He just turned and followed his father to his car.

As they drove back to Pasadena, Alan kept glancing over at Don, feeling his concern growing. His eldest son was more than tired. Alan feared that Don had begun to lose hope. His eyes were empty and filled with a despondency that was a little frightening. Alan knew that telling Don that they _would_ find Charlie wasn't going to dispel his fears, and hoped that some sleep would do for him what words could not.

_Friday 9:30 PM - 38 Hours Missing  
_By the time Alan pulled into the driveway it was dark out and, as Don had predicted, it was quite chilly. Don walked reflexively into the house and flopped down on the sofa, covering his face with his hands as questions burned just behind his eyes. _'How did this all happen? Why wouldn't Charlie want to be comforted by his family? What did I do to drive him away?'_ The emotions that he had kept so tightly under control broke free. Before he was even aware of it, he leaned forward and began to cry.

Alan, who had been watching Don closely, sat down next to him and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. Alan didn't try to soothe his son's crying or stop him in any way. He knew that Don needed this release but wanted to offer him support and comfort.

After a few minutes Don stopped and sat back against the couch, exhausted. "I don't know where to look next, Dad. What if I can't find him before…  
How can I live the rest of my life without him?"

"Donnie, I want to tell you something that I have never shared with anyone else. When your mother died, I stopped talking to God."

Don, who had been staring up at the ceiling, frowned and sat up, looking at his father. "You did?"

"I was so angry and hurt. I felt betrayed. How could he take her from me and from you boys? I was supposed to spend my retirement years _with_ her, not mourning her. I couldn't comprehend a God who was so cruel, so I decided to stop believing in him. I lost my faith, Donnie. Once that happened I became an empty shell. I lost interest in everyone and everything. Then one day, months later, as I sat in that chair over there thinking about her, I became so angry that I threw our wedding album through the bay window."

Alan let that sink in for a moment. He had told Don and Charlie that the window had been broken when a ladder slipped and hit it. Don looked over at the window, genuinely surprised by this admission. "I remember yelling up at the sky, 'Why? How could you do this to me?' Before I realized what I was doing, it dawned on me that I was talking to God again. Well, in actuality I was screaming at him, but the point is I had acknowledged his presence in my life again. So I kept on screaming at him, then crying to him and finally talking to him. I realized that, somehow, I hadn't really lost my faith after all. When I look into your eyes, son, I see your fear for Charlie, but you haven't lost him. Don't lose your faith, Donnie. You _must_ believe that we will find him. Without that belief, you rob yourself of the ability to find him, because it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Charlie _needs_ you to believe, Donnie, he _needs_ you to have faith that you will find him."

Don sat stunned by what his father had said. It made sense to him, and the dark hopelessness that had begun to fill his heart lifted somewhat. He looked out the front window into the night and whispered to himself almost as though reciting a mantra, "I will find him. I will not abandon him to despair. I will not let him down." Don turned to face his father, and to Alan's great relief the hollow look had left his eyes.

"Donnie, you need to get some rest. I'll make us a couple of cups of herbal tea." Alan squeezed Don's shoulder as he rose to go to the kitchen. Ten minutes later when he came back to the living room with two cups of tea, Don was sound asleep on the couch. Alan covered him with a blanket, and then sat down in his recliner to drink his tea and watch his son sleep.

88888888888

Don found himself looking out at a bright sunny morning. He strapped on a helmet and readjusted the satchel he had across his shoulders as he climbed onto his bike. As he started out of the driveway he looked back at the house and saw his father watching him pedal away, from the kitchen window. The breeze was cool on his face as he rode down the street. The east end of campus was not a very long ride, only about fifteen minutes. As he rode past Braddocks Ravine and looked down the wooded steep slope, he felt a slight tingling in his stomach. He looked back at the path he was riding on and focused on the university in the distance. Just around that bend ahead he would see the tall clock tower by the library. Suddenly Don felt his stomach lurch as if he were falling. He let out a short yelp and spread his arms to try to break his fall.

Don sat up panting hard in the dimly-lit living room. He was disoriented and didn't understand where he was or how he had gotten there. Alan, who had also fallen asleep in the recliner, woke to Don's yell.

"Donnie? What's wrong?"

Don turned to his father's voice and shook his head trying to clear it. His heart was thumping in his chest and he could hear his pulse in his ears. Slowly the fog began to lift from his mind as he woke up. He had been sent home with his father to get some rest. He hadn't slept in nearly two days because Charlie had gone missing. Charlie! "Oh God, Charlie! Dad, I know where he is! I know where Charlie is!"


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N -** I hope everyone had a lovely Holiday weekend. Thank you kindly for the reviews, it really is nice for an author to know whether or not folks like what is being put up out there. Enjoy this chapter. Chapters nine and ten are currently going through final revisions and editing so they will be forthcoming soon.

**Chapter Eight**

Don got up quickly and almost fell forward. The adrenalin pumping through him, coupled with waking suddenly out of a sound sleep, was enough to throw his equilibrium off momentarily.

"Donnie!"

Don straightened up and took a second to gather his senses. "I'm all right, Dad, I just got up too fast." He looked around, still slightly disoriented, trying to find his phone. He looked down and noticed that his shoes were off. He didn't remember taking them off.

"Where is he?"

The urgency in his father's voice brought Don back to himself. "Braddocks Ravine…  
…Dad, where are my shoes?"

Alan was frowning at Don trying to understand what he was on to. "Braddocks Ravine?" Alan saw Don looking under the coffee table and crossed the room. He had removed Don's shoes and set them aside after he had fallen asleep.

Don spied his cell on the table and snatched it up. He hit Jack's number on speed dial and impatiently paced while waiting for the line to connect. Alan brought Don's shoes over to him, anxious to ask where Charlie was, but held his tongue as Don began speaking frantically into the phone.

"Jack, I know where Charlie is! He's in Braddocks Ravine. He left Thursday morning to go to Larry's office at Cal Sci. Well, Larry's office is on the east end of campus. Charlie told me once that he would often ride by the ravine when he wasn't going directly to the math building. He has been trying to master a fear of heights when he tries to go rock climbing. Jack, if he had one of those seizures, where he spaces out, he could have ridden right over the edge!"

Alan, who had been holding Don's shoes, dropped them as his hands went numb. "Dear, God!" Then he stepped over to the front closet and pulled out his jacket as Don was giving directions to Jack.

"Have David find some search lights. It's going to be very dark in that ravine. Oh, and have Terry to get a bunch of radios, so we can communicate with each other."

Jack was pleased to hear that Don was back. Whatever sleep he had gotten had worked wonders. He sounded a lot more like the star trainee he knew back at Quantico. Don sat down to put his shoes on as Alan searched for his car keys. He had been so focused on Don last night that he couldn't remember where he had put them down.

_Saturday 3:30 AM - 44 Hours Missing  
_Don and his father arrived at the head of the trail that ran along Braddocks Ravine within ten minutes of leaving the house. They knew it would take Jack and the others at least another twenty minutes to arrive.

Don was so certain that he was right about this that he was unwilling to wait. "Dad, stay here and wait for Jack and the others. I'm going to start down the trail." He reached into the car and grabbed the flashlight that he had thrown into the back before leaving the house.

"Donnie, please be careful. It's so dark down there; I don't want _you_ falling over the edge."

"I'll be fine, Dad," Don said, as he headed down the trail. He turned on the flash light and started looking for Charlie's tire tracks, but quickly realized that it was useless. This path was used by many bicyclists and runners. He stopped for a moment and closed his eyes thinking about his dream. After a moment or two he opened them again and shined the light at the edge of the trail as he walked along, trying to see if there were tracks that led off the path.

The trail edge was covered in medium tall grass and shrub making narrow bicycle tire tracks extremely difficult to see, especially in the dark. Don had picked up the pace a little while he was searching and had to force himself to calm down and move more slowly. He had walked nearly a quarter of a mile down the trail when he stopped and shined the light back the way he had come, then out in front of him. This portion of the trail was fairly straight, and there was little chance that Charlie had gone over the edge here. He needed to find a bend in the trail. The ravine was on his left as he faced the direction that Charlie would have been riding. If he rode off the trail into the ravine it would have happened at a bend that went off to the right. As Don stood, contemplating where Charlie might have ridden off the trail, he didn't hear Jack and the others approach.

"Did you get some rest, Don?" Terry asked as she walked up to him.

Don looked up, startled. "What? Oh, yeah, I did. Look, I've been thinking about this, and we need to search anywhere that the trail veers off to the right."

Jack, who was holding a large search light, turned it on and shined it down along the trail. "That would make the most sense." He turned to the team and said, "All right, we are looking for any indication of a bicycle going over the edge. Split into teams of two, and make your way down the trail, but no one is to attempt to go down into the ravine while it is still dark out." Jack walked over to the edge and, using the search light, looked down the slope. It wasn't particularly steep at first, but after about five yards, it dropped off sharply into blackness.

Alan had joined the search party and, taking one of the large lights, was going to pair off with Don. Jack handed the light he was holding to Terry and said, "Okay, Terry and David, head up to the first bend in the trail that you see. Don, I want you and your father to move ahead of them, to the next right bend. Blum and McGrail, start here and work your way up to the pairs in front of you. I have called in the LAPD to assist. They will be sending a couple of helicopters for aerial assistance. Danny, you and I will wait for them to coordinate the search. If anyone finds something radio back to me and I'll get the helicopters to mark your position from above. LA Search and Rescue (LASAR) have been alerted, and are assembling a search party the go into the ravine at daybreak."

Everyone nodded their understanding and moved off into the night. Alan, Don, Terry and David moved quickly down the path looking for the first bends in the trail. They were moving at a fairly quick pace and found the first bend about a quarter of a mile down. They all stopped and Terry handed the search light to David. "David, you shine the light and I'll search for tracks."

Don and his father moved ahead. At the next bend in the trail the path veered off to the left and Alan slowed slightly looking around. "We need to move further down, Dad." Alan nodded his understanding, and they moved off again. It was another quarter mile before they came to a rather sharp bend in the trail that turned to the right. They both stopped and Alan aimed the light down into the ravine. Here, the drop off was closer to the trail, and so steep that it was difficult to see the depth without going down into the gorge at least ten feet off the path. Alan shuddered as he thought about what would happen to someone who rode a bicycle off this edge.

"Dad, let me have that light."

Alan's arms were actually getting a little tired, holding the heavy light, and he willingly handed it over. Don took the light and went back down the trail the way they had come about thirty feet. Then he shined the light along the left side of the trail, moving it slowly. After about ten feet, he stopped and looked up ahead of him. Alan had moved off to the right side of the wide path so that he was not in Don's way. Don stood for a moment, trying to picture himself riding along toward the university. He aimed the light up the trail ahead of him in an attempt to see where a relatively straight line would lead him.

"Dad, I'm going to shine the light in front of me on the trail and move it straight up until it goes off the path. When the light comes to that point, I want you to stand in that spot marking it for me, okay?" Don started to move the light slowly up the path, then stopped when it hit the grass and brush on the left side. "Go to where the light is, but be careful where you step. I'm going to be looking for two day old tire tracks."

Alan moved over to where Don was shining the light but stayed on the actual path, rather than stepping into the grass on the side. "All right, Dad, stay there. I'll work my way up to you."

Don brought the light back to the edge of the trail directly in from of him, and again began moving slowly toward his father. There were a couple of places that he stopped to examine closely, where it looked as though a tire had left the path. In each case, he was either able to follow the track back to the trail, or found no further evidence of disturbance past where he lost the tire tracks. By the time that Don had made his way to the position his father was marking, he was so completely focused that he almost bumped right into Alan. Don stood up for a moment to stretch his back. He had been walking slowly up the trail hunched over, scrutinizing the ground carefully, and it had given him a crick in his lower back. "Dad, can you hold this light up a little over this area?"

Alan took the light from his son, who got down on his hands and knees looking over the ground carefully. He found what could have been tire tracks that led off the trail into the brush and tried to follow them. "Dad, see these? Give me a little more light, okay?"

Alan, who had been holding the light above the level of his head, brought it down to about waist level over Don's right shoulder. He could see the tire tracks that Don was pointing to. He felt his heart skip a beat when they seemed to head straight for the steep drop-off. Don followed them carefully, then sat back on his knees and sighed. "These are not from Charlie. Look, there are foot prints here, and see this where the earth is disturbed, there's a small hole. Someone got off their bike and stood here looking out over the ravine. The hole is where the kick stand rested. Hang on, let me see that light." Don stood up and aimed the light around, and it only took him a moment to find the faint impression of the tire tracks leading back onto the trail.

Terry and David caught up to Don and Alan as they made their way up the trail a little further. "Did you find something?" Terry asked anxiously.

"No. How about you?"

"Nothing that would suggest someone rode off the trail into that," Terry said pointing into the ravine.

Don rubbed his hand over his face and looked up at the night sky. It was actually beginning to lighten somewhat. "I know he's down there somewhere, Terry. We just have to keep looking."

They all turned at the sound of several people walking toward them up the trail. Jack was leading a group of LAPD officers, and called out to Don as they approached. "Don, have you found anything yet?" As Jack approached he didn't need to hear Don's reply, because he could see the frustration in the younger man's face. "We have positioned officers at intervals along the trail, and they are all searching for signs of tracks leading off into the ravine. It'll be light soon, and that should help our search tremendously. Two helicopters are on their way to help shed some light on the search."

Just as Jack said this, Don looked up at the sound of one of the helicopters headed their way. It was flying high enough up that the downdraft from its blades wouldn't cause too much disturbance in the grass and brush, but its powerful search light was illuminating the trail and the drop off into the ravine much more effectively than the hand held search lights could. Everyone fanned out again to continue the search and proceeded up the trail, which became far more winding as they went along. Alan had dropped back with one of the LAPD officers, while Don and Jack moved ahead to the next set of bends in the trail. Danny had stayed behind, to communicate with LASAR as the rescue teams began to gather.

_Saturday 6 AM - 47 Hours Missing  
_The sun was coming up, and making it easier to see down into the ravine. Don and Jack had abandoned the hand-held search lights. While Don continued to scan for tracks, Jack moved to the edge of the ravine, and was now searching for the bicycle itself down the steep slope. As they moved along the ravine, Jack noticed a torn piece of what looked like tan colored cloth, about fifteen feet down, clinging to a branch. "Don! I see some cloth! Check the trail edge over here."

Don, who was moving more slowly than Jack, jogged slightly to reach the point of the trail that Jack had indicated. He stooped down and searched the grass and brush closely. There were several impressions of bicycle tires along the trail itself, but after carefully scrutinizing the area, he did find a track that led sharply off the trail and into the grass. He stopped, and looked back down the trail, using his arm as a guide to see if the tread matched a roughly straight line. It seemed to, and he turned and tried to follow the tire impressions through the grass. He lost the impression about three feet from the edge of the trail. Again he used his arm to see where the tracks would have continued if there were no course changes, and found himself pointing into the ravine, near where Jack had seen the cloth. Don pulled out his radio and paged out, "Terry, David, come in. We've found something."

After a moment David answered, "Where are you, Don?"

Don looked over at the trail, and called back, "We are just north of marker 14. That would put us about two miles down from the head of the trail. Where is Dad? I need to know what Charlie was wearing the morning he disappeared."

After only a moment's pause Don heard his father's voice come on the radio. "Don, I'm here with David. Charlie was wearing the tan shirt that you got him for his birthday last year. Did you find him?"

"I don't know, Dad. Maybe, but we are going to have to go down into the ravine. We can't see his bike from up here."

"David and I are on our way to you."

Meanwhile, Jack had gotten on the radio with Danny, and told him send the LASAR team to marker 14, as Don started down into the ravine to get to the cloth hanging from the branch. It was difficult to reach when he got to the tree where it was dangling. As Don looked up at the cloth, he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand on end. It did look just like the cloth from the shirt he had gotten Charlie. He glanced back up the slope to the trail, and realized that if the cloth was from Charlie's shirt, he must have been traveling at a good clip when he went off the trail. He would have had to have been launched into the air in order to have this tree branch catch on his shirt.

"I can't reach that cloth, Jack. It could be from Charlie's shirt, but I'm not sure. If only there were some way to confirm that this is the place where he went over…"

Just then Don's cell phone rang. He dug into his pocket, annoyed by this untimely interruption. "Eppes!" Don said, a bit sharply into the phone. "Oh, Larry, sorry, right now is a really bad time. No, Dad's fine, he's with me. Look, Larry we may have found Charlie, I'll call you later."

Don hung up the phone and reached to put it back in his pocket, while still looking up at that elusive scrap of cloth. Suddenly a thought occurred to him. "That's it!" He hastily pulled out his phone again, but before dialing he looked up at Jack. David, Terry and his father had just arrived and were looking down into the ravine, as if hoping that they could see something from their vantage point.

The LASAR team was only steps behind David's group. "Everyone, be very quiet for a minute!" Don hit Charlie's cell number on his speed dial and held the phone down, listening to the still morning air. After a moment of not hearing anything, he glanced at the display on his phone to see if the connection had been made. "Damn it!" he shouted. "My battery just died!"

Jack pulled out his phone and tossed it to Don. "Try this one."

Don dialed the number, and this time watched the display, to make certain that the phone connected. Again, everyone waited in silence, straining their ears for the sound of a ring. Faintly, down the slope, Don heard the familiar tone of Charlie's cell phone, and let out the breath he had been holding. "He's down here!"

"Don, wait for LASAR!" Jack shouted as he began to climb down into the ravine.

Don paid no attention to Jack. He had heard him, but his baby brother had been down in this ravine for the last two days, and Don wasn't waiting for anyone. The slope was very steep and slippery with moldy leaves from the wet season, and Don slipped more than once. Luckily there were plenty of trees and small saplings to grab onto for support. '_…or to hit, on the way down,'_ Don thought to himself, as he quickened his pace. Nearly one hundred feet down the slope, Don saw something that caught his attention, and he made his way over to the familiar object. The strap of Charlie's school satchel was tangled in some brush. One end of it was torn right off the bag and the flap was hanging open. Several of the loose papers had slipped out, and were scattered down the hill. His cell phone was on the ground about three feet below the opened satchel along with a heavy manila envelope. Don looked down the slope further for a sign of his brother, but couldn't see past a drop-off about twenty feet below him. He grabbed the satchel and a few of the loose pages that were scattered nearby, as he continued downward. He had stuffed the pages back into the torn leather bag. When he reached for Charlie's cell, his hand froze as he caught sight of the envelope. It had something written on it that sent a shiver down Don's spine.

_Upon my death, or permanent incapacitation, please forward this package to Alan and Don Eppes._

Don took the envelope with shaking hands, and stuffed it along with the phone into the satchel. He stopped for a moment to look down the slope. If the satchel was here, then Charlie must have gone over that drop-off. He headed straight forward carefully. It was very steep and slippery here, and he didn't want to end up going over the drop himself. There was an uprooted tree hanging over the edge and Don made for it, so that he had something to hang onto as he peered over the edge.

The drop was about twenty to twenty-five feet straight down, and at the bottom, lying just a foot or so from a fallen tree, was the limp form of his brother, Charlie. Don felt his heart sink. He wasn't moving, but he was too far away to see if he was breathing. "CHARLIE!" There was no movement to his call, so Don pulled out his radio and called up to Jack at the top of the ravine. "Jack, I found him. There is a drop off that he fell over. He is about twenty-five feet below me. We are going to need ropes."

"The LASAR team is putting on harnesses, and will be starting down for your position. Can you tell what condition is he in?"

"He's not moving, Jack, and he didn't respond when I called to him. Have them bring a complete ALS kit. I'm going to find a way to get down to him. I'll radio back when I can give you a better idea of his injuries."

"Don! Damn it, wait for LASAR! We don't need two victims today!"

Don switched off the radio and looked around for some way to get to Charlie. He scanned the drop-off for anything that he could use to get down safely. Jack was right; two victims would be a major problem, but he had no intention of waiting, either. It had taken him nearly fifteen minutes to get down here and to just sit there at the edge looking down at Charlie for that time was simply not going to happen. The uprooted tree that was hanging over the edge looked like his best bet. If he climbed out onto the trunk and made it to the lowest branch hanging down, he could drop down to Charlie. The branch was hanging low enough that he would only be dropping about eight feet or so.

Don pushed against the tree with all of his weight and it didn't budge. It should be sturdy enough to hold him so he carefully climbed onto the trunk and inched his way forward. The moss-covered trunk was slippery and wet with the early morning dew, and he almost slid off as the trunk tilted downward, but he had a strong hold on the tree. He carefully made his way up the trunk to the low hanging branch until he was able to wrap an arm around it. Once he had a firm hold of the branch he swung his legs over the side of the trunk, quickly grabbing hold with his other hand.

He was dangling from the branch now, and started to inch his way down hand over hand. He was about half way down the branch when he heard it crack. He looked up and saw that the branch was somewhat rotted, and had begun to tear away from the trunk under his weight. He continued to slide down the branch a few more feet until it gave way, and he and the branch came crashing to the ground. He had only dropped about twelve feet, but he landed painfully on his left ankle, twisting it. Ignoring the pain, he got to his hands and knees and crawled over to Charlie.

He was lying on his side. His clothes were torn and it looked like his left arm was badly broken. The arm bent inward toward his body between his elbow and wrist. Charlie's left leg was also bent above the knee at an unnatural angle. _'Please, God, don't let him be dead.'_ Don, thought over and over, as he got closer to his brother. "Charlie?" Don reached out and very gently felt for a pulse in his brother's neck. Relief washed over him as he felt a pulse, and Charlie moaned softly at his touch.

He carefully rolled Charlie onto his back, making sure to keep his head straight. He had a deep gash across his forehead with dried blood covering the right side of his face. His helmet, which was still strapped on, had a long split in it running down the left side. Charlie's eyes fluttered open and Don smiled broadly. "Hey, Buddy."

Charlie stared up at Don looking warily at his brother. In a hoarse whisper Charlie said, "Don?" He reached up his right hand to touch the person leaning over him. "Are you real?"

Don took Charlie's hand in his own and gave it a gentle squeeze. "I'm real, and I'm going to get you out of here. Everything will be all right now, Buddy."

Tears formed in Charlie's eyes. "She said you were coming." Charlie closed his eyes, blinking the tears away. His voice was weak and breathy as if he was struggling to breathe, but he looked at Don and spoke again. "I'm… sorry. Tell, Dad… I'm sorry." His eyes slid closed and the hand that Don was holding went limp.

Panic filled Don. "No, Charlie you have to hold on! Charlie, you can't leave me." Don bent down close to Charlie and said softly, "I can't lose you, Buddy, I can't live without you. You're my best friend, Charlie, please don't leave me. I need you." Tears fell from Don's eyes, dropping onto Charlie's cheek.

Charlie opened his eyes again and he looked into his brother's face. Fear filled his own eyes and he spoke between short gasps. "Don't go… I'm scared… I don't want… to die alone."

Don squeezed his brother's hand again and said, "You are not going to die, Charlie. Do you hear me? You are _not_ going to die! You have to hold on. You can't give up. Charlie, please, help is on its way. We are going to get you out of here, and to the hospital." Charlie's face went slack and he just stared straight up with unseeing eyes. "Charlie! God Damn it, Charlie, don't you do this!" Don felt his heart in his throat, but a voice in his head told him to look at Charlie's chest. He was still breathing, if raggedly. Don realized that he was having a seizure and just held him watching his brother's face closely.

After a few more seconds Charlie's eyes came into focus and he looked at Don. "I didn't tell you… I wanted… I wasn't… strong enough."

"No, Charlie, you were stronger than I would have been. Charlie, you have nothing to be sorry for." Just then Don looked up at the sound of people approaching the top of the drop off. Two LASAR officers in repelling gear looked over the edge. "He's badly hurt. He has a broken arm and a broken leg, from what I can tell. He probably has a concussion as well, and he is having trouble breathing. You'll need to bring down a litter."

"We already have one. We're coming down." The two paramedics tossed the lengths of rope that they were using to repel down the ravine over the drop-off. Within a minute or two they were down next to Don and Charlie. The man who had spoken at the top shifted a large orange medical box that he had hanging from a short length of rope at his waist, to free it from the clamp holding it. "I'm Marty, and you must be Charlie. I'm going to look you over and get you ready for a ride back up to the top." As Marty stepped over to Charlie's side, Don tried to move out of the way, but Charlie wouldn't let go of his hand.

"Don't go." Charlie's voice was barely a whisper, but his eyes told Don how frightened he was.

Don gave his hand a squeeze. "I'm not going anywhere, Buddy, but I have to give these men room to work. I'm right here, Charlie. I'm going to stay with you, okay?"

Charlie nodded in understanding, and Don moved off out of the way. The two LASAR medics moved to Charlie's right side and the one named Marty smiled down at him. "Try to relax if you can. I'm going to check that head to start with."

Marty carefully removed Charlie's helmet and set it aside. The gash across his forehead went right up into his hairline. Then he took a pen light and used it to shine into each of Charlie's eyes. "I'm going to cut your shirt open so that I can get a better look at you." He then took a pair of medical scissors and cut the front of Charlie's shirt as well as the sleeves on both arms. The other medic cut at long split up the seam of his left pant leg revealing an unnatural bend in his leg about an inch above the knee.

Don tried to keep his face calm as he stared, horrified, at his brother. Charlie had indeed lost weight, and Don wondered to himself how he could have not noticed this. Charlie's ribs were clearly visible and he was deeply bruised all down the right side of his chest. His left arm looked even worse now, than it had through his clothing. It was clear that his forearm was broken badly, as well as his left leg.

Marty gently felt the ribs on Charlie's right side and he moaned weakly in pain. He pulled a stethoscope out of the medical kit and listened to Charlie's breathing on both sides of his chest for a moment before hooking the device around his neck. "I have no breath sounds on the right, and his breathing is labored. Jerry, radio in for Mercy flight, we are going to need to get him to the hospital quickly once we get him out of this ravine."

"What does all of that mean? Is he going to be all right?" Don sounded truly frightened as he watched Charlie struggling for breath.

Marty was pulling out a re-breather mask to administer oxygen to Charlie, and answered Don without looking up from his work. "I think a broken rib has punctured and subsequently collapsed his right lung, because when he breathes, I can't hear any air moving on the right side. It is highly probable that many of his ribs are broken." Marty indicated the heavy bruising all over Charlie's chest. "He should be fine, once we get him to the hospital, but first we need to stabilize him and get him out of here." Charlie looked frightened too, and Marty smiled at him "Don't worry, you will be just fine. I'm going to feel your neck, then put a collar on you. That is quite some fall you had, and I want to be sure that your neck is safe when we take you back up the hill." Then Marty gently slid his hands under Charlie's neck and cautiously prodded the length of his cervical spine. Once he was satisfied that there were no serious fractures, he slid the hard cervical collar under his neck and secured it in front.

Marty pulled out some needles and a large bag of clear fluid. "I'm going to start giving him some IV fluids because he is dehydrated and other medications can be administered through the line." Then he took a couple of alcohol wipes and cleaned a large portion of Charlie's right arm by his elbow. He placed another needle covered with a hollow plastic sheath in his arm. Once he had a positive blood flow, he removed the needle leaving the small tube in Charlie's vein and hooked up an intravenous line then attached it to a bag of Lactated Ringers. He handed the bag to Don and said, "Could you to hold this up while we get ready to splint his arm and leg?"

Don took the bag with one hand and held it high over his head. Marty reached out and touched Don's arm gently. "It doesn't have to be that high, just so long as it is level with, or above, his heart." Don brought the bag back down feeling slightly foolish. Marty turned his attention back to Charlie. "Charlie, look at me now." Charlie tried to focus on the medic but was finding it difficult to keep his eyes open and see past the mask that he now wore. "We have to splint your arm and your leg. Moving them to put the splints on is going to hurt, but try not to fight us. That will make it hurt more. Do you understand?"

It was difficult to nod in the cervical collar but Marty understood Charlie's slight head motion. Charlie turned his head as much as the collar would permit, to try to see Don. The pain he was feeling was so clear in his eyes that Don moved up to Charlie's head and took hold of the hand on his uninjured arm. "I'm here, Charlie."

"Jerry, grab that splint and try to get in on his left." Marty instructed the other medic. "Okay, Charlie, I'm going to splint your arm, now."

Charlie squeezed Don's hand and nodded his understanding to Marty. The collar prevented Charlie from looking down at his arm, for which Don was grateful. Marty lifted Charlie's arm up and Jerry fitted three stiff narrow boards along the length of his arm. The first went from half way down his upper arm to his elbow, the second from his elbow to the fracture in his forearm, and the third from the fracture down to his wrist. Once the arm was supported by the splints, Marty began to wrap gauze bandaging all the way around Charlie's arm and the boards. The pain was intense and Charlie fought to keep still.

Jerry then pulled out a large 'L' shaped metal rod with various velcro bands attached at intervals down the length of the device.

"What is that?" Don asked with no small amount of trepidation.

"This is a Kendrick Traction Splint." Marty turned his attention to Charlie. "Charlie your leg is broken and I have to straighten it and put it in this special splint before we can move you up the ravine. I am going to be honest with you here; this is going to hurt like hell. I would like to give you something for the pain but with that head injury I can't. Are you ready?"

Charlie closed his eyes for a moment and swallowed hard but nodded his head slightly as he gripped Don's hand harder. Marty moved down to the end of Charlie's body and with the splint lying next to his injured leg. He securely attached a wide band around his ankle and lined up the rod next to Charlie's leg. Then he moved up to Charlie's waist and threaded a strap around the top of his leg and across the top of the left side of his pelvis. Marty adjusted the length of the pole so that it extended about twelve inches beyond Charlie's foot before inserting the pole into the receptacles on the hip strap.

Marty looked carefully at Charlie now. The movement that was necessary to thread the hip strap had been painful for him but now he was about to apply traction. "Charlie, I have to straighten your leg out now and attach the traction strap to the end of the splint. You have to try not to fight me when I do that. Do you understand?"

After his patient indicated that he understood Marty moved down to the ankle strap and began applying a strong even pull on the traction strap which slowly straightened Charlie's leg. The pain was far worse than either Charlie or Don had expected. Charlie screamed and automatically tried to sit up but Don, who was still holding the IV bag with one hand, placed his other hand firmly on Charlie's shoulder to keep him down.

"Hang in there, Buddy. The worst is over now." But Charlie didn't hear his brother's words as he slipped into unconsciousness.

Once the medics had Charlie's leg splinted they loosely bound both of his legs together. Then Marty got up and moved over to the stokes-basket that they had brought down and took a back-board out and handed it to Jerry. They log-rolled Charlie onto his side and Jerry slipped the board underneath him. They strapped him firmly to the board and placed large stiff pads on either side of his head before securely taping them down to the board. Together the medics lifted the board with Charlie on it up and over into the litter as Don followed along still holding the IV bag. Marty took the bag from him as Jerry began fastening the back board to the litter. Marty noticed that Don was limping heavily and asked, "What happened to you? You're limping."

Don's face reddened slightly and he said, "It's nothing. I twisted my ankle coming down."

Marty frowned and said, "Take a seat. I want to check that ankle before we all try to climb out of here." Don obediently sat on the fallen tree that Charlie was lying near and lifted his pant leg. Marty removed his shoe and sock and saw that Don's left ankle was swollen and turning black and blue. Don did his best not to wince at Marty's manipulations. "Well, I doubt that it's broken but it certainly looks like you have a bad sprain." He dug into the kit again and pulled out an air splint and fastened it securely to Don's ankle. "Go ahead and put your sock back on. That should allow you to get up the ravine, but you'll have to have that seen to."

Marty took his shoe and put it in the litter with Charlie so that Don had both his hands free to climb. He held up a harness for Don and asked if he had ever used one to which Don nodded. He took the harness and got himself strapped in while the medics went back to fastening the lead ropes to Charlie's litter.

Two other LASAR officers were now at the top of the drop off and they hauled the litter up to the top. Then the medics and Don climbed hand over hand to get up themselves. Using the ropes, the four LASAR techs got Charlie up the hill fairly easily, without too much jostling of the litter. Don, however, was having a bit of difficulty climbing up the slope with one foot in nothing but a sock and a splint, but he was determined to keep up with his brother and pushed ahead.

Once they all gained the top of the slope, Alan ran over to the stokes-basket that Charlie was in. "Oh, God, Charlie! Son, can you hear me?" Charlie looked horrible. His face was covered in old blood and his shirt was cut open, revealing his bruised and battered chest.

Charlie didn't move or respond to his father, and Marty said, "The climb was tough on him, sir. He'll be fine once we get him to the hospital." Then he reached into the litter, and grabbed Don's shoe, handing it to him.

Alan turned around, looking for Don only to find him standing right by his side. He looked down and saw the splint on Don's ankle. "What happened?"

Don waved him off and said, "It's nothing, Dad. Come on, we can drive to Cedars. They are going to take Charlie in a helicopter." Don was untying the satchel from his belt, and started down the trail after the LASAR team carrying his brother, with his father following closely behind him.

Don was so focused on staying with his brother, that he didn't even realize that he had said nothing to Jack or the rest of the team, to thank them for all they had done to help him find Charlie. No one held it against him; they knew that there would be time for that later, as they started to gather up their search equipment to take back to the vehicles at the head of the trail.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N -** We are almost finished with this tale.  
There is a sequence in this chapter that describes a subjective view of death. No offense is intended to anyone or their personally held spiritual or secular beliefs.  
Please enjoy the story, and take it for just that. It is only a story, as feebly told by yours truly.

**Chapter Nine**

At the head of the bicycle trial, there was a helicopter sitting in the car park, with its rotors still going. The LASAR team hurried over to it with Charlie, as Don followed closely behind. Before they could put the stokes-basket into the helicopter, Don moved in along the right side, and took hold of Charlie's hand. He bent close to his brother's face and spoke into his ear. "Hang on buddy, I'm right behind you. I'll see you at the hospital." Charlie didn't open his eyes or answer Don, but he did weakly squeeze his big brother's hand.

Don stood back, as the Mercy Flight helicopter lifted into the air. He watched it for a moment as it rose into the early morning sunlight, before turning and walking straight to his father's car. He popped the trunk, and fished around for the first aide kit. Then he sat down on the bumper, and took off his sock and the air splint that the paramedic had put on. Alan blanched when he saw Don's ankle. It was very swollen, and had turned a dark shade of purple. Don pulled out an ace bandage, and wrapped it snugly around his ankle. The ace was less bulky than the air splint, and Don was able to put his shoe back on, but could only lace it loosely.

"You are not driving with that ankle. Get in the passenger side. They're taking Charlie to Cedars, right?"

Don nodded and got up to walk around the car to the passenger side. He had his back to his father, so Alan did not see his grimace of pain when he put his full weight on the swollen ankle.

As they drove to the hospital, Don glanced down at Charlie's satchel that he still held in his lap, the manila envelope resting inside. After staring at it for a few minutes, pondering whether he wanted to know what was in that envelope, he decided that now was as good a time as any. He opened the satchel and pulled out the envelope and stared at the words written on the front.

Alan glanced over at what Don was holding and felt his blood go cold. "What is that!"

Don didn't answer his father. He just opened the envelope and withdrew the contents. There was a copy of Charlie's Last Will and Testament, a Living Will document, and a letter addressed to both of them. Don found that his hands were shaking as he opened the letter and read.

_Dear Don and Dad,  
__I know you must be feeling very angry and hurt right now. I will not  
__invalidate your feelings by suggesting that you shouldn't feel them.  
__All feelings are valid, by virtue of the fact that someone is feeling  
__them.  
__I would like to try to explain why I kept this from you. I know that it  
__won't help the pain that you are in right now, but it may offer some  
__solace to know that I have never stopped thinking about either of  
__you through this whole ordeal.  
__I have never been able to forgive myself for leaving all of you when  
__Mom was facing the end. I couldn't deal with losing her, so I locked  
__myself away from my own pain, but in the process I abandoned you  
__two as well. I wasn't there to help you through the pain you were  
__feeling. Getting lost in the numbers was the only relief I could find  
__from the feeling of my heart breaking. I was so consumed by what I  
__was feeling, that I didn't pay any attention to what all of the people  
__around me were going through.  
__When I found out that I had this tumor, I was forced to sit back and  
__look at my life. What I realized was difficult to admit to myself. I was  
__selfish when Mom died; but not just then, I have always been selfish.  
__It occurred to me that I have never had to do anything to take care of  
__myself. I have lived with my parents my entire life. I have never really  
__had to deal with the normal mundane necessities of every day living. I  
__don't cook or clean, I don't even do my own laundry. Until I bought  
__the house from you, Dad, I never even had to pay rent.  
__I am not at all surprised that Don needed to get out on his own, and  
__away from home, away from his spoiled little brother. It must have  
__driven you nuts, Don, to watch me take advantage of Mom and Dad all  
__these years. You have even said that I take advantage of Dad, but I  
__didn't listen. I didn't see what you saw.  
__I am so very sorry for the way I have behaved. I have lived my entire  
__life as a spoiled and pampered child. I don't want to face my death the  
__same way. If I have to die, I want to die as a man.  
__I have enclosed a Living Will with this letter. There are specific  
__instructions, concerning what should be done, if I don't make it out of  
__this surgery with my faculties intact. I do not want to be a burden on  
__my family any more. I do not want to live the rest of my life as an  
__invalid, physically and mentally. I have a Do Not Resuscitate order in  
__here, and it is also filed with the hospital. I am asking you not to fight  
__this decision. You have both taken care of me long enough.  
__Don, I left the house to Dad, because he needs it. The taxes will be  
__paid annually by my lawyer and the utilities and other maintenance  
__expenses, and insurance are set up to be paid from a trust that I set  
__up. My lawyer will have access to that trust upon my death, with  
__instructions to make sure that all of the bills are paid. I have taken  
__care of all of the arrangements for my funeral as well.  
__Please try to understand why I have done this. Don, you have always  
__been so strong. You took care of everything when Mom died. You and  
__Dad had to do it all, without me. This time I have to be the strong  
__one, I promised Mom. I love you both very much, and you just don't  
__need to go through all of this again. I don't know what else to say. Try  
__not to be sad for too long and take care of each other._

_Love, Charlie_

Don folded the letter up and put it back into the manila envelope. He had tears running down his face as he stared out the front window.

Alan was watching Don, as closely as he could while driving, as he read the letter that Charlie had written. At one point, Don raised his hand to his mouth to stifle a cry. Now he was just staring out the windshield as tears ran freely down his face, looking utterly lost. Alan reached over to his son, and took hold of his hand. Not having seen what was in the letter; Alan didn't know what words of comfort he could offer, so he just held Don's hand as they made their way through the early morning traffic of downtown Los Angeles.

When they arrived at the hospital, Don took the manila envelope with him as they got out of the car. The Mercy Flight helicopter had come and gone by the time they arrived, so Don and Alan went directly to the desk to inquire about Charlie. They were shown into the emergency room and asked to wait in a small lounge reserved for family members of critically injured patients. _'This is where they come and tell you that someone has died.'_ Don thought, miserably to himself.

Alan sat down next to his son and put his arm around him. "He'll be fine, Donnie. You must have faith in that." Don turned and looked at his father. He could see the fear in his eyes, but behind that, there was a strength that lifted him up a little.

"I made him feel like he was wrong, Dad. He thinks that I left LA because of him." Don threw the envelope that he was still holding in his hand forcefully down on the table. He got up quickly from his chair and began pacing. The pain in his ankle was of no consequence to him. He was glad that it hurt, he wanted it to hurt enough to make him forget the stabbing pain in his heart, and he stomped his foot on the floor.

"Donnie! Stop it! Hurting yourself will not help, Charlie, all it _will_ do is hurt you!"

Don sank down into the chair again defeated, and wincing at the horrible throbbing coursing through his ankle and lower leg now. "He was right, Dad. I did leave because of him, well partly anyway. Dad, he really _is_ my best friend, but I haven't treated him that way. I have never told him how I feel. I have never tried to mend the space between us. I allowed my feelings of resentment, to keep him at a safe distance."

"Donnie, that isn't really true. You and Charlie have become a lot closer over the last few months. He knows how you feel about him."

"Does he? Dad, I think that you should read that letter he wrote to us. He feels like a child! He said that he wanted to die like a man. What have I ever done to make him feel like a man, rather than my 'pain in the ass' little brother?"

Alan paled a little but he walked over to Don and took him by the shoulders, looking into his troubled eyes. "You can not _make_ Charlie feel like a man. That is not your responsibility. Donnie, you are not your brother's keeper. He is a grown man, who is responsible for his own feelings and actions. As his family, it _is_ our responsibility to support him and to care for him, as one of our own; but he must find his peace within himself. We can not give that to him."

Alan reached over to the large envelope and pulled out the letter that Charlie had written and sat down to read it. When he finished he set the letter down and stared at the wall for a long time before turning to his son. "Donnie, you can not blame yourself for the way Charlie is feeling. I am his father, and if anyone should shoulder the burden for this, it's me. Your mother and I always took care of him. We made sure that he didn't have to worry about anything while he was getting his education. We both felt that the pressure that he was under at his age was enough for him to deal with. Going to an Ivy League college at thirteen was tremendously difficult for Charlie. He may have had the intellect to accomplish a degree at that age, but he still had the emotional maturity of a young teen age boy. After sheltering him for so long, I guess it just became a habit."

Alan paused for a moment, considering what he wanted to say. "With all of the attention that we gave to Charlie, you got left aside. You had no choice but to become self-sufficient, at a very early age. Looking back, I think that, maybe, we didn't do right by either of you boys. The way Charlie is feeling, the way that you are feeling, it stems from how we brought you up. I won't be so arrogant as to take credit for your emotions, but as a father, I am seeing the results of poor decisions that we made as parents. It's like one of Charlie's complicated algorithms. Sometimes the equation has to run its course, before you can see the errors. I'm sorry, Don. We weren't really there for you growing up, and we were there too much for Charlie."

Listening to his father and seeing the regret in his eyes, Don realized that they were both trying to assume blame in a blameless situation. "Dad, you and Mom did very well by us. Charlie may have been a little pampered, but if he hadn't been, would he be able to do the things that he does? And if I hadn't been so self-reliant, how long do you think I would last in this job of mine? Dad, you did more than 'right by us'. You helped us to become the men that we are today."

There was a soft knock on the door and Dr. Heising stepped in. "Hello Mr. Eppes, Agent Eppes. I have been in to see Charlie. His condition is fairly serious at the moment. His right lung was punctured by a broken rib and the space around the lung has filled with blood causing it to collapse. They are going to need to insert a chest tube to drain off the fluid so that his lung can be re-inflated, but he won't allow the procedure unless his brother is in the room. There are several other issues that need to be discussed, but we need to deal with this situation first."

Don looked back at his father who said, "Go to him, son. He needs his big brother now. I'll wait for the others to arrive, and tell them what is going on." Don looked confused for a moment, and his father said, "You don't really think that, David and Terry, and the others aren't going to show up, to see how Charlie is doing, do you?"

"Oh, that reminds me, I have Jack's phone." Don dug into his pocket and took the phone out and handed it to his father. "Why don't you give Larry, a call? He will want to know what is happening." Don turned to follow Dr. Heising, leaving his father to contact friends and family.

Dr. Heising noticed Don's limp and said, "Once we have Charlie stabilized and sedated, you will need to go to X-Ray and get that ankle looked at. The LASAR medic told the ER Attending about it." They stopped just outside the door to the major trauma unit. "I will not be able to operate on Charlie, until his leg and other injuries have been stabilized, but I will be seeing him regularly to monitor his neurological situation. The fact that he has had a complete turn-around in his attitude, about his family being a part of this process, is the most encouraging sign I have seen in him. Try not to worry. Let's just get him taken care of. We can deal with the tumor in a few days."

Don pushed the door open, and walked in to the trauma room. He saw Charlie, looking small and frightened, lying on a bed at the far end of the room. He no longer wore the cervical collar, and his left arm had been cast. The gash on his forehead had been stitched and his face was cleaned up a little. He was naked except for his boxers and he had three different IV bags attached to the line in his right arm. Charlie turned his head and saw his brother. The relief that filled his face was startling. Don crossed the room to him, as quickly as his swollen ankle would allow, and took Charlie's hand in his. "Hey there, Buddy, what's this I hear about you not letting these folks work?"

Charlie was frowning at Don with concern. "Why are you limping like that? Are you all right?"

His voice sounded so weak and breathy, that Don had difficulty keeping his face from showing how apprehensive he was. "I'm fine, Buddy. I just twisted my ankle a little."

The ER Attending stepped up to the bed, pulling a tray that was covered in a blue cloth with some sort of instruments under it. "Mr. Eppes, we need to sit you up so that we can drain the fluid from around your lung. Your brother can stand on the left side of the bed, and help to hold you." Don moved around to the other side of the bed at this instruction.

A nurse, standing close by, pulled out two pillows and fastened them into a roll, then placed them on Charlie's belly, before addressing Don. "When we sit him up you will need to hold him across these pillows. That will arch his ribcage, opening a space for the tube to be inserted. Just hold him around his shoulders."

Don nodded his understanding, and they carefully sat Charlie up. The pain he was feeling was very clear in his eyes, but he didn't cry out at all. It was obvious that he was having extreme difficulty breathing, as his breaths came in short staccato gasps. Don reached around his brother's shoulders and held him securely. In this position they were face to face and Charlie looked into his brother's eyes and said, "Did you mean what you said… about me being your best friend?"

"I meant every word, Buddy." Don whispered, and Charlie could see the sincerity in his brother's eyes.

The doctor washed his hands thoroughly, then put sterile gloves on, while the nurse washed Charlie's back and side with Betadine. "I'm going to use some numbing medication now. Try to hold very still. You will feel a bee sting, then a burning sensation for a moment." Don tightened his grip on Charlie, to keep him from moving while the doctor worked. Then the doctor picked up a tube with a sharp pointed rod in the center of it. "You are going to feel some pressure now. It may be uncomfortable, but you must try to hold very still." The doctor used the pointed rod to pierce Charlie's side and push the tube into place.

Charlie squeezed his eyes shut and started panting. Don was watching the doctor, and could see that Charlie had tensed up his muscles when he began to pant. This was making it difficult for the doctor to place the tube where he wanted to, so Don moved his mouth close to Charlie's ear, and began speaking to him in low soothing tones. "Charlie, you need to slow your breathing down. Relax your muscles. I'm right here with you, buddy. I won't leave you. Listen to my voice and slow everything down." Don continued speaking into Charlie's ear until he relaxed enough for the doctor to place the tube.

Once he had done that, he pulled the pointed rod out, leaving a flexible rubber like tube behind. The nurse took the end of the tube, now hanging from Charlie's side, and hooked it up to a container with two graduated reservoirs, while the doctor had begun to suture the tube into place. As soon as she unclamped the end of the tube, bright red blood poured through the tubing and began to fill one of the reservoirs. Don was shocked at the amount of blood draining from his brother, and moved so that he could see his face. Charlie's eyes were glassy, and he was pale as a ghost, but he seemed to be in less pain than before the tube went in. Once the doctor had finished sewing the tube to Charlie, he covered the area with a thick set of gauze bandages, and used copious amounts of tape to secure everything into place.

"We can lay him down now," the nurse said quietly. Don moved up the bed slightly and gently laid Charlie on his back. He had gone rather limp and his eyes slid closed. Don looked nervously at the blood that was still draining out of his brother's body, and gave the nurse a questioning stare. "All of this fluid was keeping him from breathing. It will be much easier for him now. The tube will stay in place until his lung is re-inflated and the bleeding from his injury stops. You did a very good job, keeping him calm."

The doctor took another needle now, and carefully measured some medication into it before inserting it into a port on one of the IV's hooked up to Charlie. "This is a mild sedative. He is going to have to have surgery, to repair his broken leg. The orthopedic surgeon is most likely talking with your father right now about that surgery. We need to get him cleaned up a little better first, and then I want another chest X-ray to see how his lung is doing. It will be minimally two hours before he will be ready to go up to the OR. I understand that you should also have that ankle looked at. Would you mind, taking a seat on that stool, right there?"

Don sat down obediently, and took his own shoe and sock off as well as the ace he had applied earlier so that the doctor could see it. After a quick examination, the doctor said, "Well, I don't think it is broken, but I won't know that for sure, without an x-ray. You can go down to the x-ray department with your brother, when they come to pick him up for his chest film. You do, however, have a very nasty sprain, and you will need to keep off the foot for a few days." He reached into his pocket and pulled out a prescription pad and wrote a hasty script. "This is for some pain medication. It is very mild, but it should take the edge off when you try to walk on it, even after you have been advised not to." The doctor said, with a knowing grin. "In any case, you should take Ibuprofen to ease the swelling, and ice it while your brother is in surgery."

Once the doctor had checked Charlie's vital signs again, he left the nursing staff to do their work. Don moved over to Charlie's right side so that he could hold his hand while the nurse cleaned the rest of the blood from his face and body. When she had finished, she put a hospital gown on him and put immobilizers around the splinted leg. Finally she covered him gently with a sheet and blanket before turning to Don. "I'll give you a few minutes alone with him. Then I'll show your father in. It should be about half an hour before X-ray will be down, to take you both for your films." She turned to leave, but stopped and put her hand on his shoulder. "From the moment he woke up, all he could do was to ask for you. From what I have seen, your brother is very lucky to have you."

Once she closed the door behind her, Don turned to Charlie, and leaned over to kiss his forehead. "I'm so sorry, Buddy. I don't feel much like a good brother right now. You don't have to feel ashamed, about losing yourself in your numbers. You are who you are, and I wouldn't have you try to be anything different. Everyone expresses grief in their own way. This was… this is, your way. I have never really told you how I feel about you, probably because that's not my way, but I should have. You're special, Charlie, and I love you for who you are. I just wish I had shown you that. You couldn't tell me about what you were going through, because I never let you." Don didn't know what else he could say to his brother, who was now sleeping peacefully, so he just stayed with him, holding his hand.

Don's x-ray showed no fractures, and Charlie's film showed a marked improvement in his right lung. He still had a small hemothorax, but most of his right lung had begun to fill with oxygen, and his breathing was far easier than it had been only an hour previously. By the time he was taken up to the OR for surgery it was past noon and Don and his father found comfortable seats in the waiting area. Terry, David, Jack, Danny and the others had all come and gone. Larry arrived at just past two thirty. "How is he doing?" he asked while nervously scratching his face and head.

Alan handed him a cup of coffee, and indicated that they should take a seat at the far end of the waiting room. Don had fallen asleep only half an hour ago, and Alan didn't want to wake him. "He had a collapsed lung, because a broken rib punctured it. That has been taken care of essentially. He has a mild concussion. Thank God, he was wearing a helmet, or he wouldn't even be here right now. His left arm and leg were broken pretty badly. They were able to set and cast his arm but the leg will have a series of pins put in it. They can't operate on his tumor until after the rest of his injuries are stabilized, so we are in for a long stay."

Larry was biting his nails but he sat bolt upright at the word tumor. "What are you talking about? What tumor?"

Alan just stared at Larry for a moment, as he realized that Larry didn't know. He couldn't have known. Alan had only found out last night, and he hadn't spoken to Larry at all. Alan took a long time to explain what was really going on with Charlie, and how he had been diagnosed with a brain tumor on the anniversary of Margaret's death. Larry, who was usually quite verbose, was struck dumb by this news. Charlie was very special to him, and was essentially his best friend. The thought that he could be gone, just like that, disturbed him deeply. He sat, uncharacteristically quietly, until the orthopedic surgeon came out into the waiting room to tell Charlie's family that the surgery had gone well.

Monday morning dawned clear and bright, and when Amita stepped into Charlie's office, with two cups of coffee and crescent rolls, it took her a moment to register the state that she found the room in. She looked around disbelieving what her eyes were telling her. The chair to Charlie's desk was turned toward the window with someone sitting in it. She set the coffee and rolls down on the edge of the pristine desk and came around the corner of it. When she saw, Larry, sitting in Charlie's chair, staring out blankly into the morning light, with tears on his face her heart froze in fear. "Where's Charlie?" she asked. Her voice sounded husky even to her own ears.

Larry was startled by the sound, and snapped out of his reverie abruptly. "Amita! When did you get back? I thought you weren't due in until Wednesday."

Amita knelt down so that she could see Larry's eyes on a level with hers. "Where is Charlie, Larry? Why does his office look like this?"

Larry sighed heavily and looked down gathering his thoughts. "Amita, Charles is in the hospital, and he may be there for a while. A lot has happened while you were in India. Perhaps you should sit down."

One hour later, Amita white and shaken, found her way to Charlie's room. She stepped in through the door but stopped in her tracks and put her hand to her mouth. Charlie was lying in bed with his left leg up in the air. Two large silver metal rods were screwed into his leg just above the knee and were sticking out of the side about four inches. The two rods were connected by a longer metal rod that had screws on it to attach to the rods that were buried into his bone. His face was puffy and bruised and he had a long set of stitches that went across his forehead and up into his hair and his arm was in a cast. What made her stop, and feel so horrified, was the sunken look below his eyes and the fact that he was easily ten pounds under weight. Don was resting in a chair next to his brother. He was dozing, but looked up when she entered.

"Amita, come in. I didn't think you were going to be back yet." Don was speaking in a hushed whisper. "He's just fallen asleep, so try not to wake him." Don stood up and came around the bed to give her a hug. "He'll be very happy to see you when he wakes up." Don led her over to a set of chairs by the window. "Did you speak with Larry?"

Amita tore her eyes from Charlie, and looked at Don. "I went to Charlie's office, and found Larry sitting there. He's so worried, Don, that it scared me a little. He said that Charlie was down in that ravine for two days. How is that possible? When Larry told me about the tumor, I couldn't believe it. He said that no one knew about it, or that he was having seizures."

Don understood that Amita was reacting to the news about Charlie, and not accusing anyone of neglect. It was a lot to absorb all at once. "Amita, Charlie didn't tell anyone about the tumor when he was diagnosed. He wrote Dad and me a letter explaining why he chose to keep this from us, but he hasn't recovered enough for me to really talk to him about it. No one, including Charlie, knew about the seizures. They are called absence seizures or Petit Mal Seizures. When he has one, it just looks like he's staring off into space. No one would notice that kind of seizure in Charlie."

Amita nodded. "So, what are they going to do about this tumor? Is it..." Amita felt awkward asking this question, given the Eppes' history.

"Is it cancer?" Don finished for her. She nodded. "We don't know. The type of tumor he has is usually benign, but it also usually grows very slowly. Charlie's tumor grew quickly and, with our family's history, there is no way to know until the tissue is biopsied. He was originally scheduled for surgery today, but he isn't physically stable enough yet to go under anesthesia for five or six hours."

Amita stood up and stepped over to Charlie's bed. She traced her fingers lightly along his face. "Is there anything I can do? Really, anything?" She turned and looked at Don.

"Just be here for him. Look, I need to go grab a shower. Why don't you sit with him for a while? I'm sure seeing you will lift his spirits, when he wakes up."

Amita sat for just over an hour watching Charlie sleep peacefully. The thought that she might never have seen him alive again, tore at her heart. She had worked closely enough with him, over the last couple of years, that she couldn't imagine her life without him. Her trip to India seemed so frivolous to her now. As she sat there staring at him, Charlie's eyes fluttered open.

It took him a moment to try to focus, and after squinting up at the monitor next to his bed, he realized that the blurred vision was getting worse. He felt a small hand take hold of his, and he turned his head to the right. He smiled when he saw Amita sitting there. She was all out of focus, but he didn't need to see clearly to recognize her face. "Amita? You're here."

Don was just about to enter the room, when he heard Charlie's voice. He peeked through the slit between the door and the door frame, and saw that Charlie had a big smile on his face. He stood still and watched his brother. He was now convinced that Amita was the woman Charlie spoke of in his journals. His face was positively radiant right now.

Amita lifted his hand to her face, and kissed it lightly. "Of course I'm here. How are you feeling?"

Charlie's smile faltered just slightly. He felt dreadful. His leg was very painful just at the moment, his head was pounding and he couldn't see properly but he said, "Much better, now that you're here. I missed you, Amita."

"I missed you too," she almost whispered.

Don was enjoying watching his brother with the person he cared for more than anyone else. He wished that Charlie would hang the rules and ask her out. From what he could see, Amita had the same feelings for Charlie.

"So, how was India?"

Amita couldn't help laughing. "Hot!" then her face turned more somber, but Charlie couldn't see that, and was caught completely off guard by her next question. "Charlie, why didn't you tell someone what was happening with you?"

Don was stunned that she had asked him that, but listened closely to hear his brother's answer.

Charlie's smile vanished and he looked away from her toward the door. Don backed up, afraid that he would be caught eavesdropping, unaware that Charlie couldn't see anything that far away.

"Charlie, you could have died down in that ravine!" Amita's voice was shaking, and Don could tell that she was on the verge of giving him a through talking to or else crying.

Charlie's response, however, nearly knocked him over. "I did." Charlie said, quietly.

Amita reached over and touched Charlie's cheek, and he turned to face her. Don crept closer and listened, over the pounding of his pulse in his ears. "Charlie, what do you mean, you did?" She had genuine fear in her eyes that Charlie couldn't see, but heard, in her voice.

"I don't even know how I got down there, Amita." Charlie had a note of controlled panic in his voice. "I was riding to Cal Sci, then the next thing I know I am falling, and hitting trees and rocks. It took forever to stop falling, but by the time I did, all sense of reason was gone. I don't know how to explain it. I must have laid there for a while, unconscious, because when I looked up next, it was at least noon because the sun was high in the sky. I tried to move, but I couldn't. There was so much pain. I remembered being scared most of the time. I tried screaming for help, but no one heard me. Then it started to get dark, and I was so cold, that I couldn't feel my feet any more. That's when I was the most frightened. That night seemed to last for such a long time. Larry would say that it was no longer or shorter than any other night, but when you are freezing and hurting, that just isn't true. Another day came, and I screamed until I had no more voice, but still no one came. It got so hard to breathe that I just lay as still as I could. When the dark came again, I knew that I was going to die down in that place, all alone, cold and scared." By this time tears had begun to drop from Charlie's eyes. "Amita, it was so cold that second night. I never want to be cold again."

The anguish in Charlie's voice was almost more than Don could bear. He wanted to run into the room and throw his arms around his brother. He wanted to tell him that he would never feel like that again while he was around, but Don couldn't move. He stood frozen to the spot as Charlie told the story of his ordeal, helpless to do anything but listen.

"By the time morning came again, my head and body hurt so much, that I welcomed death. I just wanted it all to stop. I couldn't breathe any more, it was too difficult, so I closed my eyes and slowly the pain began to fade away, until it was gone. When I opened my eyes again I wasn't lying on the ground any longer. I was up high, in the trees, and I looked down and saw myself lying there. It occurred to me that if this is what dying felt like then it wasn't really so bad. The pain was gone. I felt like I was floating on a whiff of air. It got very bright just above me, and when I looked up I saw her." Charlie's voice faded, as his throat closed up.

Amita, who was still holding Charlie's hand, gave it a squeeze to reassure him that she was still there and listening. She knew who it was, that Charlie saw, and it made the hair on the back of her neck stand on end.

Charlie found his voice again and continued, "She was so beautiful, Amita. I wanted to go with her, but she wouldn't let me. She said that I had to go back. I didn't want to go back to the pain, the fear and the cold, and I begged her to let me go with her. She said that I was needed, and that I had to go back. She told me that Don was coming to get me; that he was almost there. I heard his voice when she said that, and I looked down. He was there, hanging over a cliff, right above me and he screamed my name. I couldn't figure out what was happening. I wanted to go up to her, but I could hear Don below me. He sounded so scared. I had to make a choice, Amita. I didn't want to live anymore. Everything stops hurting when you die, but Don was calling me back."

Amita went white, hearing this admission from Charlie. She couldn't believe that he was saying that he wanted to die. A tear escaped her control, but she made no attempt to stop Charlie from continuing.

"It was the hardest choice I have ever made, but what else could I do? Don needed me, even if it was only to say goodbye, and I couldn't let him down. The next thing that I can remember is having all of that pain come crashing back into my body again. Don was there, he touched me. I didn't know if he was real or not, all I knew was that the pain was real." Charlie did not want to share the moments between Don and him with Amita. That was between them as brothers so he just said, "Things get kind of fuzzy after that."

Don staggered back away from the door. He turned and half ran, half staggered, down the hallway and nearly ran right into his father. "Donnie? Donnie what's wrong?" Don was pale and shaking, and Alan thought that something had happened to Charlie. "Donnie! Is it Charlie?"

Don took a deep breath and used every ounce of his resolve to pull himself together. "Charlie's fine. Amita is with him right now." The contents of Don's stomach heaved and he pushed past his father, and ran headlong to the bathroom down the hall.

Alan followed Don into the bathroom, very concerned. "Donnie, what is it? Are you sick, son?"

"Dad, I'm fine. Really, can you just give me a few minutes… Please, Dad." Alan was shaking his head but respected Don's wishes. He left the bathroom and headed down to Charlie's room.

When Alan entered, he smiled warmly at Amita, and came over to give her a hug. "Dad, did I hear you talking to Don? You sounded worried. Is everything all right?"

Alan sat down next to Amita, on a folding chair that he brought over. "He's fine Charlie. I think that this hospital food isn't agreeing with his stomach too much." Alan noticed the unfocused look in Charlie's eyes, and the fact that he wasn't quite looking directly at him while he spoke. Alan frowned at Charlie, and waved his hand slightly but got no discernable response. "Charlie? Can you see me?"

"Not very well. The blurred vision is getting worse. Dr. Heising is going to be here at 11:00 to see me and do a neurological test. I'll tell him about it when he comes."

Alan looked very concerned by this news but calling the doctor right now would do little good, since it would be 11:00 in a little under an hour.

Don came into the room then and said, "Hey, Buddy, how are you feeling?"

"Better than you, I guess. Dad said that the food didn't agree with you."

"Just some bad cream cheese on that bagel earlier, I'll be fine. Did I hear you say something about Dr. Heising coming in?" Charlie suddenly looked very tired as he laid his head back against the pillows. "Hey, Buddy, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm just tired. Can you ask the nurse if I can get some pain medication? My leg and my head hurt."

Don looked very concerned now. He hadn't heard Charlie request pain medication once. "Sure, Buddy." Alan and Amita got up and said their goodbyes, saying that they would see him later, after he got some rest.

Dr. Heising spoke privately with Don and Alan later after he had examined Charlie. "He still needs a few days to recover from his injuries before I can do the resection. I am concerned that his tumor is growing again so I have ordered another CT and an EEG to monitor seizure activity. If his neurological symptoms continue to increase, I will have no choice but to push ahead with the surgery." He handed a card to both of them with a pager number on it. "I know that one or both of you have been at his side at all times, so I want you to page me if things change. Watch him for slurred speech, marked weakness in his right arm or leg or if his vision gets any worse."

Don said, "I'll be with him continuously. I've taken a leave of absence from work. Doctor, if you have to perform this surgery, how dangerous is it for him?"

"The problem is how well he will come out of the general anesthesia. If, however, his condition continues to deteriorate, it may well be more dangerous to wait. There may come a point, where he could have permanent brain damage, but, with the right course of medications, I believe we can stabilize his condition long enough for him to gain some strength. He is due to have the chest tube taken out, later today or tomorrow. I am hoping that within a day or two of that, he will be strong enough to have the resection."

The next two days Don never left Charlie's side, except to use the bathroom or to get coffee from the vending machine. Alan spent most of the time at the hospital as well, although Don convinced him to go home and get some real sleep at night. Alan protested quietly, one evening, while Charlie slept. "Donnie, you need to get some sleep too. You have not left his side since he came here."

Don sighed. "I know, Dad, but I can't go, I promised him that I would stay with him, that I wouldn't leave. When you saw me get sick the other day, it wasn't from anything I ate. It was what Charlie told Amita."

At Alan's questioning look, Don repeated what Charlie had said in hushed tones. Alan put his head down when Don was finished just trying to absorb how closely they had come to losing Charlie forever. "Dad, after what he went through, I can't… I won't break that promise to him, and certainly, not for a comfortable bed."

Alan got up quietly and crossed over to his youngest son. He kissed him lightly on the forehead before heading home for the night. Don took the pillows and blanket that the nurse had provided him, and laid down in the recliner next to Charlie's bed. Charlie had done well, since having the chest tube removed, and he was showing some progress. He was able to lift his leg now and move it around a bit. He had even begun some limited physical therapy. Dr. Heising had told them earlier, that if Charlie continued to improve at this rate, he would do the resection on Friday. That was only two days from now. Don lay there thinking all of these thoughts as the steady beep from Charlie's monitor droned on, lulling him to sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N -** So ends our tale. **Warning**: There is a very graphic scene in this chapter. It is not violent or sexual in nature but it is kind of scary. One reviewer on another site described it as the scariest thing she had ever read in fan fiction. The medical research for that scene and several of the others took quite a long time so that it would be very true to real life.  
I have been toying with the idea of writing an epilogue to the story. I am undecided as to whether or not I should do this. There were a couple of things that I wanted to put in but they didn't seem to fit right with the chapter so I left them out. What is your opinion?  
I greatly appreciate all of the wonderful and even the critical reviews. I hope that you all have enjoyed this tale, and I look forward to all of your final analyses.  
Be well,  
Love, Alice I

**Chapter Ten**

The sun crested over the horizon, throwing a pale beam of diffuse light through the window and across Charlie's face. His brow was creased in a frown. The monitor by his bedside started beeping faster as he moved his head slightly from side to side. He began to breathe more rapidly, and his face contorted into a grimace of pain.

The monitor continued to sound in time with his increased heart rate. The change in sound roused, Don. It took him a moment to register what had awakened him. He looked over at Charlie and heard him groaning in pain, which brought him fully awake. "Charlie?" Don moved quickly to his brother's side. He was almost panting now and his face was pale and covered in a clammy sweat. Don took hold of Charlie's right hand, but it seemed dead to his touch, limp and lifeless. "Charlie? Can you hear me?"

Charlie opened his eyes and tried to sit up, but couldn't seem to move his body. His right arm lay unmoving at his side and he brought his left arm up to his head, nearly hitting himself in his face with the cast. Don caught hold of Charlie's arm and held it steady. "What is it Charlie?"

Charlie turned his head toward his brother's voice but Don had the distinct impression that he couldn't see him. Through panting gasps Charlie said, "My head's… gonna… explode!" Charlie squeezed his eyes closed and cried out in pain, "Help me!" Charlie's heart rate shot up sharply, setting off alarms on the bedside monitor as he fought to bring his casted arm to his head.

Don shouted, "Hey, we need help in here!" but two nurses were already running into the room, responding to the alarms.

"Donnie!" Charlie was panicked now and Don touched his face, to let him know he was there.

"He can't move and his head hurts. I don't think he can see either."

The nurse was quickly scanning the monitor when Charlie suddenly let out a loud cry. His eyes glazed over and his jaw clamped closed tightly. His body went rigid as his back arched off the bed and his left arm shot straight down to his side.

The nurse at Charlie's head had a name badge on that said Marge Wilson. She took hold of Charlie's head and shouted, "He's going into a seizure. Jules, grab that leg! He'll dislodge the pins!" The second nurse took hold of Charlie's broken leg to hold it steady as the seizure continued. After thirty seconds or so, Charlie's entire body began jerking violently and Jules was having difficulty holing the pinned leg as the tactile strength of Charlie's seizing muscles intensified.

Don moved down to Charlie's feet and grabbed his leg in a strong grip. Charlie's arms were both jerking upward at the elbows and his cast hit Marge in the back of the head. "Get that arm!" Don hollered, as Charlie's casted arm jerked up again, smacking Marge a second time. There was a high-pitched almost musical sound coming from Charlie's throat as he struggled for breath.

"Marge, hit the code!" Jules cried, as she struggled to keep Charlie's arm from hitting the bed rails or Marge.

Marge reached to the wall, and slapped a large red button on it hard. A general alarm went off, calling for aide to Charlie's room. Don couldn't believe the strength in his brother's injured leg. He was using every ounce of his own strength to keep it from thrashing violently against the side rails. He watched, horrified, as Charlie's frail body thrashed and convulsed with incredible force, then began to turn blue.

As Marge tried to keep Charlie's head from slamming into the bed rails she saw a bloody foam forming in his mouth. "Turn him on his side! He'll choke on the blood!" Don, Jules and Marge worked together to get Charlie turned onto his right side, as several other people rushed into the room.

Don was pushed, unceremoniously, out of the way by a large male nurse who took hold of Charlie's leg. He backed off into the corner of the room and watched in terror as his brother continued to thrash violently. The night shift attending physician rushed into the melee and shouted, "How long has he been seizing?"

Marge was now suctioning the blood coming from Charlie's mouth and didn't look up as she answered. "It has been about three to four minutes now, Doctor." Marge took an oxygen mask from the crash cart that had been wheeled in with the emergency response personnel and affixed it to Charlie's face. His jaw was still clamped tightly closed but the bluish tint to his skin lightened slightly as she fed him pure oxygen.

The attending was barking out orders to the various people in the room. He ordered a glucose screen and something called pulse oximetry. He also sent someone to page Dr. Heising STAT. The attending continued to shout out orders that Don didn't understand as the seizure seemed to strengthen violently. Alarms and buzzers were going off on all of the equipment making a din of sound that was difficult to hear over. After another five minutes the attending glanced at Marge. "Push one milligram of Lorazepam per minute. Jules, we need that EEG in here now! What's our pulse ox?"

"Eight-five," a voice called out.

"Contact Radiology. This guy needs to be taken in on a STAT basis for a CT as soon as we get this seizure under control," the attending called out to the people gathered. A young man stepped over to a phone on the wall and punched in the extension and began to make arrangements for the Cat Scan.

As Don sat on the window ledge, transfixed by what was happening, he felt a sense of surrealism. Charlie's body just kept jerking and twitching as the team of hospital personnel worked on him, adding medications to his IV, adjusting new monitor leads to his chest to replace the ones that had been ripped off when the seizure began, and placing new leads on his head to monitor his brain activity. As the minutes ticked by and the seizure would not abate, Don felt a tight knot in his chest. _'Am I going to lose my brother today?'_ Don pushed that thought forcefully from his mind; but, even from his vantage point, he could see his brother's face becoming bluer and could hear him wheezing loudly as the seizure constricted his throat, preventing him from breathing.

"Pulse ox down to seventy percent!" a voice called out.

The attending reached into the crash cart and began pulling out medication and equipment. "What's the EEG showing?"

"Massive seizure activity."

"We have to stop this seizure. Marge, administer Anectine so I can establish an airway. I may have to use Phenobarbital to stop this seizure. Get Dr. Heising on the phone now!"

Marge looked up at the Attending. "Dr. Anderson!" When he looked back at her she pointedly looked at Don sitting on the window ledge in the corner. The doctor turned and was shocked to see him sitting there, looking ashen. "He's his brother," Marge said, and went back to preparing the equipment Dr. Anderson would need to intubate Charlie.

Dr. Anderson set the medications he was holding down, and approached Don. "Mr. Eppes, you should come with me now." He led Don out into the hallway and spoke to him quietly. "I'm sorry, I didn't realize that you were in there. I know how frightening this is. Your brother is experiencing something called convulsive status epilepticus. It is a prolonged seizure, and is very dangerous. He is turning blue because he can't breathe properly, so we are going to paralyze him so that we can put a breathing tube in his throat and give him the oxygen he needs. Paralyzing him will stop the overt motor response and allow us to intubate him, but it won't stop the seizure activity in his brain. I will consult with Dr. Heising before administering a drug called Phenobarbital to stop the seizure. There are risks with using this drug, but the risks of permanent neurological damage are greater with this continued seizure."

Don's head was spinning with all of this. "What are the risks of using this drug?"

"The biggest risk is the cessation of all autonomic and semi-autonomic functions including breathing. He will have to be put on a ventilator. That is why I want to consult with Dr. Heising before administering the drug. I know that he was planning to do a resection on Friday, but it may not be possible to wait. The tumor has caused so much intracranial pressure that it set off this massive seizure."

Jules poked her head out the door and said, "Dr. Anderson, I have Dr. Heising on the line."

"I'll be right there. I need you to stay out here until we have him stabilized."

Don nodded and said, "Do what you have to do to save him."

Dr. Anderson nodded and turned back to the room. Don reached for his cell, but his coat and other belongings were in the room, so he went down to the nurse's station. Everyone on the unit was down in Charlie's room, so he went behind the desk and used the phone to call his father. Alan picked up the phone after only two rings. He was accustomed to rising early and he had planned on visiting Margaret's grave before going to the hospital. Don's voice was not frantic, but Alan heard the barely contained panic underneath the calm, all the same.

"Dad, Charlie is having a seizure, not an absence seizure, a full, all-out seizure. They are working on him now, and I can't get in the room."

Alan felt his heart leap in his throat. "I'm coming there right now."

Don's voice changed, and now he sounded anxious. "Dad, I...  
They are going to paralyze him so that they can put in a breathing tube." Don was truly frightened at this point, and he didn't want to be strong. He spoke in a quiet voice. "Dad, I'm scared."

Alan took a breath to try and control his own fear. "Donnie, I'll be there soon. Charlie is a strong young man. Have faith, son."

Don hung up with his father and just sat there behind the nurse's station. He was terrified by what he had just seen, but there was absolutely nothing that he could do. Suddenly he was filled with the urge to move, so he got up and walked down the hall to the stairs and down to the parking garage. He wasn't going to leave, his keys were in his jacket, but he needed to be in motion and burn off some of this nervous energy. He walked all the way around the ground floor of the parking garage at a fast pace, and then moved up to the next level. He continued this until he had reached the fourth level and was panting slightly. Having burned off some of his anxiety he went back to the unit where Charlie's room was, because he didn't want to miss his father when he arrived.

By the time Alan got to the hospital, Charlie had stopped seizing, and was now on a ventilator. His face was no longer blue but a deathly pale. He looked almost lifeless to Alan who felt his chest constrict at the sight of his youngest child. The pins in his broken leg had blood seeping from where they entered his skin and the leg looked swollen and slightly misshapen. Dr. Heising was there and going over all of Charlie's vital signs.

The EEG and the CT were not encouraging. The pressure from the encroaching tumor had set off the extensive seizure. Charlie was now unconscious, and there was no more time left. Dr. Heising told the nursing staff to prep him for surgery immediately before escorting Alan and Don out of the room and down to the lounge.

"Because of the seizure that Charlie had this morning, I can no longer wait to do the resection. The tumor has grown, and is completely blocking the left ventricle of his brain. The intracranial pressure increased dramatically and set off the seizure that you saw. Unfortunately the attack was violent and lasted nearly thirty minutes, which caused further problems. There has been displacement of the pins holding his broken leg together and that must be repaired or his leg will not heal properly. I have contacted the on-call orthopedic surgeon to come in and reset the pins while he is still under anesthesia from the resection. This will lengthen the time he is under; but, given his current neurological state, I feel that it is a lesser risk than having him put under twice."

Dr. Heising could see that this news was distressing for both men. "Charlie has a few things working in his favor right now. He is a strong and otherwise healthy young man. His heart did not suffer any ill effects from the prolonged seizure or the drugs used to stop it."

Alan sighed deeply, and nodded. "When will he be taken in for the operations?"

"It will take the nursing staff about twenty minutes to prepare him. I will wait for the orthopedic to arrive, and then we will have him taken up to the surgical suite. There is a comfortable lounge outside the operating area that you can wait in. I will come out when he is taken to Recovery and let you know how things went."

Don contacted the office to let everyone know what was happening, while Alan called Larry and Amita at Cal Sci. Over the course of the day the various members of Don's team, as well as Jack and Danny, came to the hospital. Terry and David had gone back to their own office and were now embroiled in a fraud case, while Jack and Danny used the case files from New York and Charlie's recent disappearance to continue setting up the new squad and complete their training.

Don alternately sat with a blank stare on his face, to manically pacing. He knew that the surgery would take a long time, but it had already been over five hours and still there was no word as to what was going on. Amita arrived within a half hour of Alan's call, and had not left except to get Don and Alan coffee or sandwiches which were left virtually untouched.

It was nearly five in the afternoon when Dr. Heising came to the OR lounge. He looked tired, and Alan steeled himself for terrible news but felt his heart jump when the surgeon smiled wearily.

"Both procedures went well. I was able to remove the entire tumor and have sent it off for tissue analysis. The pressure that the tumor was exerting on Charlie's brain has been relieved, but it will take some time for things to get back to normal. There will be some swelling for a couple of days as blood and cerebral spinal fluid equalize in his brain. The Phenobarbital will bleed out of his system in a short time. Now that the pressure in his brain has been relieved I do not want to continue to use it. He will be continuously monitored for further seizure activity, however. I want to make sure that he is breathing on his own before removing the ventilator. I am on emergency standby for him, and the staff have instructions to contact me immediately should anything happen. The convulsion dislodged one of the pins in his leg and a new pin was placed along with a bracing plate in the bone above his knee. He will be in Recovery for another hour or two. When he wakes up he will be confused and probably frightened. He may have difficulty moving or talking. Actually I had to put a few stitches in his tongue. He bit it very badly during the seizure. Alert the nursing staff when he wakes up so that they can page me. Keep him calm and reassure him that everything is all right."

Charlie was taken from the recovery unit and up to his room by seven in the evening. His head was covered in a large bandage with wires from the EEG monitor snaking out from underneath. His leg had been elevated with the new pins protruding out the side of his leg. There was a new set of staples down the middle of his thigh running from the knee to halfway up his leg. Amita had left the hospital after Dr. Heising had given them the news that the surgery had gone well. She came back with dinner for the Eppes men around the time that Charlie was released from Recovery and left again by nine in the evening. She asked Alan to call her as soon as Charlie woke up. All through the night Alan and Don kept a silent vigil, hoping to see Charlie's eyes open, but he slept on peacefully.

By mid afternoon the next day Don had fallen asleep in the recliner next to his brother's bed and Alan sat near the window reading a book. He would continue to glance up from his reading after every other page to see if he was awake yet. After an hour or so of this routine, Alan looked up again at Charlie and didn't register immediately that his son's eyes were open. Alan sat forward to peer more closely at Charlie, and smiled widely when he realized that his eyes were not playing tricks on him. As he stood up to come to Charlie's side, he gently shook Don awake.

Charlie was staring up at the ceiling trying to figure out where he was. He felt weak and his leg hurt. Why did his leg hurt? He had no idea what day it was or where he was. He tried to remember the last thing he was sure of, but his mind seemed to be utterly blank. _'What is my name?'_ he asked himself.  
'_My name is Charlie.'  
_'_How old am I?'_ The answer to this question eluded him. He knew that he wasn't a child, but that was about the furthest his mind would go in processing this question.  
'_Where am I?'_ His eyes told him that he was in a hospital, for he could see all sorts of monitors out of his peripheral vision. He tried to turn his head and look around but he was so weak that the effort seemed to be too much for him at the moment, so he simply stared up at the ceiling.  
'_Was I in an accident?'_ A flash of memory flitted across his mind. He remembered darkness, and bone chilling cold. He felt himself shudder involuntarily. He remembered a beautiful woman, an angel with dark hair and kind eyes. He wanted to go with her but she said that he had to go somewhere else. He didn't want to go wherever she was sending him; he wanted desperately to go with her. He suddenly felt an overpowering sense of loss, and tears formed in his eyes and rolled down the sides of his face.

Don and Alan stepped up alongside Charlie's bed as tears began to drop from his eyes. Don reached out his hand gently and touched Charlie's face, drawing his gaze. "Hey, Buddy, its okay. You're going to be fine now."

Charlie made himself turn his head slightly to look at the faces standing over him. They looked vaguely familiar. The older man had intelligent eyes and an easy smile but his eyes were very tired-looking, with great dark circles underneath. The younger man also looked worn and weary but he had a glad smile. Charlie wanted to ask them who they were and what had happened but found that his tongue was thick and soar. He tried to say something, but only an unintelligible sound issued from his mouth.

The older man spoke in a soft and reassuring voice. "It's all right, Charlie. Don't try to speak yet. That may take a little time, son."

The older man had called him son. All at once, a flood of memories crashed into his consciousness. The older man was his father, Alan Eppes. The younger man was his older brother, Don. The angel he had seen was his mother, who had died a year ago. He was dying. He remembered now. He has a brain tumor. There was an accident, he fell into Braddocks Ravine where he died and saw his mother. He concentrated all of his strength of will to raise his hand up to his head, and felt the bandaging there.

"It's over now, Buddy. The tumor is gone. You're going to be all right." Don was saying to him. Don turned to his father and said, "Press that call bell, Dad. We need to let them know that he's awake now."

"On? Ad?...  
Hi han I halk?" Charlie's eyes reflected genuine fear bordering on the edge of panic as questions tumbled through his mind. _'What happened to me? Am I an invalid who will never be whole again? Did the surgery go poorly?'_

Somehow Don understood what his brother had said. "It's all right, Charlie. The doctor said that you would have a little trouble talking at first. You bit your tongue and they had to put a couple of stitches in it. It's just a little swollen now and that makes it hard to speak. Your surgery went well; Dr. Heising was able to remove the entire tumor. Buddy, it's gone now. You will be just fine." Don had taken Charlie's hand and was gripping it reassuringly.

A nurse stepped into the room and smiled brightly at Charlie. "Well, look who decided to join us. Welcome back." She checked the monitors and wrote down some readings on a small pad that she pocketed and said to Charlie, "I'm going to tell Dr. Heising that you are awake now. How are you feeling?"

Charlie's eyes had lost the nearly feral look, and he tried to answer the nurse. "Egg hurs."

She frowned in concentration trying to make out what he had said, and Don answered for her. "He said his leg hurts."

She smiled up at Don then said to Charlie, "Well, let me get you some pain medication for your leg. Dr. Heising will come and see you shortly." She looked up at Don and said, "If he needs anything else, let me know."

Within thirty minutes Dr. Heising came in to see Charlie and also reassured him that things were going well. "You are going to have to give yourself some time, Charlie. I have several questions that I want to ask you but that will wait until you have recovered a little more and it is easier for you to speak. For right now I want to test your strength." The doctor took Charlie's right hand and put his index and middle finger in Charlie's palm. "Can you squeeze my fingers for me?" Charlie closed his hand as tightly as he could around Dr. Heising's fingers, but it was definitely a weak embrace. His right leg had minimal strength as well, but Dr. Heising smiled and said, "That's good, Charlie. Now I want you to get some rest. I am going to give your father and brother some instructions, and then I will see you again tomorrow."

Charlie nodded his understanding and realized that he was indeed extremely tired. He allowed his eyes to close and was asleep before Dr. Heising and his family had even stepped into the hallway.

"His tangible strength is very weak; weaker than I had hoped for. That doesn't necessarily mean anything is wrong. His body has been thoroughly traumatized and he may well be experiencing some lingering effects from the seizure. I want him to rest tonight, and tomorrow I'll do a full set of neurological tests on him. He is in for a difficult period of recovery. He will need intensive physical therapy. Do your best to keep his spirits up."

The next two weeks were arduous for Charlie. He had begun to speak more clearly within two days but was having a good deal of difficulty with major motor movements. His arms and legs were incredibly weak and physical therapy with the broken leg was pure torture for him. Don and his father stayed with him as much as the hospital would allow. They had both started going home at night, now that Charlie had passed all of his initial neurological tests. It looked as though he was going to be one of the thirty percent who had no lasting neurological damage because of the tumor, and his biopsy had come back benign. Don figured that Charlie deserved a break after everything that he had been through and thanked God every day for that blessing.

Even though Charlie was working with the physical therapist and doing everything asked of him, he wasn't improving as quickly as everyone had hoped. Don was growing concerned about the melancholy that seemed to descend upon Charlie. He wasn't eating well and blamed that on the hospital food, but he wouldn't even eat when his father brought in Charlie's favorite dishes from home. Don's concern grew when Amita came by to visit. He had expected her presence to snap Charlie out of his brooding, but it didn't. He was desperately hoping to see Charlie's face light up like it had before, but he just smiled feebly and asked about school.

Dr. Heising was also becoming apprehensive by Charlie's despondency. Post traumatic and post operative depression were to be expected after the experiences that Charlie had been through. He prescribed anti-depressants for the time being, but if Charlie didn't show some improvement soon, he would order a psychological consult.

It had been three weeks since Charlie's surgery and Don woke with a start. He was in his apartment and it was nearly two o'clock in the morning. Something had wakened him, but he had no idea what it was. He felt an inexplicable worry for Charlie and decided that he was going to go to the hospital. He didn't care one hoot that it was the middle of the night and past visiting hours. He had a strong feeling that his brother needed him, and he was going to respond to that feeling. When he arrived on the unit, the nursing station was vacant, so he made his way down to Charlie's room and found him sitting up in bed staring at the wall in a dark room.

"Charlie? Hey, are you okay, Buddy?" Don came over to him and sat down carefully on the right side of the bed. Charlie turned his head toward Don who could see tears on his face in the dim light that was coming in through the open door.

"What's wrong with me?"

Don wrapped his arms around his little brother as a flood of suppressed emotion broke free and Charlie sat weeping uncontrollably in his brother's arms. Don just stroked his back and held him while he cried.

After a long time Charlie stopped crying and sat back from Don. "Can you raise the head of this thing for me?"

"Sure, Buddy." Don got off the bed and found the control. He raised the head of the bed and adjusted the pillows behind Charlie so he could sit comfortably. "Do you want me to turn on a light?"

"Leave it off. I don't want you to see me like this, Don. Why are you here anyway?"

"I knew that you needed me. I don't know how I knew, I just did. Charlie, I want to talk with you about that letter you wrote."

Charlie felt an awful tightening in his chest. He had almost forgotten about that letter and all of the other documents he knew that were contained in that envelope. "You weren't meant to see that, Don. Well, at least not any more. Please, you have to understand what was happening at the time I wrote that. My head was in a different place."

Don turned on a small night light by the bed so that they could see each other clearly. He placed his hand on Charlie's wrist to get him to look at him. "Charlie, I know that you're sorry that you didn't tell me about all of this. That's not really what I wanted to talk about. I have had a lot of time to think. You were partially right about me in that letter. You said that I left LA because of you, to get away from you. To be perfectly honest, that was somewhat true, but not completely. Charlie, the main reason I left wasn't because of you, it was because of me. I have, to some degree, always felt like an outsider in this family. That feeling started around the time that your gifts were realized."

Charlie looked stricken by this statement and turned his face away from Don. Don reached out and lifted Charlie's head by the chin so that he could look at him. "I'm not blaming you for the way I felt, well, not any more. I didn't see myself as particularly important to Mom and Dad or to you. I felt big and clumsy and stupid. I felt like I was in the way all the time. You were so smart that I felt like I had to compete with you in every other aspect of our lives, and I still saw myself as not measuring up to my kid brother. Look, I know that those feelings were wrong, but like you said in your letter, they were valid because I felt them. So I did the same thing that you do sometimes. I ran away; not to the garage, but all the way across the country to Maryland. I could have stayed in LA and gone into pro ball, but like everything else in my life, I was nothing more than mediocre at it. I was never going to be a star like you."

The hurt look left Charlie's eyes to be replaced by astonishment. "You felt like a misfit? Don, I…  
I never knew that you felt like that…  
…that you felt like me."

Don looked concerned by Charlie's words as he continued, "I _am_ a misfit, Don, but I don't mind. Being different makes me unique, and that's not such a bad thing. I suppose that it makes sense that you could have felt like you were the odd man out when we were young, but it just never occurred to me that my big brother who is strong, confident and everything I ever wanted to be, could feel like I always have. I never thought you could understand what I felt like, being different from everyone around me; but now I find out that we are more alike than I ever imagined." Charlie paused for a moment then added, "Oh, and I thought you were an awesome ball player."

Don smiled inwardly at his brother's impressions of him. He had to admit that he did like having Charlie view him as a hero, but that was not what he wanted to convey to his brother right now. "I really wasn't, you know. The point is I desperately wanted to do something in my life that was important and special like you are, Charlie. I wanted to achieve it on my own, so I joined the FBI. I was always good at solving puzzles. Remember when we would watch the old Perry Mason shows, and I would always figure out who did it, before Perry Mason?"

Charlie cracked a smile at that reference. "I remember that."

Don paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts. "You feel guilty about Mom, but you don't have to. She understood what you were doing. She tried to explain it to me, but until now I don't think I really understood. You're right, I resented that time when you were locked in the garage lost in your numbers; but I have come to realize that it wasn't _you_ that I resented. It was the fact that you had an escape. You have the ability to turn your entire focus, your whole mind and soul, to something that you love, and that gives you a sense of true reality. I had no escape from the pain when Mom was dying, and I was intensely jealous of you. I didn't recognize that feeling as jealousy at the time, but now that I really look back I know that it was."

Charlie stared at his brother for a long moment before speaking. "You are the rock that this family leans on. Don't wish for the ability to tune out everything around you. It really isn't a blessing; it's more of a curse. Look at me. I fell of a cliff!"

"Charlie, that wasn't your fault. You couldn't help tuning out then. You were having a seizure."

"Was I? Or was I just so wrapped up in my own thoughts that I didn't notice what I was doing? I was so terrified by what was happening to me, Don. You know what I'm like when I get scared. Did I really have an absence seizure, or did I _drive_ myself off that cliff?"

Don felt his skin crawl at this suggestion. Charlie obviously didn't know the answer to that question, and Don knew that neither of them would ever be able to definitively answer it. Don felt that Charlie was looking for some reason to punish himself. "Charlie, when I found you at the bottom of that ravine, you had an absence seizure right in front of me. I thought for a second that you had died. Look, you did not purposely or even accidentally drive off the edge of that ravine. You _DID_ have a seizure and there was no way you could have prevented what happened. If there had been a fence there, then none of this would have happened."

Charlie sat quietly for awhile thinking about what Don had said. He was tempted to tell him about what had really happened right before Don found him, but he couldn't bring himself to relive that just yet. Telling Amita was easier. She didn't have preconceived notions about him. He knew that his account of almost dying had frightened her; it frightened him. What he wanted more than anything else at that moment was to _be_ somewhere else, not in this hospital room, hooked up to monitors and IVs. "Donnie, I want to go home."

Don smiled because this was the first time Charlie had indicated any desire to get on with his life. "Then let's get you home, buddy. Lie down and get some sleep. We are going to get your strength back so you can leave. I'll help you with your PT until they are satisfied that you are strong enough. Deal?"

Charlie smiled up at his brother, and finally Don saw the spark that he had missed in Charlie's eyes, shining back at him. "Deal."

Within a week Charlie had made remarkable progress. He worked with such determination during his therapy sessions that the entire therapy staff was stunned. When it got particularly difficult he would start reciting equations under his breath to keep himself going. This practice upset the physical therapist the first time he observed it. He was sure that Charlie was having some sort of mental breakdown. Don quickly explained that this sort of litany of numbers and equations worked to sooth Charlie and it got him past the pain he was feeling in his leg. Don was at the hospital every morning to have breakfast with Charlie before he started his morning PT session and stayed with him until he was finished with his afternoon workout. The three Eppes men would have dinner together in Charlie's room every evening, and Charlie slowly began to put a little weight back on his rather emaciated frame. Six weeks after Charlie's surgery he was allowed to go home.

Once home Charlie was forced to sleep in a bed downstairs. Until the pins came out in another few weeks, he was wheelchair bound and couldn't traverse the stairs safely. One evening after their father had gone out to his book club meeting Charlie confided in Don about his experience at the bottom of the ravine. Even after all of this time Charlie still had difficulty telling his brother. Don never told Charlie that he already knew what had happened because he had heard him talking to Amita about it. He just listened and offered comfort to Charlie.

As the weeks passed and Charlie got stronger, he went back to the hospital to have the pins taken from his leg. The steel plate remained imbedded in his healing bone and would be a permanent addition. Charlie joked that he wouldn't be able to consult with the FBI any more because he would set off the metal detectors in the front lobby.

When Charlie came back home from the hospital the second time, he was out of the wheelchair and using crutches. He was anxious to sleep in his own bed, in his own room, after three months of intensive physical therapy and recovery from his injuries. Don stayed at the house with Charlie and his father and felt like he belonged. The feeling that he was a bit of an outsider in his family had evaporated with his new-found understanding of not only his own feelings, but those of his brother. The bond that grew between them was as strong as it ever could have been.

Alan saw this bond strengthen between his sons and frequently went to Margaret's grave to thank her for her protection and the help that he knew she gave to her sons. He knew in his heart that she had awakened Don that night that he went to see Charlie at the hospital in the early hours of the morning. He knew that she had helped to keep Charlie alive when he was scared and hurt and ready to give up. She had always been a protector of this family and it seemed that she always would be.


	11. Acknowledgements and Epilogue

**Acknowledgements**

Thank you all for your comments. I have put all of your comments together and tried to address questions or observation to the best of my ability. The epilogue is after the comment acknowledgements. I look forward to posting my next story. It is nice to belong to a board that gives feedback so generously.

Love  
Alice I

**springfield  
**2005-07-14 ch 10  
I loved this story. I was always happy to see it being updated. Really great characterization and I loved how Margaret gave Charlie comfort. I like the crossover aspect too. WAT was done well-could have seen more of that interaction and the Numbers part was great. Good mystery to this too. Thanks for writing it.

_Thank you Springfield. I am not as familiar with the WAT show as I am with Numb3rs.I wanted to have the story happen in the Numb3rs universe but tell it in the WAT format so That is why there was less interaction between the WAT characters. I thought that Jack hada pretty big part though. His character is the one I am most familiar with._

**Prof3ss3r Marsi  
**2005-07-12 ch 10  
Awesome story.  
2005-07-04 ch 7  
Cool. Very nice touch with the dream.  
2005-06-30 ch 5  
Oh dear, I thought I was right. Keep going.  
2005-06-29 ch 4  
I think I know what's going on now. Interesting. Even if I'm not right, it's still interesting.  
2005-06-27 ch 3  
AWESOME! Well, kind of bad thing, but stil very cool. Can't wait. Doin' great.

_Thank you for all the comments Prof3ss3r Marsi. I have been told that I do good dream sequences. I have quite a few of them in the Harry Potter fic I wrote. They were quite well received._

**shoey  
**2005-07-11 ch 10  
wow, that was harrowing!  
My only wish is an isty bisty one, to have some closure with Jack and Danny. Loved the brothers realizing that they kind of felt the same growing up, like they were misfits. Very nice conclusion. Hope to read more from you!  
2005-07-03 ch 7  
Ok, now! Let's go find Charlie! I really like the way you keep ratcheting up the tension. I imagine there's plenty more to come  
2005-07-01 ch 6  
Great chapters. You've done the search procedures very well, and it sounded just like an Without a Trace episode. Your medical details really add the the urgency and realism of the plot. And your depiction of Don as he discovers more about Charlie's condition is heartbreaking. I'm so hooked!  
2005-06-25 ch 1  
It took me a minute to figure out why the name Jack Malone sounded so familiar...crossover! I was just fantasizing about a Numbers/Without a Trace crossover and here you go. Good start. You have my attention.

_Thanks Shoey! Glad you enjoyed the ride! OK sorry about the Jack and Danny thing. I had planned on a nice scene with them but it just didn't fit with Charlie's post operative depression. So I hope you enjoy the epilogue. The guys actually have a lot more in common than they realize. Kim said so in the episode Counterfeit Reality.  
Good word usage (ratcheting up the tension) Personally I am a bit melodramatic and I like a lot of tension in my stories. God you should see what I put poor Harry in my HP fic._

**rhea **  
2005-07-09 ch 10  
That was beautiful. I like how you didn't make us all wait for updates after updates for your story. It went smoothly and finished beautifully. i look forward to reading more works from you. :)

_I am glad that you enjoyed the story rhea. I didn't start posting this here until it was almost completely done so that there wouldn't be huge wait times. I have actually completely lost interest in stories that have excessively long gaps between postings. It's too bad really because a couple of them were really good._

**kippling croft  
**2005-07-08 ch 10  
This was a great ending. sigh I just love happy endings.  
2005-07-05 ch 9  
Great chapter. You had me close to tears a couple of times. Please update soon.  
2005-07-03 ch 7  
Great chapter I hope you update soon.  
2005-07-01 ch 6  
Wow great chapter. All the medical tech-talk was very good and believable. please up date soon.  
2005-06-30 ch 5  
Yeah Don "what is it?" Good chapter please up date soon.  
2005-06-29 ch 4  
The Plot thickens dum..dum..dum... Great chapter up date soon  
2005-06-28 ch 3  
Great chapter. I bet you Don has a really bad feeling about this.  
2005-06-27 ch 2  
Oh on it sound like Charlie is sick like really really sick Please don't kill him. Love the story Please up date soon.  
2005-06-26 ch 1  
Really great start I love it. I like the WAT crossover idea. Please up date soon.

_Good Heavens!  
Kippling do you realize that you commented on every chapter except chapter eight! Thanks you for your continued interest in the story. Great to hear from folks who like It enough to take the time to comment after what they have read._

**Pepleigh25  
**2005-07-08 ch 10  
I LOVE THIS STORY! it is amazing! and the finally chapter is so good. Kudos on a great story. It's so full of angst yet has a wonderful ending! I hope you put a epilouge, just because i don't want this story to end!

_I am very pleased that you LOVED this story Pepleigh. Your wish is my command.  
Enjoy the epilogue._

**DraconisFlayre  
**2005-07-08 ch 10  
dude that was like an awesome ending...the only thing is that when someone is coughing up blood or something is you roll them as much as you can to the left so whatever they just brought up doesn't go down the other tube...but i understand why you had to roll him right...  
oh and as for the epilogue, i say do it...if there's something else you need to clear up, just add it in, because if they don't want to read it, then they can just stop right here... oh and good job with the whole thing  
TOOTLES  
2005-07-04 ch 7  
DUN DUN DUN...cliffie much? thats okay...  
2005-06-29 ch 4  
I really like it...you made the crossover really well... :D

_HA HA there is someone else who says TOOTLES! I say that all the time and boy do I get funny looks from people sometimes. I'm am very glad that this story was so well received._

**Patty  
**2005-07-08 ch 10  
Aw, what a sweet ending. I have enjoyed this story so much and hate to see it end that I'll vote yes for an epilogue, but it isn't at all necessary. If you've ever had the misfortune to stand by and watch a loved one go through one of these attacks as I have, you'll agree that this story is extremely well written. Unfortunately my experience didn't end as well and I lost my husband, but I'm awfully glad Charlie survived.  
2005-07-06 ch 8  
Wonderfully intense chapter! I wish I were as sure as the medic seems to be that Charlie is going to be okay. Can't wait to find out what is in the package Charlie left for Don and his dad.  
2005-07-04 ch 7  
I DO hope Don knows where Charlie is; I'm definitely worried about him. Alan's renewal of faith was nice. Just like in the Book of Job, you can complain to God, even argue with Him, but ultimately you realize how important He is in your life  
2005-07-01 ch 6  
As terrible as the bad news is, I feel better now that the problem can be faced head-on, but. . but. . where IS Charlie? I was hoping that the doctor's current surgery patient was Charlie. No such luck.  
2005-07-01 ch 5  
Oh good grief, you can't stop there! I've never read anything with such a sense of urgency to it. This suspense is about to kill me please hurry back with more. I can't stand it!  
2005-06-29 ch 4  
Not too many new clues, but I'm eagerly reading. Update soon, please. I'm really concerned about Charlie and Don doesn't seem to be handling it all too well.  
2005-06-28 ch 3  
Aha, I predict that Charlie has, or thinks he has, what I suspected earlier, a brain tumor and he suspects it's malignant. The fact that his mother died from cancer only reinforces his fears. Excellent chapter. Thank you so very much!  
2005-06-27 ch 2  
This is a great cross-over. All sorts of dire things are running through my mind, wondering what ails our Charlie. Grief can do strange things to people. Please update soon; I worry!

_Patty,  
First I would like to say that I am so sorry about your husband. That last chapter must have been terrible for you to read. It was very realistic because of all of the research and I am truly sorry if it brought up bad memories for you. I wish to thank you for all of your comments on this story. It is really good for a writer to hear how the story is actually affecting the reader. You conveyed that very well and I really do appreciate it._

**graceofnight  
**2005-07-07 ch 10  
this was so wonderful. it was so suspenseful and dramatic. Charlie's seizure was so terrifying. when you wrote about Charlie's medical care, you really sounded like you knew what you were talking about, which really added to the realism and suspense.

_A lot of the medical expertise came from research, but I have also worked in the medical field for twenty years as a X-Ray tech. I have had many rotations in Emergency Rooms and Operating Rooms. I have seen seizures and serious fractures. I had thought of having Charlie's fractures be compound but my beta talked me out of that. Compound fractures would have seriously lengthened his stay in the hospital and the infections would most likely have killed him after being down in the ravine for two days. Not to mention the animals the scent of blood would have drawn to the helpless mathematician._

**Shadowbolt the Demon  
**2005-07-07 ch 9  
Wow, great fic. I can't wait till you update!

_Thanks, I hope you felt that the waits were reasonably short. I tried to do it that way._

**FlagGirl01  
**2005-07-06 ch 9  
Great update. You have a good writing style and have done a good job at developing the story and maintaining the characters. Keep up the good work.  
2005-07-01 ch 6  
OMG! This is a really great story. Poor Charlie, I hope that he is ok. Please update soon!

_I am glad you liked the story. I'm working on my next piece. Don is the one who gets it in the next story._

**deichtine  
**2005-07-05 ch 8  
Another fantastic chapter. Excellent medical research - kudos! Beware of giving too much detail on that front, though. I don't think you crossed that line but you skirted it - just something to think about. Wonderful emotional description and I thought Don especially was perfectly in character in this scene; I could imagine the actors playing it (except for Jack 'cause I don't know what he looks like. :D). Your incidental OC Marty was also very well done - given enough personality to make the reader like him and envision the scene, but not so much as to detract from the action, and this goes for other characters in previous chapters.  
Can't wait to see the next chapters!  
2005-06-29 ch 1  
Oh, and thank you for making a story without excessive violence and without profanity - much appreciated!  
Susan  
2005-06-29 ch 4  
Very happy to see a new chapter! I've been hoping to see you post this here since reading the first chapters you sent me. Your lawyer was written very well, very believably. Though I have an inkling what's wrong with C I can't wait to see how you write it - and indeed, if I'm right. :D Please update again soon!

_Thanks Susan,  
I had forgotten that I sent you the first couple of chapters for beta reading. Did I ever hear back from you? I personally do not like to read profanity. That is my one big objection to Stephen King novels. I still read his stuff though. I tried to be very detailed in every aspect of the story. I find that when I am reading a piece it helps if I can actually picture what is happening. The medical stuff has a tendency to have greater detail, simply because of my professional background. Glad you liked the lawyer. I don't really have any knowledge of lawyers so I just made him stiff and a bit of a jerk._

**Kim**  
2005-07-05 ch 8  
Ok, now the story's getting happier even though I almost cried reading this chapter. I can't wait for the next chapters.  
2005-06-29 ch 4  
This story is deep. I'm enjoying the way you're making everything easy to visualize. I know this is just a story, but I feel like this could almost be an actual episode. I can't wait for the following chapter or chapters because I'm worried about Charlie.  
Thanks for the story!

_Thank you Kim for saying that the story is like watching an episode of the show. That means that I have actually managed to accomplish what I set out to do. I also was picturing this as if it were an actual episode while I wrote it. (although the network would never put one their characters through what I did to poor Charlie.) Just wait till you see what I do to poor Don in the next story.  
BTW the name of that will be Anxiety and for anyone who read the first 2 chapters that I posted elsewhere: I will have to delete them and re-post. The story now has direction and it took a terribly gruesome turn._

**Jill**  
2005-07-04 ch 7  
woof woof What's that Lassie? Charlie fell in Braddocks Ravine! I couldn't resist. See you soon.  
2005-06-27 ch 2  
OH so Charlie is running from something. an ex-con maybe? You're following the With Out a Trace (Sp?) format perfectly. See you soon.

_Well it looks like I had you guessing there for a bit! Good that was my intention._

**Midgette  
**2005-07-03 ch 7  
Bah. Evil.  
2005-06-30 ch 5  
Gah...you're evil. EVIL!  
just so you know.

_Me thinks you don't care too much for cliff hangers. Sorry They are a bit of a habit with me.  
On the bright side I got you to come back and read the next installment!_

**Brandywine421  
**2005-07-03 ch 7  
I've been lurking on this story a while but I'm trying to review more and I have to tell you how wonderful you are handling this story.  
I love the crossover idea and I think you're handling it well. The WAT timeline and the way you're slowly letting us into the last few days of Charlie's life is perfect. I think everyone is perfectly in character, especially the way Charlie pulls away out of guilt for the way he acted after his mother's death. Awesome.

_I am glad that you decided to post a reply Brandywine. I too can be guilty of not reviewing when I have read something that I like. I have also tried to be much better about it because it feels awfully good to the writer who put so much work into the story._

**randomperson**  
2005-07-02 ch 6  
very sexy chapter with all the medical jargon... keep it up...

_Sexy! Cool I have never had my writing described that way, but I'll take it._

**zia 5  
**continue, pleez! it's getting so good. i love numb3ers and without a trace, and i love your fic. you have a great writing style, and i love the way you do the flashbacks. so just hurry and update!

_Glad you enjoyed it zia._

**falling star9  
**2005-06-30 ch 5  
NO! How could you leave a cliffhanger of this magnitude! Thats just evil man! I can't remember weither I reviewed this before. . . but I really like it. It's so original and I really think that your portraying the reactions and interactions of and between the characters accurately. Wow, I think that's the most intellegent sentance I've ever written! And that's really sad. But back to your story. I really like it and keep it up!

_Yeah that was a big Cliff hanger. Sorry I couldn't resist. I LOVE cliff hangers in stories. Just so long as there isn't a long wait for the resolution. One day seemed appropriate. I have been told that I have a good ear for the characters. That comment seemed strange to me the first time I heard it but I guess that means what you said about portraying the characters accurately.  
Thanks_

**knadineg  
**2005-06-30 ch 5  
OK, this ending is just mean :(. Hurry up with the next part, PLEASE! The suspense is way too much to handle.  
PLEASE POST AGAIN VERY, VERY SOON! THANK YOU!

_Well it got you to post! Sorry about the cliffie._

**Radioactive Raccoony  
**2005-06-30 ch 5  
What is it!Post more soon and let me know!  
2005-06-26 ch 1  
Yey!A crossover with WaT!I like it!And I love the beginning!What's wrong with Charlie?Dunno,why don't you post more soon and let me know,will ya? thumbs up

_Glad you liked it. PS: Your screen name is cute. I wonder what made you think of it._

**angeleyes46  
**2005-06-28 ch 4  
i am hooked on this story. i can't wait to read the next part. please post again soon.  
2005-06-26 ch 1  
awsome story. i can't wait to read the next part. please post again soon

_I am glad that you liked the story so much._

**sodapop15**  
2005-06-28 ch 3  
woah! this is so cool . like the pace so far . i wonder how much charlie makes a year ... and what don's reaction was to that . can't wait for more:D  
2005-06-26 ch 1  
we! a Numb3rs and WAT crossover:D i'm so excited for this! Ü the idea's awesome ... and the first chapter was too! Ü i'm so intrigued . you know, with Charlie's behaviour ... it is weird ... i wonder what he was hiding, eh? anyways ... this is just so awesome:D wish we could see more of martin though .. but it's alright! we've got danny anyways! ;) can't wait for more:D

_Charlie has hinted on two occations in the series that Mathematics pay A LOT. Cheryl Heuton and Nick F(?sp) stated on the CBS fan site that Math consultants can get up to a years worth of salary on just one consulting job. Good to see I had you guessing. And Thank-you for the comments._

**Kado shujin Sara  
**2005-06-27 ch 3  
Oh! I bet that gave Don chills. xD Please update soon! I hope they find Charlie okay, nya...

_It sure did._

**SUSIE 1  
**SO FAR I AM INTREEGED. I CANT WAIT TILL YOU UPDATE TO SEE WHAT HAPPENS

_I hope the final analysis met with your approval. Thanks for the post._

**chrissy0  
**2005-06-26 ch 1  
Great idea to have a Numb3rs/WAT crossover! Please continue, I'll keep reading:-D  
Well I looked at the other shows on CBS and it seemed that WAT was the best choice for a crossover.

_Glad you enjoyed the story._

**WynterSnow  
**2005-06-26 ch 1  
I read this story on another site, and it is definitely worth reading. I'm glad you decided to post it here. ;-)

_I am glad I became a member of this site.  
WinterSnow has written a marvelous fic called **Satan's Ribbon**. This is worth a read and let her know what you think of it. Personally I couldn't wait for each chapter to come up. Charlie makes a terrific hero!_

**Stephanie519  
**2005-06-26 ch 1  
This seems like a really good story so far. I like that you put an old teacher from Don and Terry's old school in there to. I really like it so far and I can't wait for your next chapter! smiles  
Stephie

_Thanks Stephanie,  
Having Jack as their instructor at Quantico just seemed like a good way to blend the crossover._

**Only Memories  
**2005-06-25 ch 1  
I am definitley curious now. I love Without A Trace and glad that someone did a crossover with Numb3RS. I like Don, Terry, and Jack know each other. Update soon can't wait for more.

_I hope you liked it. Thanks you for the post._

**D. Lerious  
**2005-06-25 ch 1  
glad to see that you posted this here:)

_Hey Dee,  
How's it going? I won't bother to put the epilogue on the CBS site. This is the only place I'll probably put it. Hope you like it._

**

* * *

**

* * *

**Epilogue **

Four months had passed since Charlie had come home from the hospital after his surgery. His hair had grown back at an amazingly fast rate and his father had just started commenting on how Charlie should keep it at the length that it currently was. Charlie missed his long soft curls and adamantly refused to keep it trimmed however. "Come on Charlie, if you don't get a move on we are going to miss our flight!" Alan hollered, up the stairs.

Don was waiting out front with the taxi that would take them all to the airport. Charlie had decided that he wanted to pay a visit to Jack Malone and Danny Taylor. He had never really gotten an opportunity to thank them for all that they had done to help find him. Don asked for another week off from work so that he could go with Charlie and Alan had decided to go as well making it a family trip.

Early June in New York this year proved to be unbearably hot for Alan and Don, but Charlie didn't seem to mind. Even in the unseasonably ninety degree weather he still wore long sleeves and jeans, where Alan and Don had opted for shorts during their sight seeing forays.

Jack and Danny met with the Eppes men on their third night in the city to go out to dinner. They had just finished a difficult case involving a missing child, but it finally turned out that the girl was alright, and had been off on a grand adventure with her wayward father. The group met at the Shanghai Pavilion on the Upper East Side.

Jack stepped right up to Charlie and shook his hand briskly. "It's good to see you looking so well, Professor."

Charlie smiled a warm and genuine smile. "Please call me Charlie. I understand that I owe both of you a lot." Charlie said, as he shook Danny's hand after Jack's

"You don't owe us anything Charlie. We are both just very glad that you are alright and that things turned out well." Jack said, as he led the group to the bar for cocktails. The restaurant was very busy and they anticipated a long wait before being seated.

Danny sat next to Charlie at a table by an elegant waterfall with Koi swimming around at the base in a pool. "How's the leg coming along?"

Charlie looked up from the pond and tapped his thigh lightly. "Very well. I will still use the cane for quite a while but I'm getting stronger every day. I started riding again a week ago, much to the irritation of my father. I can only go for a couple of blocks before I have to stop and rest but it's a start."

"Charlie, what would it do to that plate in your leg if you had an accident on that bike of yours?" Alan said, defensively. "And besides I usually have to come and get you after one of these rides and you can't work properly on your assigned physical therapy for hours afterward!"

"But Dad, I like riding! You know it helps me to relax and it actually is exercise." Charlie said reasonably. He had a twinkle in his eye because he knew that his father was not going to stop objecting to him 'over doing it' no matter how much logic he used to back it up.

Alan huffed and said "Personally, I think that you shouldn't be riding until the cane is gone, but then again what I think is of little consequence on my sons here." Alan directed this comment to their New York hosts.

"Now hold on a moment. How did I get involved with this argument?" Don asked, with his hands raised up defensively, although he and Charlie exchanged winks that they didn't think Alan had seen.

"I saw that young man!"

Danny and Jack chuckled at the good hearted banter between father and sons. The men laughed and joked with each other through the evening and the meal and Charlie found that he was quite comfortable with this social situation. This struck him later as slightly odd. Before coming to New York to spend an evening with Jack and Danny, they were virtual strangers to him and he was usually somewhat shy and quiet in those sorts of circumstances. These men had helped to save his life and had guided Don and the LA personnel through the process of finding him. They had read his journals and found out so many aspects of his life that they seemed to know him like they were all old friends. Perhaps it was this imperceptible familiarity that put him at ease. He had always been somewhat skeptical of new people and found himself more comfortable with solitary endeavors, but the evening spent with these men was relaxing and thoroughly enjoyable. He decided that perhaps if he could be a little more open with people he may have an easier time of it socially.

The Eppes men stayed in New York for another two days to catch a show on Broadway, visit the Statue of Liberty and put flowers down on the site of the World Trade Center, but they were glad to go home at the end of the week.

Seven months after Charlie's fall into Braddocks Ravine, he stood looking at the new fence that had just been completed along the length of the bicycle path that ran along the edge of the ravine. Charlie had spent quite a bit of time working with Larry and his father's contacts in the city zoning board to get approval for the new fence to be built.

Charlie had gotten the entire student body and faculty at Cal Sci to sign a petition for the fence, as well as several thousand signatures from the surrounding community. Most of the signatures he obtained, going door to door. He used the opportunity to get to know his community a little better and it was excellent physical therapy for his healing leg.

Don, Alan, Amita and Larry had all joined in on the campaign. They came very close to loosing Charlie and felt the need to help him come to terms with his experience while he lay helpless at the bottom of the ravine. Charlie had also been seeing a counselor to help him deal with the emotional ramifications of his rather harrowing experience and to come to grips with his feelings about his mother's death. A part of him had always known that he had never really faced the tragic loss of his mother and what that meant to his overall emotional health.

As he walked along the edge of the ravine leaning on the cane that he still used he realized that his fear of heights had disappeared. He couldn't pin-point when that had happened, and shook his head amazed at how the human psyche worked.

He had resumed his teaching schedule nearly two months ago and was looking forward to the end of term break. Charlie looked up at the trees overhead with his eyes closed, feeling the dappled sunshine warming his face through the canopy of brightly colored leaves. Even though the temperature was still quite warm, he wore a long shirt and heavy socks. He had never lost his fear of feeling cold. He wondered if he ever would, and he often times he went to bed bundled up far more than he needed to be for the late summer and early fall temperatures. As he stood there quietly with his face turned skyward a light tough on his shoulder brought him from his musings. Larry had come up beside him and Charlie smiled when he saw his friend and mentor.

Larry dug into his pocket and withdrew a small round object and handed it to the young mathematician. "Penny for your thoughts?"

Charlie draped his arm over Larry shoulders and pointed to the new fence with his cane. "Looks great doesn't it?" Larry looked up and down the length of the fencing and nodded. "Larry,… thanks."

Larry scratched his head and frowned in confusion. "What for?"

Charlie had begun to walk slowly back toward the campus still leaning on Larry and lightly carrying his cane. "For helping me to get the planning board to build this." he said, gesturing at the fence. "For helping me stay focused on the physical therapy when all I really wanted to do was sit in front of my laptop and burry myself in the numbers. For being a complete pain in the ass about getting me up and walking every morning before you would go in a teach your first classes, and for putting up with my temper tantrums when I was being stubborn." Charlie stopped walking and tugged on Larry's shoulder to get him to turn and face him. "Thank you, Larry, for being my friend."

Larry blushed slightly and raised his hand to squeeze Charlie's shoulder. "You're quite welcome, Charles."

They resumed walking back toward Cal Sci this time with Charlie using his cane rather than Larry for support. Larry seemed content to walk quietly for a time then said "You know Charles, I actually have very few of those; friends that is. Most people find me to be… well, a bit eccentric I suppose, but not you. You have always accepted me for who I am. How could I be anything _but_ your friend?"

Larry looked sideways at Charlie as he rubbed his chin nervously. "When I found out about your brain tumor Charles, I felt as though I was falling through a black hole into some other dimension. I must admit that the thought of losing you scared the hiebbie jiebbie's out of me. Who else could I go to, who realizes what a brilliant mentor, teacher and scientist I am?"

Charlie laughed and said "What about Laurel Wilson?"

Larry blushed scarlet at the mention of her name, but said, "No, no I'm afraid there is no one quite like you Charles. The world simply wouldn't be the same without you. I have therefore come to the logical conclusion that you must stay healthy and live forever, and as a former Professor of yours, that is not no mere request. I'm I understood?"

Charlie smiled and said quietly "You can count on it, Professor."

The End


End file.
